[Angelwngs25]

I'm bisexual and I have been in 3 relationships with 3 different women and they all have treated me like poop under their feet. My current girlfriend is Bipolar and pretty much not on meds and she hasn't talked to me since the 4th of July. I am looking for a new girlfriend that will just date me and not have to be friends first. No woman wants me. I guess I'm undesirable. I would ask if anyone on here wants to date but that's probably against the rules. I have tried everything. Dating sites, fellow bisexual friends. Nothing. I'm really lonely and I want a woman. Someone please talk to me. I'm not feeling very good emotionally right now.

[eskielover]

Noticed on your profile that you are dealing with BPD.....do you have a T that you are working with on your issues?

Maybe some of the issues that are part of your BPD are making it difficult for others to have a meaningful relationship with you. Maybe those issues need to be worked on & fixed so that you can have meaningful relationships with others.

Just curious about your signature & your wedding date & yet your looking to date???? That doesn't make any sense in my mind no matter what label you have placed on yourself.

[scorpiosis37]

It sounds like you have a male fiancé and a current girlfriend and yet you are looking for another one? It sounds like your plate is already full. Do you and your fiancé have an open relationship? If you are poly and are open about everything and everyone is on board that's cool. However, I imagine most women who are looking for a relationship are looking for someone who is not already in two other relationships. Maybe it would be helpful to figure out why your current relationships are not satisfying you and end one or both of those before pursuing a third relationship. If you really want someone to be devoted to you, you have to have enough of yourself to give to that person in return. It sounds like you might already have your hands full. Rather than adding more right away, resolve some of the difficulties in your existing relationships.

[Angelwngs25]

Originally Posted by eskielover

Noticed on your profile that you are dealing with BPD.....do you have a T that you are working with on your issues?

Maybe some of the issues that are part of your BPD are making it difficult for others to have a meaningful relationship with you. Maybe those issues need to be worked on & fixed so that you can have meaningful relationships with others.

Just curious about your signature & your wedding date & yet your looking to date???? That doesn't make any sense in my mind no matter what label you have placed on yourself.

I am Polyamorous. That's why I am engaged and still looking to date a woman.

[Angelwngs25]

Originally Posted by scorpiosis37

It sounds like you have a male fiancé and a current girlfriend and yet you are looking for another one? It sounds like your plate is already full. Do you and your fiancé have an open relationship? If you are poly and are open about everything and everyone is on board that's cool. However, I imagine most women who are looking for a relationship are looking for someone who is not already in two other relationships. Maybe it would be helpful to figure out why your current relationships are not satisfying you and end one or both of those before pursuing a third relationship. If you really want someone to be devoted to you, you have to have enough of yourself to give to that person in return. It sounds like you might already have your hands full. Rather than adding more right away, resolve some of the difficulties in your existing relationships.

My current girlfriend never talks to me and I am still waiting to see if things get better with her. She never talks to me hence I am looking for another relationship with a woman. And if I find a woman that seems more interested in me than my current girlfriend seems to be I will ditch my girlfriend that never talks to me and get with the other person. I do not want to be walked all over like my current girlfriend is doing to me by not caring enough to talk.

Does your fiance know you are in relationships with other people? What does he have to say about that?

[A Red Panda]

If you aren't happy with the gf - then break up with her. Don't start looking for something else while you haven't cut ties with her yet. You're complaining about her treating you like s*** but you are treating her like a piece of s*** too.

Polyamorous relationships are definitely harder to find and establish than other relationships. I think the fact that you're engaged might even hinder some others - not everyone will be ok with participating in an unequal relationship.

What does your fiance think about your current gf and the fact that you're looking for another one behind her back?

[scorpiosis37]

Originally Posted by Angelwngs25

My current girlfriend never talks to me and I am still waiting to see if things get better with her. She never talks to me hence I am looking for another relationship with a woman. And if I find a woman that seems more interested in me than my current girlfriend seems to be I will ditch my girlfriend that never talks to me and get with the other person. I do not want to be walked all over like my current girlfriend is doing to me by not caring enough to talk.

For polyamory to work, it requires open and honest communication among all partners. Looking for someone else behind your gf's back is not really being open or honest. If the relationship is not working, then you need to communicate that to her. Tell her that you feel she is not talking to you and ask for more of her time-- or break up with her. Looking for someone else behind her back is a pretty shady and immature thing to do. It is not healthy to stay in one relationship while looking for another. You really need to resolve things with this gf BEFORE you start looking for another. It's not fair to your current gf and it would be unfair to any future gf. How can you ask more of a new gf than you are willing to offer to any of your partners? If you aren't being respectful of them, how can you ask them to be respectful of you? No one who is healthy is going to be okay entering into a relationship with you while you are still involved with other people with whom you are not being honest and have not resolved your business.

[eskielover]

Does your fiance even know about this or does he just think you have a GF you hang around with. Or did this current GF just figure out what place she found herself in with you & maybe that's why she's not talking to you????

The thing is that the treatment you give others comes back to get you in the end & if you aren't open & respectful to them....they aren't going to return good treatment to you....sounds like you are playing with fire & complaining about getting burnt.

