I have a a repeating friend issue and would like some insight into it. I became platonic friends with two different guys this year. Both of these men at first seemed to greatly enjoy my company. Both were shy loners like me that enjoyed the same things I did, etc. Both of them without any warning just started ignoring me. They stopped returning my phone calls, texts, emails, etc. Has anyone else had this issue? I am a very kind and understanding person and it would have been so much easier on me if they had told me why they didn't want a friendship anymore instead of running away. Not having any closure is eating away at my fragile self esteem. Any insight? Thanks

[norwegianwoman]

I am not really an expert on these kind of things, but it's possible a) they think you seem overly eager to be with them and maybe they thus think you have feelings for them and they don't want to be with you that way or b) they are really just a-holes who only want sex and when they realize they wouldn't get it they didn't bother anymore.

More then likely if you were just friends they have moved on to find someone who wants more then friends if you know what I mean .

People are funny if you don't have what they need they move on
Are these guys on line friends only or have you met with them in person ?
And I am guessing your a girl right ?

Hi yes these were real life friends. It was more an emotional bond/shared interests. They both were significantly older than me.

To bad they wont respond to you , but try not to let that bother you ..

People come in go in your life and when there in your life cherish it because it dose not last

[Bill3]

I am a very kind and understanding person and it would have been so much easier on me if they had told me why they didn't want a friendship anymore instead of running away.

These shy loners could have become nervous about your friendliness. Maybe you got too close for the comfort of a shy loner.

it would have been so much easier on me if they had told me why they didn't want a friendship anymore instead of running away. Not having any closure is eating away at my fragile self esteem.

Well that would have required them to allow even more closeness and vulnerability by telling you their inner thoughts about the relationship. I bet it felt easier and much safer for them to just leave.

I agree with the first two responses that you got. Actually, it's not just guys who are like this. A lot of people tend to be uncomfortable with getting to close to anyone to soon. Sometimes when you're lonely, maybe it's possible that you came to expect to much from them to soon? I have made that mistake in the past with people.

Without knowing the details, it does sound like they probably just wanted sex from you and nothing more. It's always best to play it cool with guys and most people in the beginning and to maintain some distance.

Most guys love the chase. Read "Why Men Love B*tches" by Sherry Argov and then you'll understand that guys think very differntly from us women. They tend to play lots of games and they will usually disrespect women who allow themselves to be treated badly.

People tend to want what doesn't come that easily to them.

Even if it's just friendship that you're after, you need to maintain some distance to not give them the wrong idea about you. I hope this helped.

Originally Posted by Bill3

These shy loners could have become nervous about your friendliness. Maybe you got too close for the comfort of a shy loner.

Well that would have required them to allow even more closeness and vulnerability by telling you their inner thoughts about the relationship. I bet it felt easier and much safer for them to just leave.

Thank you Bill for this insight, it helps. The first man got closer to me he said than anyone else. He shared all his vulnerabilities and weaknesses with me. He would frequently cry on my shoulder. To the outside world he was this tough rebel without a cause. With me he was this sweet vulnerable man. So maybe he just got too close to me and it scared him. He ran away and hid.