I'm basically helpless

If my family ever decides to stop putting up with my stupid bullcrap I'm pretty much screwed. I'll end up dying in a gutter alone clutching a bottle of cheap whiskey.

Are you wanting to get a handle on your drinking? If so..... do something about it. Get into treatment. AA is available to anyone.

If your not interested in getting sober and taking responsibilty for keeping a roof over your head or paying rent.. Then you need to figure what to do if push comes to shove and you do in fact wind up on the street.

I hope your able to find a direction in your life.

Actually Christina the "Bottle of cheap whiskey" was just hyperbole I drink maybe 1-2 days a week. However I do have a problem being responsible in other ways. For example I am procrastinating right now on getting my resume sent out for a new job. I am such self sabotager...if that's a word. I'm still living at home right now and what scares me is that on at least one level I'm not that upset about it, but I know that I need to be more independent, I'm just letting life pass me by.

It's also that I've lost my direction in life recently, I should just take a full time job but I have a degree and I have been to graduate school, though I didn't get my masters degree (that's a story I've written some about in other posts on the forums). I am also probably sentimental about my parents house to a degree that is unhealthy. I work part time at a job that sort of lets me use some of the knowledge and skills I have, but it's part time for a non-profit organization so I'm not making much money. I also have trouble staying focused at work, if my boss was less lenient I'd probably be unemployed.