um, kindda debate if my husband is controlling

Hi there, just want to get others people viewpoints/opinions on this.
I'm kindda debate with someone if my husband is controlling.

Something is on my mind in the past few hours, lol!!…. In another Forum that I'm usually on. As we were posting/sharing in the topic about 'husband', etc....
One poster there said this: ---- “The reason why my husband married me is because of my passivity and sexually inexperience, becasue he needed a wife that he can CONTROL.”

okay, I admit it does kindda make me wonder if this is true, lol.... wondering…. should I ask my husband this when he get off work?…. But my guts feelings telling me that if I asked him this, he will be pissed off.

Do you find this situation below is controlling?… That one poster reply say my husband is controlling, and he married me because I’m easy for him to control.

Me and my husband live in the same neighborhood, that was how we met, date and married….. We live in a bad neighborhood/city area; here have alot of gangs and violence..... Back then, sometimes I go out late at night, like 1-2am and I still drive outside, going out…. Being a girl, going out alone in the middle of the night with high heels on is a bad idea.
At the time he was my boyfriend. He said IF I want to go out in the middle of the night, he will NOT stop me….. I can go anywhere I want, he won’t stop me BUT he will follow me quietly and watch me from far away, to make sure that I’m safe.

Some read this say my husband is creepy, because he quietly following me and watch me from far away to make sure I don’t get hurt or anything bad happen to me…. He did what he said, even now we are married he still say/do the same thing as before…. But I listen to him now, I don’t go outside that late anymore…. okay, he might be creepy alright, but I think he do it out of caring for me.

Some say he controlling, but I don’t think so because he not stop me from going out in the middle of the night, he just want to make sure I’m safe…. I really can’t wrap my head around thinking he is controlling. I know I’m not blindly in love, if he controlling, I would know by now…. I’m the one that strict with him. I’m the one always testing his love, his persistent and his patience.

So what your take on this, is what he doing controlling?
Heck, what is wrong with me, my hormones is whack today, why am I questioning my husband like this, lol

This sounds more like he is caring that controlling, especially if you are in areas that are not good ones.

Thank you for your reply, I think so too.

In defense of my husband. I asked him not to go with me, it is in the middle of the night, it late at night anyways.... I dunno, I rather have him sleep. And I wasn't gonna be gone for long time, so I didn't need him to go together.

I'm always the independent type of girl, I'm used to go out alone..... At the time he was just my boyfriend, we weren't married at that time..... I told him no need to go with me, so he respect that.
But he said he is worried about my safety, afterall we living in "the ghetto". Those in USA should know what kind of neighborhood is this.... Here have gangs, violence and even shooting.... This is in the middle of the night, so he worried, he would just follow me from far distance to make sure I'm okay.

I think he just being over-protective.... I'm a petite/short height girl, so I love to wear high heels everywhere she go. You know to look pretty and look taller, Lol!!!.
But when it rains outside, he always remind me to Not to wear high heels, wear shoe instead..... Because wear high heels out in the pouring rain, I might slip and fall.... He worried about my well-being, he caring like that.... Perhaps he just being protective.

I don't think that is controlling either. If you didn't *want* him to follow you and he did it anyway, maybe that would be controlling. It seems reasonable to choose not to go out at 2 AM in the ghetto wearing heels.

You sound pretty independent in your posts.

Unless he's making other comments that leave you wanting to change the dynamics of who you are, I can't say, all things considered having a bodyguard from a distance is a matter of control. And if he's not creating drama, why not?

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