[Angelwngs25]

Originally Posted by lolagrace

Does your fiance know you are in relationships with other people? What does he have to say about that?

Yes, my Fiance knows I have a girlfriend and he really doesn't care as long as I'm happy.

[Angelwngs25]

Originally Posted by A Red Panda

If you aren't happy with the gf - then break up with her. Don't start looking for something else while you haven't cut ties with her yet. You're complaining about her treating you like s*** but you are treating her like a piece of s*** too.

Polyamorous relationships are definitely harder to find and establish than other relationships. I think the fact that you're engaged might even hinder some others - not everyone will be ok with participating in an unequal relationship.

What does your fiance think about your current gf and the fact that you're looking for another one behind her back?

It's kinda hard to break up with someone that won't even answer the phone. And in Polyamory there are no unequal relationships, everybody is equal.

He thinks she's a crazy woman because she's Bipolar too and practically not on meds and that she's not worth dating since she won't talk to me. And he doesn't think there is anything wrong with me finding another girlfriend behind her back since she won't talk to me anyways.

[Angelwngs25]

Originally Posted by scorpiosis37

For polyamory to work, it requires open and honest communication among all partners. Looking for someone else behind your gf's back is not really being open or honest. If the relationship is not working, then you need to communicate that to her. Tell her that you feel she is not talking to you and ask for more of her time-- or break up with her. Looking for someone else behind her back is a pretty shady and immature thing to do. It is not healthy to stay in one relationship while looking for another. You really need to resolve things with this gf BEFORE you start looking for another. It's not fair to your current gf and it would be unfair to any future gf. How can you ask more of a new gf than you are willing to offer to any of your partners? If you aren't being respectful of them, how can you ask them to be respectful of you? No one who is healthy is going to be okay entering into a relationship with you while you are still involved with other people with whom you are not being honest and have not resolved your business.

It's hard to break up with someone that won't answer your calls. If you were in my shoes, you would probably see it differently. We really aren't even dating anymore to be honest that's obvious since she won't talk to me. You can't date someone and not talk to them at the same time.

[Angelwngs25]

Originally Posted by eskielover

Does your fiance even know about this or does he just think you have a GF you hang around with. Or did this current GF just figure out what place she found herself in with you & maybe that's why she's not talking to you????

The thing is that the treatment you give others comes back to get you in the end & if you aren't open & respectful to them....they aren't going to return good treatment to you....sounds like you are playing with fire & complaining about getting burnt.

My Fiance knows I am dating this girlfriend and he doesn't care. She already knew about the relationship I'm in with my Fiance before we even started dating.

I am not playing with even a little match. My girlfriend if that's what you want to call her hasn't talked to me except on text for a little bit, for over a week. Can I really even say she's my girlfriend? I mean she practically broke up with me right there just by not even talking to me.

[scorpiosis37]

Originally Posted by Angelwngs25

It's hard to break up with someone that won't answer your calls. If you were in my shoes, you would probably see it differently. We really aren't even dating anymore to be honest that's obvious since she won't talk to me. You can't date someone and not talk to them at the same time.

You can text her something like: "Since you are choosing not to communicate with me, I need to end this relationship and move on." Then you have acted responsibly and done nothing behind her back. I once did date a woman (monogamously) who was not available enough for me. After trying to meet up with her in person to end the relationship and her not making time for that meeting, I ended up breaking up with her via email. I needed to let her know it was over before I could feel okay about moving on.

In polyamory, relationships are not always equal. Almost everyone I know has a primary partner (who they are usually legally married to and live with) and then additional partners who they do not marry and do not live with. Your fiancé sounds like he is primary partner. Your relationship with him sounds much more significant than your relationship with the girlfriend who you do not talk to.

[A Red Panda]

It can't be equal when you're marrying one of them - that's a distinction of difference. Is your fiance also seeing others?

And, one week of little/no communication isn't unheard of when you're just dating.

[divine1966]

When you do things behind people's back it is not being polyamorous but simply cheating. If she doesn't answer the phone leave her a message/ text/email that you are done.

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[eskielover]

In polyamory, relationships are not always equal. Almost everyone I know has a primary partner (who they are usually legally married to and live with) and then additional partners who they do not marry and do not live with.

Otherwise known as adultery.

[divine1966]

Originally Posted by eskielover

Otherwise known as adultery.

That's true but I think if everyone is up front about it and all in agreement then perhaps it's not. If people are honest. I agree it becomes adultery and cheating when things are in secret.

I have a concern about every woman treating op like poop. If every person treated me badly I'd try to get to the bottom of it. I think it is more valid concern than how to find a new partner. Also the fact that you are engaged and have a girlfriend yet claim to be lonely. I am not sure it could be fixed by getting yet another partner. Something is off

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[eskielover]

Curious, does your fiance UNDERSTAND what is really involved in this GF relationships you are wanting? I mean, it's NORMAL for women to have GF's to get together with & to do things with & to hang out with....but that's NOT dating.

Just wondering if your fiance is fully aware of the what is meant in your terminology of GF & what you are getting out of the relationship? A lot of times people just assume that someone means something because it's a term they have always used in a different way......just curious if he really "gets it"

How are things going now?