[Fuzzybear]

People "didn't like" me when I was a child. I was "too" anxious, "too" quiet. I was the target of bullies and abusers. I didn't have long enough claws to fight back or sharp enough teeth. I was abused by adults and children, I didn't even fight back when playground bullies attacked me. Stupid fuzzy

Now, I find myself increasingly alone. I don't have many friends IRL, I let them go at the slightest hint of unkindness or even "normal" flaws that so many people have. I do not like my life ... If I didn't have a stack of medical issues, some of which are serious, it would be so much easier to change my life

[ArthurDent]

Fuzzy...did you get the meaning of the words I sent you? There was a very important message there, but I was only to deliver it. It was up to you to discover it.

[gayleggg]

(((((((((Fuzzy))))))))))

[Frankbtl]

Hi Fuzzy, as for the bullies and abusers when you were younger.........well that doesn't need to mean in the slightest that you were unlikable..........it doesn't have to be about the person being abused or bullied at all..........the flaw's/the fault's are with the people who did the bullying/abusing. Their insecurities, their problems, their need to exert power over someone/anyone, their need to hurt someone/anyone..............whatever it was it was about them.
And being anxious, being quiet, being anything never justifies abuse or bullying.
And not fighting back when you were attacked is completely understandable........if you're intimidated, feeling powerless, you've been made to feel worthless.........but you know maybe not fighting back could have been pretty smart as well.........who knows maybe it could have been worse for you if you did. But either way.........you were NOT stupid!!!
I am so sorry you had to go through all of that though
The not having many friends/pushing people away in real life............well it is good that you're identifying what you feel is a problem to you and you definitely have the capacity to accept/value people regardless of flaw's...........look how amazing you are to us on here!!!
So maybe you could build on that in real life???
But I don't necessarily think that quantity of friends matters that much, what matters much more is the quality of friends, what really counts.
And hey, you have lots of friends on here to make up for the quantity bit anyway!!!
Still, I'd say that you could still change your life a little if that's what you truly want around that.........like I said you definitely have the capacity..........it might not be easy but........small steps, hey???
Alison

I'm so sorry , you seem like such a sweet caring person , I pray someone special comes into your life . Hold on to hope

[~Christina]

Fuzzzy

[Trippin2.0]

Definitely not your fault in any way shape or form that you were raised surrounded by azzholes.


Don't place the blame on your shoulders, none of it, because it simply does NOT belong there. Never did.


It's good that you're aware of how your childhood may be impacting your life, and with tiny little cub steps at a time, you can try to change what you think needs some tweaking.


PS. You're a sweetheart my dear friend. Anyone who found ANY reason whatsoever to dislike you were delusional or stupid, or both!!!




PPs, very proud of you for using your voice, you've become so brave!


You're proving that change is possible for you...

[Angelique67]

💟💟💟(((((((((((((Fuzzy)))))))))))))💟💟💟

[A Red Panda]

I understand what you mean about being "too" much of something, and at the same time "not enough" of something.

You're just right for everything Fuzzy. It was your abusers and bullies who had too much and not enough of stuff - too much anger, hate, not enough compassion or sensibility.

But you? You're just right as you are.

And you are making change - even since I've been on the forum, I've noticed you starting to use words more often to express yourself. That's a huge change, and something to be very proud of for so many reason!

[ptangptang]

Giving you a big non-sexual christmas hug Fuzzy. Don't dwell on the past though. the only things you can affect are the present and the future. Do the best you can in your situation to affect things for the better. I had to leave a club recently because a few members were making things uncomfortable for me. So now and again people come along that dent your faith in humanity but , you know what, someone else comes along shortly after who restores it. Have faith in your own goodness and humanity and feel sorry for others who don't match your standards.

[VanAswegenM]

Well said.

[BeaFlower]

I was similar as a child Fuzzy, and I'm 'too' quiet and anxious also now. I'be not been abused, but I can relate to those other things.
What you could do is trying not to care about what certain people say or think about you. I know well that it's difficult But we can do it. Only the opinion of the people who love us is important.
And...you aren't stupid!!! You're awesome Love you!