He has gf but he texts me everyday

I am on the opposite end of a situation like this. My boyfriend was texting another gal all of the time. He kept saying they were just friends and that she had a boyfriend. She would come crying to him all of the time about her boyfriend problems. I told him to stop communicating with her and instead h continued but kept it secret. Long story short, he spent many months playing house with me but texting her until she finally left her boyfriend and then he left me for her. It hurts really bad. If you are a respectable woman you would take a step back.

If I knew the answer I wouldnt ask.
Those who think Im bad- people cant control their feelings and they left their gf and bf not because someone is jerk but because they fall on love with another. Not texting etc cant help with this.

Those who think its unhealthy- Im sorry its the dumbest thing I ever heard. Its pretty normal to fall in love with someone with who I feel good, with who I have so much similar, who is attractive and shows interested in me all the time, there is nothing unhealty. Im not saint to control my feelings and search for a loser who is alone just to look good and healthy.
Our lady tears Im sorry you were left but I think your ex wanted that girl before and thought of her all the time no matter what she did.

People can't control their feelings but adults sure can control their actions.

Sure falling in love is great

. But if you believe there is nothing unhealthy repeatedly falling in love with men who are not treating you right and simply are not suitable, then you need more help than you realize.
Please seek help, I say it with compassion


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Falling in love isn't unhealthy at all. It is wonderful. But if a person is unhappy in their relationship to the point that they feel the need to seek out other people then they need to leave it. Your feelings are not unhealthy but your actions are selfish. You two need to realize that you are hurting people by what you are doing. He needs either tend to the relationship he is in and set boundaries with you or end the relationship he is in and see where things go with you. I think your attitude would change if you were this other gal.

It is good to fall in love. But true love is achieved when you want your love's happiness all the time.
There is a major problem with guys that they remain confused b|w girls. If he loves you always remember that he will come for you without any confusion.
Being a girl you can understand how other girl is feeling. Try to make him understand, what she needs.
If you really love him. Do this. Try to understand his problems.
Try avoid talking to him at night.
Otherwise you will try to come up with your feelings directly may be he will accept but you too know this that he can be confused again b|w u and another girl.
Love is like river which always gives and never takes

You deserve better than someone who sounds an awful lot like a cheater.

LunaticSoul, if you don't know the answer, then why are you refuting everything everyone is saying? You come on here, claiming you want answers; but then you dispute what everyone says. You keep making excuses and telling us that what you're doing is okay and normal. If you have already decided that, and you don't want to hear anyone out, then you are just wasting your time and everyone else's. I know that's harsh, but........

My t always says we can't really control what we feel but what's important is to control our actions. She says not controlling ones actions result in disasters but feelings are feelings and we can accept them but don't immidiately act on everything we feel

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I'm here to hear opinions not to believe in every of them, we can discuss.
I asked this to my friends too not only here, they have different opinion about it.

I never asked am I acting good or bad, I was trying to understand his behavior not going to the priest asking- is it a a sin or not.

It is pointless to waste any time trying to understand others' behavior, all you can do is to understand and control your own.

Unfortunately some people cheat the way this guy does. I am not sure why do you want to understand why he cheats.

As my t put it when I try to understand some people's disgusting behaviors "there are a lot of emotionally unhealthy people and there is no point of trying to understand why they do what they do, you might never get the answer, just focus on your own well being"



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I'm 100% with shortandcute. Just because your friends have a different opinion than the majority of the people who are answering you on here doesn't make that opinion correct, it just means that birds of a feather flock together. And perhaps that your friends are telling you what you want to hear and not what you need to hear, because unfortunately a lot of friendships between women are like that--we feel like it's more important to be liked by our friends than to give them good advice. You asked a question, several people gave you basically the same answer, and yet this thread is on its third page. I'm confused as to what more you're looking for. I am honestly not trying to be mean to you. But the long and short of it is that this guy is not respectable, if he were he wouldn't be chatting you up like he was interested in something with you while he has a girlfriend regardless of the situation with said girlfriend. Proceed however you wish (because you're going to anyway), but don't be surprised when things don't turn out so good for you because it doesn't really sound like he respects either you or the woman he's with. There are plenty of other men to chat with, and both of you (women) deserve better. And it makes me sad that you don't already know this.

Thank you all
Its a forum of mentally ill people and now I know what they think.
I also know what healthy people think.
I made a mistake asking opinion to you, my t (the same who kissed me year ago) told me that its okay. Also my another t thinks its nothing wrong to text with a guy who has gf, he is not married and texting is not a sin, we dont do sex chat.

Well, the mistake you actually seem to have made is one of assumption: not all of us here are considered mentally ill. And even if we are, it doesn't mean we're mentally deficient or lack common sense or judgment. Just like being diabetic or having any other illness doesn't mean any of those things.

If everyone (but us, it seems) is giving you the green light, I'm wondering why you've come back to this thread? Why not just go ahead and text the guy? I'm sorry that you didn't receive the answer you wanted from the people on this forum, but please don't come on here and insult the people (even subversively) who have taken the time to answer a question you asked because of it. The people here are awesome and don't deserve that. You asked a question in a public forum and when you do that, you open yourself up to whatever answer you're going to receive and, unless there is blatant bullying or insult (which there is not in this case) you need to be ready to be okay with that answer regardless of what it is.

I actually remember the thread about the t who kissed you and from what I remember of it, I don't feel like you actually want our advice. I feel like this thread is heading in the same direction, so this is the last post I will be making on this one. I wish you the best. Take care.

Of course the therapist who kissed you the one you wanted to date in violation of every kind of decency says that cheating is ok. I bet your abusive bf who forced you to have sex also says it is ok. Lol bet you cheater dude says same thing! and if your friends are anything like that as well of course they say same thing! No surprise here!

If these folks are healthy in your opinion you need more professional help than you are willing to admit.



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We might be mentally ill, but everyone else; you, your unethical T, your friends, your abusive ex, and your future cheating bf... You're all morally ill.


And that's way worse.


At least being mentally ill isn't my fault, can't say the same for you and your lot.

I think you will get as many different viewpoints on this as the amount of people that you will ask. In general, with the older generation, opinions will be more conservative.
I don't think it is cheating to be texting with someone else, it is very common nowadays, with the advancement of technology. Who says guys and girls can't be friends..
I wish you all the best..

I agree about being friends but she said she is in love with this guy. A bit different. I doubt she is texting with him to be friends

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You just don't like the answers you are getting.

This statement is a reflection of your maturity level.
I strongly urge you to evaluate how you would like other people to treat you, and treat them with the same regard.

I, personally, am glad that you are a member of this forum and that you are working with a therapist. I am sure that both will be beneficial to you in your personal growth.

Good luck.

Just remember that YOU are on this forum too. And your t, who kissed you over a year ago thinks it's ok. The fact that he kissed you shows me that he is not someone who should be giving that kind of advice.

Just out of curiosity, exactly what do healthy people think?

omg Im not that sickly emotional, I just dont care about this answers, I have my ppinion and it seems that here are old ladies who thinks its a sin to text friendly with a guy, its funny.

They think its pretty normal to text with friend who has gf I also think so.

I agree. Other members seems to be old ladies, they cant understand young people.

My t was mad at my ex bf who abused me and really sad it happened to me. He said ny ex bf was awful.

Nice. I think you should bang him and watch what happens.