Home Menu

Menu


Reply
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old Mar 31, 2015, 05:37 PM
Seeyalater Seeyalater is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Nov 2009
Posts: 230
Can anyone tell me how to deal with someone that is extremely stubborn?
My husband is so stubborn that I dont know how to get through to him.

advertisement
  #2  
Old Mar 31, 2015, 06:45 PM
Open Eyes's Avatar
Open Eyes Open Eyes is offline
Legendary Wise Elder
 
Member Since: Mar 2011
Location: Northeast USA
Posts: 23,279
Perhaps you may get more responses if you explain the ways he "is" stubborn Seeyalater.
Thanks for this!
Seeyalater
  #3  
Old Mar 31, 2015, 06:56 PM
Seeyalater Seeyalater is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Nov 2009
Posts: 230
He's mad at me and has been for almost two months. He said that I when we got married I was supposed to do all the wife duties. Originally, I would cook 3-4 times a week and he would do the same. He kicked me out of the house stating that since I didnt do those things seven days a week that have crushed him to pieces making him feel worthless. I have been back in the house for about a month but he is still holding a grudge against me for not doing the items he said I should be doing.
He is very stubborn and I think I have tried everything to get him to open up some. He said he still is so angry about me ruining the marriage. He is just so stubborn I dont know what else to do.
  #4  
Old Mar 31, 2015, 09:15 PM
Open Eyes's Avatar
Open Eyes Open Eyes is offline
Legendary Wise Elder
 
Member Since: Mar 2011
Location: Northeast USA
Posts: 23,279
Wow, he is so demanding. Hmm, makes me think of that saying, "The way to a man's heart is through his stomach", guess that is really important to your husband.

It was a big deal to my father too, my mother "hated" cooking and planning the meals, my father was always critical too so it was never rewarding for her. My mom developed dementia and never cooks anymore, I think that is most favorite thing of all, NO MORE COOKING.

Some cultures make it a big deal, don't know where you are or what culture you are part of.
  #5  
Old Apr 01, 2015, 12:06 AM
Seeyalater Seeyalater is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Nov 2009
Posts: 230
He was never like that. Just threw it in my face in February. After I was kicked out of the house. He said I should of know that I was suppose to automatically cook everyday. Now he says this is all your fault why the marrige is failing. Hes being so stubborn that I can't get through to him.
  #6  
Old Apr 01, 2015, 01:05 AM
madera23 madera23 is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Feb 2015
Location: california
Posts: 36
Quote:
Originally Posted by Seeyalater View Post
He's mad at me and has been for almost two months. He said that I when we got married I was supposed to do all the wife duties. Originally, I would cook 3-4 times a week and he would do the same. He kicked me out of the house stating that since I didnt do those things seven days a week that have crushed him to pieces making him feel worthless. I have been back in the house for about a month but he is still holding a grudge against me for not doing the items he said I should be doing.
He is very stubborn and I think I have tried everything to get him to open up some. He said he still is so angry about me ruining the marriage. He is just so stubborn I dont know what else to do.
Sorry to say, but it sounds like you are the stubborn.
you eat everyday so you have to cook everyday.
dont let your stubborness ruining your marriage,
  #7  
Old Apr 01, 2015, 08:09 AM
kelly8896's Avatar
kelly8896 kelly8896 is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Oct 2014
Location: Missouri
Posts: 64
Get with the times people. Where in the world does it say that the woman has to do all the cooking. Men, get off your lazy *sses, get with the program of today's world and be an equal partner in the relationship. That means he should be doing half the cooking, cleaning, laundry, yard work, etc. Unless you went into the marriage with an agreement of you doing "Wife" duties, marriage is a partnership and such, should be treated as one. There is no such thing as "wife" duties anymore. That is the most sexist, ignorant thing I've heard lately. Get yourself a real man that puts your needs before his own, joins you in marriage as an equal partner and loves you with all his heart. You deserve to have an equal partner, not a demoralizing person (can't call him a man-not acting like one) in your life.

