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#1
Apr 07, 2007, 11:10 AM
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or feel, for that matter!
A series of events has taken place in the last few days. 1) DH took a couple of quizzes here and one stood out for both of us... or at least, the result to one of the questions did. He's totally disconnected from his partner/spouse. That means me. It's nothing new to me, but the reminder hurt. 2) My daughter, who hasn't spoken to me in almost 10 yrs is in town for Easter. Guess who gets top priority to whatever festivities there are this weekend? She does! Again, I get left out. 2a) DH has dinner with her family and with our youngest and his family last night. I asked DH to bring me back "a house special". When he got back, it wasn't the house special but a nasty looking quesadilla full of jalapenos, sour cream and guacamole. PUKE! I don't eat hot stuff and avocados make me deathly ill. Of course it wasn't DH's fault but still... 3) I haven't heard from my so-called best friend in 3D but maybe twice since last November. Her mother has been in town but it's never stopped us from getting together before. Yesterday, we were supposed to go out to lunch. We planned this a week ago. Long story short, she didn't show up and she didn't call. I left a message on her machine that she was on my ***** list now. When she finally called back, she gave me her excuse. When I asked her why she didn't call she said "Uh... I just didn't." That pretty much ruined a good part of my day. I was angry. I woke up during the night and I woke up mildly angry and confused. I woke up this morning and I'm more confused than angry but I'm going to do what I usually do in circumstances like this. She'll be pretty much out of my life; "you screw with me once, shame on you. you screw with me twice, shame on ME." It's not going to happen again. If she calls next week, like she said she would, I'm not going out with her and neither am I going to get ready to go out just to be left waiting. She can come over and we can spend time here; I might even fix lunch, but I'm not going to hold my breath. Ok... so this is the story of my life. I'm teetering on anger and resentment and feeling sorry for myself and wondering why people treat me this way. WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON??? Why do people treat me this way?? It's not because I LET THEM!    
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Psalm 119:105 Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path. |
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#2
Apr 07, 2007, 11:41 AM
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I am so sorry that you are feeling so much pain right now. A lot is going on. Sometimes people can be so inconsiderate. Maybe your friend was hurtful unintentionally? I hope so. Please take care.
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#3
Apr 07, 2007, 12:59 PM
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okie dokie, the next time put Jalop peppers in Jerry's dessert, then act surprised, as for your friend in 3D, flip her off and stick with us, btw, your room is ready for your vacation here
Love ya Angie
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 A good day is when the crap hits the fan and I have time to duck. |
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#4
Apr 07, 2007, 03:42 PM
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  See your answer in the Caregiver's thread! {{{{{{{{{{{{Angie}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
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Psalm 119:105 Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path. |
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#5
Apr 07, 2007, 07:49 PM
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((((tomi))))
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He who angers you controls you! |
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#6
Apr 07, 2007, 07:52 PM
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Hi Tomi -- I'm sorry this has happened to you.
Do you think perhaps it's possible that life/the Universe is sending you a message that it's time to move on, by which I don't mean physical movement, but move on in terms of self-growth. It's a shame to lose old friends, and I am mourning the loss of one, possibly two friendships myself. Perhaps there is some lesson for us to learn from these things. I dunno. (((((((((((((((((((((((((((Tomi)))))))))))))))))))))))
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#7
Apr 07, 2007, 08:14 PM
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Anything is possible, Wants2. I've had a couple of days to think about it and I at least have to let her know how I feel. What she does with that is her business.
As for my daughter, I've moved on as much as I can. I really resent it when she comes down on a holiday because then I'm out in the cold. Any other time of the year, I'm okay. I probably do need to find other interests to fill up my time and energy so these other things don't bother me so much.
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Psalm 119:105 Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path. |
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#8
Apr 07, 2007, 09:06 PM
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Dang it Tomi.. been thinkin bout this since we talked earlier.. its got me po'd. Girl..... I think its time you pulled the reigns back in on your family here and became part of it again!! Your daughter has NO RIGHT to do this to you!!!!!!!! NONE!!!!!!!!!!! YOU Deserve to be with them EVER BIT AS MUCH AS SHE DOES on holidays or any other time they are together!! This is BS!!!!!!!!!!!
