But i wasn't ready for it.

I chose to end my engagement today because I really am not ready to settle down. I wanted to be really bad. Wanted everything to fall into place so easily but.. its not what i really want and i think that a small part of me has known that for a while and not wanted to face the truth. Was the hardest thing I think I have ever had to do. I literally almost got sick because it hurt so much to see him in pain but.. I can't pretend to feel something I don't feel.

I do love him, I just didn't realize that I loved him in a different way, because I didn't give it enough time. A month is such a short time, and I definetly think I've learned something from this.

I feel the need to stand on my own two feet - to get off my ***, get a job and live life instead of just settling because it is easy.

God knows though im pretty shook up over the whole thing.

*sigh*

thanks faye. this is really killing my anxiety, its nice to see a positive response.

[seeker1950]

That took a lot of courage! I applaud you for it! You made the right decision!
Patty

thanks seeker. right now its hard to see but i know your right.

[sabby]

(((((((Rainbowzz))))))))))

As we talked in chat earlier....you did the right thing by listening to your gut and going with what it was telling you. You were being a far better friend to your ex than either one of you can imagine right now. The fact that you had the courage to stand your ground will save the both of you a lot of heartache and pain in the future if you were to marry for all the wrong reasons.

Who says this has to be the end? Maybe in time you will realize that he was the one for you. If your relationship was meant to be, it will come around again. If not, then you can pick up the pieces, learn from the experience and move on in your life.

It sounds like you are trying hard to get your priorities in line...Good For You!!! You go girl

In the meantime, I'm sorry you are hurting right now. I know it's never easy to say goodbye....there is always a sense of loss and what ifs to run through your heart and head.

*Gentle Hugs*
J

[Wants2Fly]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
seeker1950 said:
That took a lot of courage! I applaud you for it! You made the right decision!
Patty

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

I'm sorry you are feeling shook up right now.

[sidony]

Hi Rainbowzz....

You did the right thing. If you're not ready for marriage, don't go into it! I saw my sister jump into a marriage before she was ready, and it ended in a very painful divorce. You have to make sure that the time is right and that it's what you want! It's awful to see someone in pain, but it'd be much worse if you went ahead and married him and then decided you wanted out. I bet you'll know when the time is right....

Take care and don't beat yourself up for doing what was right for you.

Sidony