Good luck!
Thanks for this!
Insignificant other, Open Eyes, Trippin2.0
  #8  
Old Apr 01, 2015, 09:11 AM
Seeyalater Seeyalater is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Nov 2009
Posts: 230
Quote:
Originally Posted by kelly8896 View Post
Get with the times people. Where in the world does it say that the woman has to do all the cooking. Men, get off your lazy *sses, get with the program of today's world and be an equal partner in the relationship. That means he should be doing half the cooking, cleaning, laundry, yard work, etc. Unless you went into the marriage with an agreement of you doing "Wife" duties, marriage is a partnership and such, should be treated as one. There is no such thing as "wife" duties anymore. That is the most sexist, ignorant thing I've heard lately. Get yourself a real man that puts your needs before his own, joins you in marriage as an equal partner and loves you with all his heart. You deserve to have an equal partner, not a demoralizing person (can't call him a man-not acting like one) in your life.

Good luck!

He was never like this before. That's why I'm shocked. Before we got married he did do some of the cooking. We've benmarried almoste two year bee together six. In February is when he kicked me out of the house. In March is when he told me that I didn't put hot meals on the table seven days a week so I made him feel worthless, that's I used him, because he made the money and I only worked part time. I am working on my master which is full time as well. I do the laundry, keep the house clean, and help its the yard work.
  #9  
Old Apr 01, 2015, 09:14 AM
Seeyalater Seeyalater is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Nov 2009
Posts: 230
My question is how do I get him to release his anger? He is so stubborn and thinks his reasons are right.
  #10  
Old Apr 01, 2015, 10:27 AM
kelly8896's Avatar
kelly8896 kelly8896 is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Oct 2014
Location: Missouri
Posts: 64
Seems to me you have a full time job with your master's alone, then working part time. Just because you aren't the bread winner doesn't mean you have the responsibility of the house chores. Remember marriage is a partnership.

Not sure what to tell you about getting him to release his anger and quit being so stubborn. Maybe there's something more bothering him and he's choosen to take it out on you by demoralizing you. If he wasn't that way before, then something has happened to make him step in that direction. Maybe counseling for himself and for both of you is a way to go.

I personally wouldn't stand for it.
Thanks for this!
Seeyalater
  #11  
Old Apr 01, 2015, 11:25 AM
Seeyalater Seeyalater is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Nov 2009
Posts: 230
Since last June I've been holding two part time jobs and my masters. Including the dinners and the household items.
Its now his stubbornness. That's what I need to know how to deal with.
  #12  
Old Apr 01, 2015, 12:01 PM
kelly8896's Avatar
kelly8896 kelly8896 is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Oct 2014
Location: Missouri
Posts: 64
I think some form of counseling would be good for both of you. It gives you both a 3rd party to talk to, a mediator to get you all talking and get to the root of the problem.

If counseling is out of the question, google how to deal with stubborn people, it gives you some ideas. Not sure what will or won't work, but it may be worth a try.

It's confusing that he all of a sudden decided to treat you this way. Has he experienced something traumatic in the last few months? Maybe a death of a loved one, gotten demoted at work or lost his job. Something happen out of his control that upset him. Sounds to me like he is trying to gain control of something and you happen to be the easiest target.
  #13  
Old Apr 01, 2015, 12:01 PM
Seeyalater Seeyalater is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Nov 2009
Posts: 230
Quote:
Originally Posted by kelly8896 View Post
Seems to me you have a full time job with your master's alone, then working part time. Just because you aren't the bread winner doesn't mean you have the responsibility of the house chores. Remember marriage is a partnership.

Not sure what to tell you about getting him to release his anger and quit being so stubborn. Maybe there's something more bothering him and he's choosen to take it out on you by demoralizing you. If he wasn't that way before, then something has happened to make him step in that direction. Maybe counseling for himself and for both of you is a way to go.

I personally wouldn't stand for it.

