Relationship ending - need support

I've been in a long distance relationship for seven years that I think finally may be ending. We've always argued but this time he told me not to come and visit despite the ticket being bought to 'teach me a lesson' regarding something he was unhappy about. He feels like I'm being unreasonable and I feel my sacrifices are being completely unappreciated. I've always had to do all of the traveling due to circumstances and it's taken a huge toll on my life.

Yet since he was very unhappy with our argument I'm told not to write to him and if I call he won't answer the phone. It's all rather devastating at this point but this is the kind of relationship that is extremely hard to leave. I still love him, but feel like this is finally too much.

If I do end it that will be terribly, horribly painful and difficult, but because he wasn't happy with my attitude about something I'm being thrown out and blackballed. The insults he hurled at me were intentionally painful. To know he wouldn't answer the phone and he's 'teaching me a lesson' may finally make this relationship, which is so hard to maintain, not worth having.

Sorry for the long post. This is just such a devastating time for me and I'm very much in need of support. He's always been my support but won't be anymore. Finding a way to go on and replace that, as well as all of the wonderful times we had, is unfathomable, but may be unavoidable.

hi percygirl
i can understand your devastation. you are being treated very poorly by someone who claims to love you. i can see that you can see both sides of this, that this isnt the proper way to be treated in a relationship but because you love him it is difficult to face the idea of separating. but imagine going thru these feelings every time he is unhappy with an argument the two of you have. maybe putting together a pro/con list on what you are getting out of the relationship and what it is costing you is worth a go. welcome to psych central. you will find we have several forums where you can post about your concerns and receive feedback from other members. you will get a lot of support here. again, welcome

Honey we are here for you. Pm me if you want. I ended a cohabitating almost 9 years long relationship last summer, I had such bad adjustment anxiety with moving out dealing with our families etc but guess what I am happy and healthy and enjoy my life . I got over. You'll find right person one day and things happen for a reason . Many hugs, it hurts but trust me it gets better every day and you'll be over it
I had to add that if relationship is still long distance after 7 years it lacks commitment and it might for the best to end it. Again hugs to you

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This guy has a vindictive streak a mile wide. If you think that makes him unacceptable as your partner in life, I would be inclined to agree with you.

It's been a true case of opposites attract and always up and down and up and down. Never what I thought I wanted and yet when the times were good they've been better than any other.

The sacrificing I have to make though, it's wearing me out. The older I get the harder it is. The strain of it caused me to act out knowing he'd react negatively. Now we're in another stalemate. He has no clue how hard it is. As horrible as it's been I know he's in love with me and more than anything wants me there. Now it's up in the air once more. I can never break free, but maybe this time I'll have pushed him too far and there's no way for him to fix it. If he even wants to. Emotionally I became irrational because of the anxiety and stress of the sacrifice and travel.

Just a soap opera, but if it truly ever does end I will need emotional support in place of what he has been able to give me. There will be a void in my life that I'll have to try to fill some other way. The not knowing at the moment is the problem.

Don't feel you have to be rational. If you're a nice person, being with someone who is mean is not going to feel very satisfying.

Waiting for those occasional good days may just not be worth it. Keeping him on an even keel seems like a lot of work. Going through life having to walk on egg shells gets worse as the years go by.

Honey the void will be there but only for short time. You will fill the void with activities work hobbies and friends and family and when u ready u will meet the right person. I will never ever be in hot/cold situation again. I'll get out every time and I would rather be alone than ever in this nonsense. Anxiety? Stress? No thanks. And really after all these years you guys are still long distance? No commitment? You deserve better. Realize that you will get over him and you will be much better off. Good luck to you.

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