irksome but true isn't it?

In relation to getting along, being a smart female, as compared to living on the gut alone, what is true is that the guys wish for you to act more stupid. They pick you when you're slender and later ask you to eat alot of meals with them. Then after you get more alive for the satisfaction of your stomach, call you on things, tell you you are selfish, and make up things about your not so good intentions. Really, when you were fasting more, you sought less temporal things, but now you get told off. They set it up that way. They make sure that you are fatted up to send you away, lonely, scalded, and guilty of actually nothing at all. I want to eat meals with the gentleman, yet, I don't equate food as anything to do with myself, especially as a person that wants to be happy. (sexuallity, entertainment, spending money, doing art, taking long naps etc) So I am all fed up. I know I don't have to allow false words and suggestions from him to touch my being. I can allow the friend to express what ever he wants and not dialouge with him on it. I can allow his this if this is what he needs. He told me to not try to stop him from enjoying his family, and that I am new to his frieinds and family and must not worry about time spent with others. I read it as I come by here alot and to make myself comfortable because he is going to spend time doing something with someone else today and he hopes I don't get jelous, mad, or mean. I can maybe just stay here, it is better here today than maybe at home and the school is closed today. It's ok to me to stay in his house, I hope he dosen't mind me here and was wondering, maybe he is secretly not too happy that I am enjoying his house. Is it bad manners for me to stay in his home, while he isn't here? He didn't invite me over here today. I am not sure what it means, and what to think.

Hi Razeljenny --

I am finding it a little challenging to follow your thoughts.

As I understand, you are staying at your bf's home while he isn't home. But how did you get in if he didn't invite you over?

Whether it's bad manners depends on your relationship. If you are only to use the key when he has invited you to wait for him, it seems like it could be a violation of privacy expectations. On the other hand, if you both come and go freely, maybe not. Or maybe it will take the relationship into a freer territory.

As for the food dilemma, as I understand you believe that men use food as a weapon against women. I'm not sure whether you mean this current bf or guys in general.

I'm lost, as you can see.

But good luck with it all.

I shouldn't go over unless he knows I am going to. The key should not get used too freely.

Food is a weapon. I do set bounderies and have to reset them or I will lose out. That is just the way it is with me.

All of the bf relationships argued about meals with me, argued about what they called real, argued about what was wrong and guessed wrong about important things I felt and intentions. I am bewithered and down functioning to survive. I am not letting anyone f with me. They use food as a weapon. Then they tell you what your intentions are, they tell you that you feel this way and that way, after they feed you. It is the furtheresst thing from the truth.

It sounds like a difficult place to be, Razeljenny.

((((((((((((((((((((((((((RJ))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

It turned out ok. He and I are just testing bounderies, (emotional type ones) When I feel distance and cooler words, they sting me. I have to realize that he feels his feelings and expresses real feelings because he trusts me to accept any of them.

I get to feeling uncomfortable when he is cold. I hate cold days, he has some, but I sit through it, realizing that it is normal and average and everything can be ok, if I don't worry. I may even come off as he did a little cold sometimes, (I am sure I do more than I admit)