I believe its the job that has caused most of this. He has said it but then says its all me because of the dinners. I have tried to get him to go to a therapist along with myself. He refuses and says hes not crazy. Yet he has told me that he has a lot of mental issues going ion in his head. I love my husband and the stubbornness is killing the relationship. I'm trying to hang on but I really need to know how to work with his STUBBORNNESS!!!!!
  #14  
Old Apr 01, 2015, 08:14 PM
divine1966's Avatar
divine1966 divine1966 is offline
Legendary Wise Elder
 
Member Since: Dec 2014
Location: US
Posts: 23,150
I think there is way more than you not cooking diners, the fact that he purchased a house on his name only and made you sign your rights off tells me he has no plans to stay in this marriage forever. And kicking you out of the house? That's no good. I don't think he is stubborn he knows what's he doing

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Thanks for this!
eskielover
  #15  
Old Apr 01, 2015, 10:23 PM
Open Eyes's Avatar
Open Eyes Open Eyes is offline
Legendary Wise Elder
 
Member Since: Mar 2011
Location: Northeast USA
Posts: 23,279
Seeyalater, I began reading this thread and felt like you had the same story as another member. Well, I just checked and noticed you are the same person. Why do you have two threads going about the same problem?
Thanks for this!
eskielover
  #16  
Old Apr 01, 2015, 10:27 PM
Seeyalater Seeyalater is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Nov 2009
Posts: 230
Yes. The change is his employment, commuting, and he works for his step dad. I'm so glad I wasn't the bad one that ruined his life. At first it hurt me bad to hear him say horrible things to me. He hasn't been as bad now but if he starts I ignore him and he stops. Yes I to think the same. He is so unhappy with work that he's finding any little thing to bash h me for. That is so sad that people can not see their actions. He refuses therapy because he claims nothing is wrong with him. Because it's ALL ME!!
  #17  
Old Apr 01, 2015, 10:49 PM
RedEagle RedEagle is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Apr 2012
Posts: 111
Quote:
Originally Posted by Seeyalater View Post
He's mad at me and has been for almost two months. He said that I when we got married I was supposed to do all the wife duties. Originally, I would cook 3-4 times a week and he would do the same. He kicked me out of the house stating that since I didnt do those things seven days a week that have crushed him to pieces making him feel worthless.
I don't follow. So you used to cook 7 times a week but it dropped to 4 and as a result he kicked you out of the house and declared the marriage ruined? He must have some fixation on this particular issue which is good news, all you have to do is start cooking 7 times a week again and the entire problem is solved.
  #18  
Old Apr 01, 2015, 11:13 PM
Seeyalater Seeyalater is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Nov 2009
Posts: 230
Quote:
Originally Posted by RedEagle View Post
I don't follow. So you used to cook 7 times a week but it dropped to 4 and as a result he kicked you out of the house and declared the marriage ruined? He must have some fixation on this particular issue which is good news, all you have to do is start cooking 7 times a week again and the entire problem is solved.
NO!! I never cooked seven days a week. I would cook about three days a week,he would cook a couple days a week, and we would go out one day a week.
I. February he kicked me out. After two weeks of not knowing why he kicked me out. He told me it was because I didn't do my wife duties which would of been cooking7 days a week.
  #19  
Old Apr 01, 2015, 11:34 PM
RedEagle RedEagle is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Apr 2012
Posts: 111
Quote:
Originally Posted by Seeyalater View Post
NO!! I never cooked seven days a week. I would cook about three days a week,he would cook a couple days a week, and we would go out one day a week.
I. February he kicked me out. After two weeks of not knowing why he kicked me out. He told me it was because I didn't do my wife duties which would of been cooking7 days a week.
Oh, that's weird, you'd think he'd give you the chance to cook more often before just evicting you from the house and ending the marriage.
  #20  
Old Apr 01, 2015, 11:40 PM
divine1966's Avatar
divine1966 divine1966 is offline
Legendary Wise Elder
 
Member Since: Dec 2014
Location: US
Posts: 23,150
The day I found ok my husband bought a house on his name and made me sign my rights off would be the end of this marriage and I Am a pushover! And no one can kick anyone out of the house by the way unless legally evicted

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Thanks for this!
Seeyalater
Reply
Views: 1048

attentionThis is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.




All times are GMT -5. The time now is 11:51 PM.
Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2025, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.




 

My Support Forums

My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider.

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.