Emotional Conflict in a Relationship????

I don't see a big deal here. There is absolutely nothing wrong with pot on it's own and pot is the least destructive drug you can possibly do. If she isn't letting pot come in between your relationship, I don't see why you have to make such a big deal out of her pot use. If you really loved her you would accept this part about her. It's cool to tell her how you feel and try to come to some kind of compromise but judging her and forcing her to change seems to be a bit unfair to me. If you're that bothered by her pot use then chances are she isn't a good match for you.

Honestly, cigarettes, alcohol, and prescription drugs kill more people annually than all of the illegal drugs combined so I don't see anything wrong with letting her have her pot. If it makes her happy and she isn't hurting anybody else than who the hell cares? Let the poor girl have her pot.

Not to mention, pot has proven health benefits and is even listed on PC under the "alternative treatments" section as a rated 6/10 treatment method so perhaps maybe you should be a tad bit more open minded?

First and foremost I do love this woman and I can see myself getting married again in time. The most important thing here is that I despise drug use, I can't live with it and it would be very hard for me to tolerate it in my life. My job doesn't allow it and with my job I see the destructive powers of drug use everyday.

Marijuana is an illegal drug and for anyone to say it's not that bad and that it's ok only reiterates my beliefs and every day experiences. When you let down your morals and do something you know is wrong, you open yourself up to experiment with other things. Also, how do you ask your children to do the right thing when you yourself are doing illegal things. Kind of a bad way to parent and be a positive role model to others wouldn't you say??

My conflict here wasn't her use but if I could live with it and I chose to tell her I couldn't because of my beliefs and morals. I told her I didn't want her to choose to stop for me if it would cause issues between us later. I was willing to walk away and came very close to doing just that even though I loved her so very much.

I listened to her excuses, it's not that bad, it has health benefits??? All excuses to justify her use which she knew was wrong. You can't hide it from your kids either because they can smell it, they see the solitude you do to try and hide it. You alienate yourself. My girlfriend tried to be open and honest but she caught herself trying to hide it from me and that's when she decided that maybe she was addicted to something that had a hold on her. She was getting up early and doing it before her kids got up and felt she had to do it to function. She see's the grip it had on her which only opened her eye's.

Since my last post my girlfriend has overcome two great tests. She was able to abstain from using when with her using friends. Big hurdle there!! She was so happy to tell me she had done so well. Her next test was giving up her supple which she did this week at her friendly girlfriend garage talk time. To me that is a positive and shows me she wants to make me happy and loves me enough to give up something she knew wouldn't allow me to be a part of her life.

Are there worse things she could be doing?? Yes, but if she were doing those I would have left a long time ago. My love for her and her love towards me have helped her get a foothold over something that she has let control her for a long time. I'm just glad she see's the control her marijuana use had over her and how it was effecting her relationship with her children. I've never had an addiction so it's hard for me to truly see her struggle but I'm here to support her anyway I can. That's because of my love for her. I still struggle with the possibility that she will relapse and I've tried to prepare for that because it will happen. I want to trust her and I don't want to be kissing her just to see if she's been smoking. I have to tell myself all the time to not hope for the worst and be ready to walk away at the first misstep. That's not fair to her. I'm trying every day but to this point she has done an awesome job and I am so happy for her and love her more each day for her communication and love and willingness to try.

Just because something is illegal doesn't mean that it's morally wrong to do it. Pot does have health benefits to it and every pot user that I've known (most of my friends do it) are some of the nicest and most harmless people that I've known. Many states see that I'm right and are beginning to legalize it so honestly, I still fail to see why you feel so strongly about the topic.

Fact is, the most deadly drugs are legal. Prescriptions alone kill more people annually than all of the illegal drugs combined and cigarettes and alcohol have similar statistics. Not to mention, pot cannot be patented unlike the legal stuff so there is no money to be made off it which is the only reason why it's illegal in many parts of the world.

Consider yourself lucky, every stoner that I've ever known of (especially those from the hippy crowd) would consider their partner trying to force them to stop as grounds for separation (I would do the same thing) Pot is a way of life for these people so telling them to quit would be out of the question. Unless she is spending all of her money on pot and it is interfering with her holding a job or something else major, I feel sorry for her and I think that it's selfish and heartless of you to try to give her an ultimatum like that. I'm sorry to be so blunt, but I feel bad for her.

