[ptangptang]

I have been chatting online and on the phone for the last few weeks to a lovely, kind, warm-hearted , caring, funny, attractive and compatable woman- everything i want in a woman really. I think she is lovely and she says the same about me and we send each other loads of kisses etc so there is a spark there. We haven't met up yet but will do after Christmas. The problem is my lack of self esteem and lack of motivation to do much around and to the house. I am short fat and bald ( think a cross between danny devito and mr pickwick haha) and at times feel less than a man. When the devil on my left shoulder talks to me ( not that i hear voices,i mean metaphorically) it says 'what woman would want you. She'd want a real man not some ugly halfling, not half a man. The angel on my right shoulder says 'but Peter, you are charming, funny, you have loads of interests, you have 2 houses, loads of money, you are kind, ,caring, fun to be with and , though i say it myself, a nice person. The catch is that even if she does accept the way i look ( she's seen my pictures and though i do slightly doctor the dating profile she knows what to expect ) when she sees my house and lack of motivation i have in doing much to it ( i'd say it is halfway to being in a state that most women would expect ) it wouldn't surprise me if she ditches me; but to get me to do much /get it done i need the love of a good woman. After a lifetime of being on my own i can't really go on without the loving company of a soulmate ( or as near as can be). Loneliness and lack of self esteem has eaten away at my soul for most of my life and i can't take it much longer. However if this relationship does work out i would be the happiest man alive since Mr Happy won 'The happiest man in the world 'title '10 years running.

[~Christina]

Just go for it !!!!

If u have money why not hire a person to come and clean your place ?

[hvert]

Nature1986 has a great suggestion!

Women in general think about this stuff very differently than men. We expect bachelors to have messy houses and just aren't as interested in looks as men are. Listen to the angel on the right

[baseline]

Hi Ptang, Could you meet somewhere outside your home the first few dates or her place? This will give you time to get your place in some order. The love of a good woman should be good motivation for you. About your looks if you are who you say you are it shouldn't matter! We are all flawed in some way. Go for it! Take one day at a time and enjoy the feeling!!! Peace P.S Definitely clean up the house bachelor or not. If you clear away the clutter you will have room for the new experiences!

[unaluna]

You still have me waiting in the wings. Im not sure if thats a threat or a promise!

[lizardlady]

Baseline has a good suggestion about meeting somewhere away from your house the first few times. Isn't that a basic safety precaution when meeting someone you met online face to face? She might appreciate the idea herself.

regarding the condition of your house - what about being up front with her? Tell her the house is a mess and you'd like a chance to fix things up before she sees it?

[x_BabyG_x]

Wow. you do realise the only problem here is your lack of self esteem? not the way you look, not what you do or do not do...

This wonderful lady obviously seems in to you. Run with the wind Mister, i'm sure you will find something amazing not just in a lovely lady, but also in yourself.

M x

[ptangptang]

Thanks guys. Haha Hanks. If i were closer i would have come down your chimney last night. Do you like short,fat, bald men with a white bristly beard and a big sack. I've been leaving little presents in socks for years haha Yep lack of self esteem and poor self image is my biggest problem. It's not that the house is that dirty ( not like some of these hoarding programmes), just half finished. Half finished kitchen, half finished bathroon and just needs re-decoration. Like i said i need the love of a good woman to give me a kick up the bum and a loving relationship to look forward to to do it. Happy Christmas guys. And girls if you do choke on a pudding this christmas , i hope he was worth it.

[~Christina]

Just ask her out for dinner, have some flowers for her ( yes most women really do like them) and just be yourself.. If this woman get the juices going trust me you will have your place cleaned and shining asap !