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#1
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she just doesn't get it.... my mom just stopped by my house and told me "your house is looking a little messy." Well, mom I'm sorry if my mental state right now won't let clean top to bottom, inside-out... up to YOUR standards of clean (she likes a spotless house that looks like no one lives there). I am sorry if I only slept for like a hour last night because you didn't pick up my meds like you said would and I hadn't had them in like a week because you didn't take me to get them refilled! You just don't realize what going without meds does to me. Hell, you think I lie to doctors and think I'm probably on meds that I shouldn't be on, because I "make up" illnesses.
I'm sorry if all I wanna do is crawl back in bed and cry until I pass out and then sleep all day, but that's part of depression, ya know? Oh wait, you dont know because you refuse to admit that I have depression or anything else. Oh yeah, and while I'm at it, I'm sorry that all I can think about now is how I have once again disappointed you by not cleaning! I'm sorry that I am a disappointment as a daughter and a failure as a human. I want so bad for you to understand that I am not "just being lazy" and how physically and mentally hard it is for me to focus on CLEANING when I feel like this. But you will never understand because you refuse to TRY to understand and accept it. You just dismiss it as laziness! And you wonder why I never talk to you about what is going on in my life......
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It is a miracle that I have survived thus far and I strive to help others see miracles in every day life.
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![]() Keyslost, winter4me, ~Christina
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#2
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Sounds like it is time for you to take over the getting of the medications etc----less dependence gives greater freedom, and a better chance of learning not to react to some else's standards. I had compulsive parents. It does hurt when what you have done is not noted, but what you have not...
What is important is satisfying yourself, and knowing yourself, so that you can become more comfortable in your own skin. You are not a failure. You are a survivor, with a life ahead of, and around you. Take care...of you. Mom is who she is, you can't change that, only how you deal with it. (easy to say, hard to do)
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"...don't say Home / the bones of that word mend slowly...' marie harris |
![]() JadeAmethyst
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#3
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I would love to, but I cant drive
__________________
It is a miracle that I have survived thus far and I strive to help others see miracles in every day life.
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#4
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Hey Miracle, I had to deal with something like this too. Something clicked and now my fam actually believes me idk what made the difference? I'm sorry it's still for you like it was for me prior. (did that make sense?) Having to depend on someone b/c of outside factors suuuucks. People gave/give me crap for it and I'm starting to not listen but it's still hard with all those negative voices. People will assume you had the life they did so "what's wrong with you" or what you "should" be doing. I used to want to sleep all day too or stay in bed b/c why bother? Then I started doing things for me not them. Try to remember why you matter. I think having boundaries will help too and you're on the way to success with your own place
![]() What also has helped is telling people when they go to far (kind of already said this), but more specifically they didn't always know when they pushed my buttons they were just honestly trying to help. Reminding them can help keep communication open and help you feel secure. Hope this helps! ![]() |
![]() JadeAmethyst
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#5
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Walk, Even if it is a 20 mile walk. Once you show once that you are willing to do it very often things like that stop becoming a source of control. Or at the very least you have your meds and allot of soreness.
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#6
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Are mail order prescriptions a possibility for you?
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#7
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What would happen if you were to ask, if she'd like to help you clean up, your'little messy'?
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#8
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Well, you know what they say, a clean house is a sign of a wasted life....
But seriously, a spotless house that doesn't appear lived in? If anything, turn it around and feel sorry for her---that she places perfect cleanliness above more important things in life. |
#9
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Can you walk? Ride a bicycle? Any public transport? A friend?
Are you too young to drive?
__________________
"...don't say Home / the bones of that word mend slowly...' marie harris |
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