ARGH!!!!

Just got off the phone with my brother. He said our dad is sick and needs to go to the doctor so I need to call him when I get off work in the morning. If I call he will go. I might have to threaten to drive up there and take him myself but in the end he will go.

This is completely frustrating to me and to my brother and we don't know how to change it. Our dad is great. He is truly the only reason I made it out of my childhood alive. BUT he does this thing(and he's aware it happens) where he WILL NOT listen to my brother. My brother says "Dad go to the doctor." dad says no he's fine. My brother tells him "Dad that's a one way street don't turn." Dad turns anyway. My brother tells our dad "Sign up for online banking so you stop overdrawing your account." Dad doesn't listen.

I say "Jump!" and our dad says "Yes darling how long do you need me to jump?" Ok maybe it's not that bad but almost. I've pointed this out to our dad. My brother has pointed it out to him and he admits he does it but has no idea why. AND it doesn't stop.

It seriously hurts my brother's feelings and makes him feel like our dad loves me more. I do know that my dad lives in fear of setting off my bipolar because of the stuff he put up with from my mom. SO I don't know if it's simply that he's afraid not to listen to me and my brother is so peaceful that he ignores him. Any other ideas why he might do this and how to change the dynamic??? I'm tired of seeing that hurt puppy look on my baby brother's face when our dad does something because I ask once and my brother has asked a hundred times and been ignored.

that is interesting..........the only thing that comes up for me is, how was your dad's relationship with HIS mom? is it a male vs female thing? like are women on pedestals in his eyes to where he has grown up feeling he has to respect women and what they say and maybe relationships with men dont have that same importance.

your idea re: bipolar and not wanting to upset you is a good one too.

Maybe your dad is showing respect to the older sibling? My mother only obeys my older brother. Her doctor yelled at ME cuz he thought i was making her take supplements that were hurting her kidneys. Noooo - my brother told her to take the supplements, but then i had to take her to the doctor. Fml. at least i appreciate you feeling bad over the favoritism, thanks!!

We all had dinner Friday night. Turns out that he was having an allergy flair up and had an ear infection. Yet again my brother was like I told you to go to the doctor BUT NO!!!!! Not until sissy told you to go.

Our dad sighed and said I know I know. Then he shrugged and said maybe it's that my dad never listened to me or the fact that I feel horrible for not taking you kids and leaving your mom sooner. He started to cry a little and told my brother that his biggest regret in life was not sticking up for me more when I was growing up. Then he also said that I was so stubborn there was no point in not listening because if I said it IT was going to happen and it's easier to give in than fight.

It just kills me that he's aware of it but still can't stop it

And Hankster favoritism has always gotten my dander up. All it does is hurt feelings and it's just not right or fair.