What to say to this?

When someone says they miss you a lot and feel empty without you being there; how do you respond?

I feel like saying I appreciate the time we hang out but there are other things to do rather than hanging out with me. Live life and have fun.... I feel I maybe filling a void of their happiness since they had said that. :\

I'm someone that enjoys being independent and having time to myself.

The part about feeling "empty" when you aren't there would make me uncomfortable, too. There are kind of two parts to that for me, the second part being who would say that even if they felt that way?

People are not always precise with their language, though, so sometimes you have to go with your gut feeling about them.

There is nothing wrong with saying I miss you and I would respond back with the same. But feeling empty is a bit excessive. But could be that they are just talking like that or are bilingual. Ask what they mean and also depends who says it? Your partner?

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Yes, it was my partner.

He had been through 2 years of depression and I know I had been through some myself with feelings of loneliness. But he told me he is pretty happy now when ever I talk to him and then sent that to me last night after I have been away for a week with my family on vacation. He had sent me a text asking if I had missed him before that, so I called him and told him he didn't need to ask me I would of told him and he said yeah right. Which I feel I need to tell him I know my feelings I don't want someone to be telling me how I truly feel.

I do need to have a talk about it with him. I am concerned and feel that he isn't as happy with himself as much as he says through things he tells me. He struggles at meeting others too though when I am out in public with him he seems fine with interacting with others.

I sometimes am needy and want people to tell me they miss me. Not everybody is as confident and content. You seem to be. He isn't. For him to ask you if you missed him is a way to elevate his anxiety over your relationship.

If you do love him meet him half way. If he asks if you miss him tell him you do. Maybe words of affirmation is his love language. He needs the words. Unless you don't love him, just give him the words.

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I wouldn't be too comfortable hearing that.


Next thing I know, my bf could be saying something like "you complete me" or heaven forbid, "you're my reason for breathing"


Emotional red flags to me, he would be placing way too much responsibility on my shoulders.


I can't be responsible for filling someone's void. Next I'll be responsible for their very happiness, just much too much.


Idk how I would respond to that.


I don't find any problem with asking if he missed you though, thats a valid question.

I feel that one cannot be responsible for other people's happiness, they must find it for themselves. You can help them of course, but in the end it is their responsibility. Disaster lies the other way.

I agree, normally that person becomes controlling from what I have seen too. I text him while I was busy asking about him feeling empty and he said that he is fine, it was his mood. So I'm not sure what is up. I will still talk to him later.

Maybe he meant he fell lonely? Is he generally expressive about his feelings? Feeling empty is extreme but maybe it is just an expression?

And I think if people 100% responsible for their own happiness then why even be in a relationship and why show love and affections? We create our happiness I agree but we also want to be loved and want people show us love.

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"Look for other ways to fill that void."

His comment makes me uneasy. I wonder if it is his intention to make you you feel pressured to talk with him, or to feel some responsibility to fix the emptiness? I hope that you don't.

Yes, controlling. That was my reaction.

The comment made me think of emotional blackmail--where someone tries to manipulate your feelings in order to get what they want.

Out of the FOG - Emotional Blackmail

What I heard was someone trying to make you feel guilty and responsible for that alleged emptiness.

The key word here is "responsible".


Other people cannot be responsible for our happiness, that is a HUGE responsibility to place on someone!

It akin to being held emotionally hostage.


Adding to my happiness, complimenting my life in different ways, adding value to my experiences.... Now that's different from being responsible for my very happiness.


That's what he should be doing, adding value to my life, not attempting to be the currency.

I agree if you put it this way. I view it the sane way.

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Thanks for all the comments. I have gotten some good information.

I won't ask him about the emptiness over the phone since he said he was fine over the text. If he talks about it I won't give in because I know it's not my fault for his emptiness. I am more for helping people help themselves because I know I am not the cause of others feelings. I think he is aware of that too.

"I'm responsible for my own feels, so others are responsible for theirs."

Plus there is value to this relationship. I myself have learned more on not being overly guarded and I've learned other things that I wasn't very aware of in myself being with him. He compliments me on aspects that he likes about me; not just looks. I was more concerned about him AND the relationship and wasn't sure what to say back at the time being too.