I'm sure that some of you on here have been to meetup groups. If any of you happen to issues with anxiety, social phobia, being shy, introverted, or not doing well in large groups of strangers, then maybe you'll be able to relate to this story. Or have some of your own. Which I wouldn't mind hearing about-

Some of us know how cliquey and unfriendly some groups can be, but omg, what happened last night was one of the worst meetup experiences that I've had in years aside from having to deal with one nigthmare of an organizer who ended up yelling at everyone to cough up more money when there wasn't enough to pay a huge dinner bill!

Anyways, I hate having my pic taken. Especially since I'm heavy now. I gained a lot of weight over the years. So once the organizer whipped out her camera, I went to the ladies room. It was past the table, so I couldn't be discreet about it, ugh.

I thought that I dodged a bullet, but I got a little anxious when I heard a ton of laughter when I was gone, and when I came back, they were a lot quieter as if they were talking **** about me leaving just then.

Well, I thought things were OK then, but that woman is camera crazy, and was determined to get everyone, ugh! WTH? So she didn't even warn anyone this time, she just whipped out the camera. So I had to get up and leave. I was in the corner, so I just left my seat. I didn't think that was rude. Or was it? Idk.

She then tried to bug me to be in it. I then said no thanks, that I don't like having my pic taken. She then gave up and then took lots of pics of the group and at one point had the manager of the place take a bunch of group pics despite it being a very busy night. To me, that was rude, to take up his time like that for a bunch of stupid pics. I should've offered to take the pics, but I wasn't thinking straight then.

Well, the worse thing is that after dinner, I was almost 100% completely ignored by the women who were previously talking to me! They had their backs turned away from me! WTH? I was hurt!

And all of this was because I refused to have my pic taken? I don't get it! What's so offensive about that? I told them that I don't like having my pic taken, and one lady next to me seemed to understand where I was coming from as she told me that she never looks good in pics either, and she even made some sort of funny comments about it and how her husband was the one who was always photogenic!

I tried to make a graceful exit, but it's hard to do when everyone is ignoring you. Their body language was very obvious. Every one of them had their backs turned towards me, and they were trying hard to ignore me. There was no mistake about it! They talked to everyone but me! Maybe I should'e just gotten up and left after the bill was paid. No one would've cared probably. I finally made as graceful as a goodbye as I could. One lady that I was talking to rudely looked at my body as I was leaving. WTH? She never did that until then. Why would anyone do that?

The organizer then said that she hopes to see me at other groups, but I got a weird vibe from her and the whole group as if they didn't want me there anymore. This other lady told me to drive safely which was odd since I had nothing to drink. After I got home, I left the group. Ugh!

Why would these women be so rude and react so negatively towards me after being nice at first just for NOT wanting to be in a group photo? It's my body, my choice! I'd appreciate any insight onto why people would react so negatively to me just for that!

I wasn't rude or anything, so I don't get why I'd be ostracized for this! Ugh!

[Know One]

Cats are better than most people.

You kind of answered your own question. Do what I do - stay home and hug your cats.

[divine1966]

They sound very annoying. I belong to two meetup groups and never experienced anything like this. Unless it was your perception they were unfriendly? Hard to tell. Saying that some of the comments don't mean much like I always wish people drive safely. That's not a big deal for me

I don't see it a big deal that you didn't want your pic taken. Why do they care

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Originally Posted by Know One

You kind of answered your own question. Do what I do - stay home and hug your cats.

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Ha ha. That's what my husband told me to do, he couldn't quite understand why I'd even go to these meetups if I wanted to avoid having my pic taken. He told me that I was the one with THE issue, NOT them.

He told me that I'm NOT normal to say no to having your picture taken no matter what. I told him that it's MY right to say NO! He told me that it makes me appear rude, unfriendly, and stuck up! Ugh!

I'm NOT that way at all! Things were going fine up until then! They were NICE up until then! Why should I do something that clearly makes me very, very uncomfortable? I shouldn't have to succumb to peer presssure in order to fit in and be liked IMHO!

What is this? Jr. High all over again! Ugh! I politely said no. If they're going to think that I'm "weird" or "unfriendly" just for that, then they aren't the kind of people that I want to be around. One polite no should be fine. I shouldn't be harassed to be in a picture!

Originally Posted by divine1966

They sound very annoying. I belong to two meetup groups and never experienced anything like this. Unless it was your perception they were unfriendly? Hard to tell. Saying that some of the comments don't mean much like I always wish people drive safely. That's not a big deal for me

I don't see it a big deal that you didn't want your pic taken. Why do they care

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

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Thanks for understanding- My husband was not so supportive of me earlier. I typed what he told me above. He acted like I was being "abnormal" and "weird" and that I should've just let them take my pic. WTH? Ugh!