 TOMI
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#9
Apr 08, 2007, 12:14 PM
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Beth, I wish I had the ability and the power to tell my boys what to feel. I don't. I would just be totally cast aside, then. I taught them to think for themselves and to be independent.
No, it's not fair! No, it's not right! But all I can do is deal with the way things are. I don't have to like it, though. I have to take into consideration that my daughter has a mental illness. The boys response to her is out of love. They love their sister. I wouldn't have it any other way. What I've been told is that they don't allow her to bad mouth me. If it's true, then I'm grateful for that, at least. She's spending the day with her father and his family. HE was her abuser. Go figure! I left him because the abuse was spreading from me to my two oldest kids. Tell me she doesn't have things messed up in her mind! I can't do anything about it... and I won't. She's on her own.
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Psalm 119:105 Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path. |
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#10
Apr 08, 2007, 05:55 PM
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Do you want to work on your relationships with your daughter or have you given up on that? It sounds like it's painful... and it's probably painful for her to not have you in her life. It sounds like there are some major issues, but I hope that someday you can both get past them... maybe with counselling? It makes me sad when I hear that a mother and daughter don't have a relationship... and it affects the rest of the family too. I would be lost without my mother.
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“Almost everything you do will seem insignificant, but it is important that you do it." - Mahatma Gandhi |
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#11
Apr 08, 2007, 06:59 PM
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I've done all I can to bring us back together. She sees me like an addiction, much like a recovering alchoholic sees alchohol. She doesn't dare come anywhere near me or she'll be consumed by me again. She's Borderline, you see, with extreme paranoia. What can I do?
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Psalm 119:105 Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path. |
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#12
Apr 10, 2007, 03:34 AM
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It's a very sad situation.
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“Almost everything you do will seem insignificant, but it is important that you do it." - Mahatma Gandhi |
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#13
Apr 10, 2007, 05:24 AM
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((((((((((((((SeptemberMorn)))))))))))))))))
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 No kind action ever stops with itself. One kind action leads to another. Good example is followed. A single act of kindness throws out roots in all directions, and the roots spring up and make new trees. The greatest work that kindness does to others is that it makes them kind themselves.
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#14
Apr 10, 2007, 04:51 PM
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Anybody got any ideas on what I should about my "friend"? I can't seem to make my mind up about that. Should I tell her how I feel, should I not answer the phone next time she calls, or...
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Psalm 119:105 Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path. |
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#15
Apr 10, 2007, 05:44 PM
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call her
__________________
He who angers you controls you! |
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#16
Apr 10, 2007, 07:14 PM
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September, I am sure whatever you decide will be the "right" thing in this difficult situation. As for whether or not to answer if she calls, would it make sense to follow your heart/intuition/inner guidance at the time when this occurs.
Sometimes I torture myself trying to make decisions about things that never happen.
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#17
Apr 11, 2007, 11:00 PM
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And say what, Be? She knows her manners and she knows what she did was at the very least, rude! Me telling her she's on my ***** list lets her know how *I* feel. So, what do I say? I'm not gonna call her and just shoot the breeze...
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Psalm 119:105 Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path. |
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#18
Apr 11, 2007, 11:10 PM
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Listening to my intuition will probably be the best thing. I just wish I could make up my mind Yesterday, 'cause I want to put this to rest. I'm tired of thinking about it and getting hurt and angry all over again.
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Psalm 119:105 Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path. |
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#19
Apr 12, 2007, 04:23 PM
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if you are really close friends just say "you know the way you have been treating me lately is not how friends treat friends and if this is the way you are going to continue to behave then maybe we aren't really friends as I had thought. If you wish to remain friends then the ball in now in your court. If you call me again for lunch and you do not show then don't bother to call me again."
__________________
He who angers you controls you! |
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