Seeking Marriage Advice

I have just spent another sleepless night because of feeling worthless and unlovable. My husband's communication skills have always sucked. Mine weren't so great either, but I've been in therapy and really want to make things better. He's come to T with me 2 times. T suggested we see a marriage counselor but he refuses. He makes me feel like the only one with issues and it's great that I go to T but he doesn't need to change. At first he made some attempts but we are back to square one and I am back to feeling alone and worthless. Last night he became angry at me because I asked to many questions about plans that he made to go out with my in laws. I asked where we were going and what should i wear. I thought they were reasonable questions. He was irritated because he didn't have time to ask and he didn't know. I asked if he could please find out so I could be prepared. It turned out to be a fight and he is now giving me the silent treatment again. He is a good man ,works hard, and is great with our kids. He just doesn't see me. I am last on his list. I go weeks without attention. Haven't heard a compliment or something sweet in a long time. I feel like I am living with a room mate. He knows all of this and yet won't get help because he sees it as my problem. There is more but it's too painful to admit. I am very patient and affectionate with him but I don't get that back. He gets mad that I come on here but I tell him I am lonely with him sitting across the room not caring to interact. Has anyone been to marriage counseling? Did it work for communication? How do I get him to want to go? He thinks I just emotional and I will get over it. tHANK YOU

My husband drives me totally insane sometimes.
I am convinced men and women think completely different.

I want to add more, but someone just told me to go get ready for my appointment.Love you and cannot wait to discuss this in-depth.

Like, your husbands main goal is to take care of you and your kids. Seeing you get help from others like me, may seem threatening to him.

I shall return with more words of wisdom later

PS
Keep in mind I know nothing about relationships. I have been winging it for over 20 years

now you tell me????

I went through something very very similar with my husband who is now my ex. He went to therapy twice and then told me he didnt love me like a wife anymore and only loved me like a best friend (wish he had even treated me as a best friend). Right there I stopped the couples therapy and said we were done...part of me wonders what would have happened if we had continued therapy since it brought up some very valid points.

I would keep at him about the marriage counseling. Have you also considered if he is suffering from depression? My hubby was but didnt get help till after we split. Feel free to pm me hun, there is more to my story as well which is too painful to admit which I would share in pm.

Big Hugs!!!! I know exactly how you are feeling and you are not worthless and unlovable. He is the one missing boat on a terrific lady.

StayC yes I believe he has depression and anxiety. He had a rough childhood and he is not expressive. I always knew he wasn't a great communicator but I thought in time I could change that with love and understanding!!! It's 25 yrs later and he hasn't changed all that much. I will encourage him again to get the help we/he needs. he chooses to numb himself with scotch and the occasional ativan. This leaves me out and alone! I am always here if u need me also. Would love to hear your story if its not to painful. I believe I can learn from others experiences! thanks