Confused Desires Part Three

Okay, so I don't really know where to put this post but it has to do with a relationship. I have been dating this guy for a while. He is 35 and I am 18. Is this wrong? I feel guilty about it now. I mean we haven't done anything; but I have done things for him through video. I feel ashamed about it now because I can never take it back. I don't want to leave him because I don't want to hurt him. I also feel stuck in this relationship. I mean we have talked about everything. I don't know what to do.

Also, I tried to break up with him yesterday and he dropped the suicide bomb. Me being upset and all I tried to take him back. Now I feel guilty.

I did leave him today. Is it bad that I still crave sex from him. I mean we never had sex; but the desires are still there. I still have feelings for him. I let him go, but I still love him. Am I wrong to feel this way? I mean he is 35 and I'm 18. I wanted to have a life with him--to have children. I really fell in love with him. He satisfied something in me that no one else has before. Half of me just wants him for sex, but the other half really wants a relationship. I'm so confused because my feelings are different than what I just did.

I think your feelings are different because of what you just did. You're wondering if you just "lost your chance" for sex or a relationship. The truth is you have tons of chances and the very fact he threatened suicide when you attempted to leave...stay WELL clear...you can and will be in a relationship that is much safer than that.

Yeah I do feel I've lost my chance to have sex. That's what I crave from him. I just have love issues.

You can just keeping adding to your original post, Its a tad confusing with new thread updates..

Did you break things off regardless of his manipulation and blackmail threats to try and keep you under his thumb?

Sorry. I didn't mean to confuse you. That was not my intention. Yes, I did end it.

Good for you