The comments weren't what bothered me. They were fine. It's the fact that they deliberately turned their back to me and shut me out after that was what really bothered me over that stupid little thing.

I can't believe how judgemental some people are! I would not care if someone didn't want their pic taken or not. As long as they were polite about things, who cares? Why would that offened anyone so much or make them think less of me? I don't get it.

[Know One]

Shy,

You always have some rights to privacy. You are not at fault for not wanting your photo taken.

I am the same way. I hate cameras. I avoid people and the public like the plague.

Your kitties will never let you down. They will never think you're weird or judge you.

Great big for you from me, sister.

Originally Posted by Know One

Shy,

You always have some rights to privacy. You are not at fault for not wanting your photo taken.

I am the same way. I hate cameras. I avoid people and the public like the plague.

Your kitties will never let you down. They will never think you're weird or judge you.

Great big for you from me, sister.

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Thanks! I sure do! And a right to say no as well! I'm glad that you understand how I feel! People like us are NOT weird! What is kind of weird is insisiting that people be in your stupid pic after they politely tell you that they don't want to be in it. Why do they have to bug other people to death? Ugh!

And don't even get me started on the idiots who go around trying to take surprise pics of people, ugh! Your kitty comment was cute, lol! One of my cats gets it since she's like me. She'll turn her cute little face away from the camera and move every time I try to take her pic. She's just like her mom, LOL!

Anyways, can anyone tell me why ALL of those ladies decided to shun me and turn their backs on me and try to ignore me after that? To me, that is really weird and quite rude! I've never experienced anything like that at any meetup. Nor have I ever got any response like that anywhere just from not wanting to have my pic taken! And most of these women were older than me it seemd like. I know for a fact one lady stated that she was going to be 50 soon!

Again, WTH? It took me a lot of guts to come there on my own as I hate big groups, but I need more friends. I thought that I had a chance of maybe making friends with a few nice women there, but after they acted the way that they did after that one little thing, they showed me their true colors early on. I'd rather be alone than hang around people that judgemental and rude!

[ptangptang]

Yep people are strange arn't they. As you say some meet up groups are very cliquey and if they perceive you are not going to be 'one of them' they freeze you out. That's what I think happened, eg the photo and the age difference. It's the herd instinct. Remember back at school. Same thing. Could be also that you were a bit
over sensitive. As divine said ' drive safely' is just a throwaway farewell line.
I would give it another chance. Make a point of talking to the people who you thought were friendly and tell them how you felt last time but admit some of it could be down to you.
I hate being in photos too. I am a very short man and not very photogenic and am always the shortest in a group by quite a bit. I had to leave one meetup group through being ridiculed because of my height. It does make you wonder if trying to get out and socialise is worth the effort. But what's the alternative.

[~Christina]

Next time someone starts snapping Pictures say something like , Oh here let me get pics of you all ..I loveeee being a photographer

That has saved me from being "in" many many pictures.

I always tell people to drive safe.

[guilloche]

he couldn't quite understand why I'd even go to these meetups if I wanted to avoid having my pic taken. He told me that I was the one with THE issue, NOT them.

Wait, what?! I'm like you... I joke that I'm "photo-phobic" (yes, I know that's not really what that means, but it's a way to lighten the mood). I think your husband is nuts here. Unless it was a meetup specifically for actresses, models, or others who would expect to be photographed, why on earth would he tell you to *expect* to be photographed at a meetup? That's not right! I don't go to meetups to be photographed, I go to do whatever the group is doing... play games, hike, watch a movie, etc.

So, that's just silly on his part. And, I agree with you... usually at meetups, you're meeting brand new people. Brand new people do not need to have a photograph of you (or me). You don't even have a real relationship with them.

The one exception that I can imagine is... brand new meetups might want to take group photos to advertise themselves. But, even with that, they absolutely should understand when you say that you don't want to be in it.

It's a boundary. It's *your* boundary. You're allowed to have boundaries! I've generally found that the people I get along with best in the world are those that have no problem respecting my boundaries, even if they think they're weird (and obviously, I try to reciprocate for them).

People that don't respect boundaries... well, if they can't respect something relatively simple like a request to not be included in photos, then I don't trust them to really respect much else. It's funny to me that people say, "it's just a picture, it's no big deal"... if it's no big deal, then why all the fuss about taking it!

Anyway... not sure if this will help you... I've read that people tend to be more easily persuaded when given a reason for something (any reason). I'm not on Facebook, and don't really do social media... so I tell people this, and then explain that I'm nervous about my picture being online, especially since I won't be able to see how it's being used. I don't know, for some people, that seems to give them something they can understand as a reasonable reason.