Then again, I believe that people should be allowed to do whatever they want as long as it doesn't hurt anybody else or infringe on their freedoms. I see the law as a general guideline and not something that has to be obeyed. Just because somebody breaks the law doesn't make them a bad person; it makes them human.

Well thank you for your comments and maybe your right but personally if anyone would choose a drug over anything else in there life, is just sad. When you let something control your everyday actions and force you to hide your issue from others, it's morally wrong. I'm glad that my girlfriend is at least trying and she will have my support. I owe that too her.

If she would have told me in the beginning that she smoked marijuana I wouldn't have continued to date her and I would have told her then, because that's not my thing. I would have told her to find someone who was into that sort of thing but she didn't tell me until months later when I smelled it on her breath. That's when she came forward and told me. She hid the fact that she smoked it everyday until later. I was lead to believe it was an occasional thing because she was hiding it's control over her.

Smoking marijuana long term is not healthy for you. I'm not trying to control my girlfriend, I just gave her a choice. If she wanted to continue to have a relationship with me then she had to give that up. It was her decision to try and I'm thankful for that, that's all I could ask for, from her. If it works out, time will tell. I hope it does because she is awesome and we are awesome together. I would certainly be heart broken if she chose a drug over me but I would have to move on and continue my life.

Most people, just like you, only see the happy side and the mellow side of the drug. Go to a drug treatment facility or see kids in your neighborhood have there lives destroyed by drugs. Ask them how they got started into the drug life and I bet the majority of them say they started with marijuana and it lead to other, more harmful drugs that destroy lives. I personally lost a family member to drugs and where do you think it started? Marijuana, because they let down there morals and did something that was thought to not be all that bad, then something else wasn't all that bad, next thing you know, there trapped. It's a sad thing but unlike you. I am and have been effected differently by drug use so it's a different belief to me.

The "gateway drug" argument is the most baseless and illogical argument that one could use. Just because some dumb kids are experimenting with marijuana and choose to do a hard drug doesn't make marijuana the problem nor does it mean that all users move to hard drugs. It's not the fault of marijuana itself but the person using it.

Fact is, marijuana on it's own has a host of positive benefits if it is used by a responsible adult in MODERATION. Marijuana on it's own is harmless. In fact, that's why in states that marijuana is legal in, it's only legal for adults 21 and over. That is also why most states allow medicinal marijuana to be prescribed to qualifying medical patients; it's been scientifically proven to have health benefits and is even considered to be a form of medicine for those with anxiety, chronic pain, or even cancer. Do your research and open your mind.

If we use the "gateway drug" argument if one would even call it that to every day life, then people shouldn't hunt animals for food because they would move to humans later on or people shouldn't use legally prescribed prescription drugs because they might become addicted to them and abuse them as a result. See how illogical this sounds?

Sorry to sound harsh with you, it's not my intention to be mean. Certain things just have a tendency to set me off.

Sounds like she's doing great especially the giving up her stash. Happy for you

If someone doesn't want pot smoking partner it is ridiculous to tell them that pot is great. If someone has red flag about something who cares if someone else loves it or thinks it's great. It's just bizarre.

If I don't want a drinker what do I care if someone on PC jugs a liter of vodka daily? I know people who can't stand to be with smokers but I don't care, should I lecture them how they should be ok with smokers? That's just disrespectful.

Op doesn't want pot smoking girlfriend. Who cares if everyone else smokes pot and loves it. This thread turned into a total nonsense

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I merely had to sate my impulse to put some superior logic into OP because his reasoning seemed dumbfounded at the time. I was also kind of angry at something in my personal life when I wrote my posts so pardon me.

I'll be a good little boy and back off

Thanks, that was kind of what I was trying to express but your post expressed it a whole lot better. I'm doing great, my girlfriend is doing great and I couldn't be any happier. Just glad she had the willingness to at least try. She is doing great and she is so happy with here decision and that's the true winner in this.

I am glad things are going well.

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