[CosmicRose]

Due to my anxiety issues I pushed him away a lot. The sad thing is that he was perfect for me. He's deployed right now and I miss him every day. When I broke up with him, he said "You know, I was really good for you." I still cringe when I think about that because he was right. I've left four messages in the past five months on his phone that he's been deployed asking for a second chance. Before he left he was willing to give me another chance but then as his deployment got closer and closer he said he was too busy and we never got to hang out. I was so oblivious to his feelings when we dated, I'm really ashamed about that.

I let my shortcomings get in the way of our relationship. I don't know if he's willing to give me another chance when he gets home but I really hope so. The crushing guilt of being a bad girlfriend to such a good guy because of my mental issues really hurts. Can't believe I was so stupid. He said something like, "I guess you're just not ready/willing to give me what I need in this relationship" after I told him I didn't want to be in a relationship.

He did everything for me and I put in 50%, if that. I'll have to live with this for the rest of my life if he comes home and finds another girlfriend. My mental issues have caused so many hiccups and bumps in my life. I feel like I'm not even able to be the person I actually am deep inside because of my anxiety and depression and all that other bull. Just wanted to vent this because its been haunting me all week. Thanks for listening.

[CANDC]

Cosmic rose I have had regrets in relationships and tended to blame myself entirely for the breakup. There must have been something bothering you. It may not be easy to remember. Every relationship I have been in has taught me something.

I had a therapist to talk to. It helped me get over the guilt and get ready to move on. If you really are meant to be with him, then it will happen. Working with a therapist will help make it clear the way to go.

[CosmicRose]

Well there was something bothering me during the relationship. We lived 1 hr 30 mins away and because my car wasn't very good he was the one who always had to drive to see me, which got a little hard after awhile. Also, he was extremely extroverted and I am introverted. I always felt like I had to "catch up" to him on a personality level. He was so active and outgoing, and I'm more reserved and chill. I was attracted to him because of that but it also got a little challenging for me at times, and early on in the relationship I started to feel like I wasn't good enough, but that's my own insecurity.

[Jaded028]

Hi Cosmic Rose,

I am in exactly the same situation as you are, the only difference being that my boyfriend ended our relationship. I totally understand how you are feeling. My boyfriend was a very social person, something I hoped would rub off on me, but in the end I just found it intimidating and it made me even more insecure. While I was so wrapped up in my own low moods I didn’t even realise what I was putting him through and that he had his own worries that he was trying to cope with on his own. I'm so ashamed at how I behaved.

Like you I feel that my mental health issues have always pulled me away from the positive things in my life. Deep down I know that I am a good person, but my insecurities seem to take priority and I become someone I don't even recognise. I'm trying to look at it all as a wake up call, so I am starting counselling next week in the hope of finally finding out why I am the way I am and some way of living a happier life.

You sound like a lovely person. Try to remember that and not beat yourself up so much about what has happened. I truly hope that you can reconnect with him and if not you that find happiness in yourself.

[quietincrowd]

Cosmic Rose,
Being a person on the other side of the relationship I can say communicate what you feel. If you have trouble saying the words, write them down. If you feel this strongly about him you should say so. I know the person I care for struggles and while at times I feel at a loss for what to do, I can only hold onto what was shared with me, providing that with patience and consistency.
If you are not as outgoing, maybe sharing that will help you two strike a balance. If you are honest about what you can give and what you want to achieve, it gives them an understanding of your position and what direction you can move it.
Although communication is the toughest thing sometimes, if there is respect and care between you both, you may find it will work out. And if not, while it is sad, you have learned some things in the relationship and know in your heart you gave it a shot!
You sound like a lovely person and you are very much worthy of someone who will love and respect you!
Good Luck!