He told me that I'm NOT normal to say no to having your picture taken no matter what. I told him that it's MY right to say NO! He told me that it makes me appear rude, unfriendly, and stuck up! Ugh!

As I said, I'm the same way. Do you think there might be something in *how* you're saying no that makes you come across badly? It's been my experience that how I say something often has a greater effect than what I say, if that makes sense (for example, "Move your butt!" versus "I'm so sorry, would you mind squishing over just a bit... thank you!").

I shouldn't have to succumb to peer pressure in order to fit in and be liked IMHO!

Maybe try a different group? For me, if a group was that adamant about pictures, I'd have to assume that it wasn't the right group for me.

I do get that this is hard. I run into in different places. I recently took a local class that was tons of fun, and had a great group of people in it. Unfortunately, the teacher set up a Facebook group for everyone to coordinate activities together outside of the class. I don't do Facebook. I thought very seriously about how to handle it, if I wanted to set up a FB account (or even a fake FB account), if I was OK missing activities, etc.

I decided I was OK missing some things, and instead made a couple of good friends with people in class. We coordinated activities between us via email. I might have had a better experience and more fun if I had been willing to bend on FB, but I wasn't, and I made that decision consciously.

Anyway... maybe try another group? Look for a low-key group that's been around for awhile, that hopefully isn't trying to get new photos for the meetup page .

Oh! Or you can do what a friend of mine tried... start your own meetup to make new friends. She had just moved, and set up a group to explore her new city... they went out, had yummy desserts, and tried fun places around the city. If you made your own group, you could perhaps set the tone to be more in line with your preferences (no gratuitous photography of unwilling humans!) and might find some kindred spirits.

Good luck...

(One more thing! A story. Awhile ago, I signed up for a class on writing/producing short films. How cool is that? When I got there, I sat up front... b/c I was so excited about the class. And... wouldn't you know it, the guy teaching had someone *filming* the class. OMG - no. He didn't even say anything about it, or ask if anyone minded. I spent the first half of the class holding a notebook up, and trying to slyly duck behind it. Midway through, I grabbed my stuff, pretended to go to the bathroom - and ducked out the exit. It seemed so rude to me that someone would decide to do that. They weren't filming from the back, focusing on the teacher, they were standing up front, panning the camera over the very small (~15 people) audience. Yuck. So, yup, I really can relate!)

Originally Posted by ptangptang

Yep people are strange arn't they. As you say some meet up groups are very cliquey and if they perceive you are not going to be 'one of them' they freeze you out. That's what I think happened, eg the photo and the age difference. It's the herd instinct. Remember back at school. Same thing. Could be also that you were a bit
over sensitive. As divine said ' drive safely' is just a throwaway farewell line.
I would give it another chance. Make a point of talking to the people who you thought were friendly and tell them how you felt last time but admit some of it could be down to you.
I hate being in photos too. I am a very short man and not very photogenic and am always the shortest in a group by quite a bit. I had to leave one meetup group through being ridiculed because of my height. It does make you wonder if trying to get out and socialise is worth the effort. But what's the alternative.

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You are right about what you said unfortuantely. Most groups do have that weird herd mentality. As for that one comment about driving safely, no, that didn't upset me. That was fine and normal. What DID really get to me was that every single woman there turned their back to me soon after I refused to have my pic taken. WTH?

It was so obvious that they didn't want to talk to me. It was so rude! There is no way in hell that I would ever put myself through that again. Being rejected by a whole group at once was enough to make me go home and drink! Ugh! Eff people like that! If they are going to be that judgemental, to hell with them! I have a right to not want my pic taken, and I was NOT rude about it! I think that organizer was rude for taking surprise pics relentlessly to try to get everyone in it. She even asked me to be in the pic after I told her that I didn't want to be in it. WTH? Ugh!

I'm sorry to hear that people were mean to you because of your height. I hope that the people in the meetup group weren't the ones being mean to you. That's very rude. No wonder some people don't like having their pic taken! We're self concious enough w/o having our flaws pointed out! You wouldn't go up to someone and say, wow, you're quite heavy, or ugly, OK, how about being in a pic now? LOL! What the hell is wrong with morons like that? Ugh!

Originally Posted by ~Christina

Next time someone starts snapping Pictures say something like , Oh here let me get pics of you all ..I loveeee being a photographer

That has saved me from being "in" many many pictures.

I always tell people to drive safe.

---------------------------------------------------------------
lol. Next time I should try to do that. I have actually been the person carrying a camera around me at events taking pics, so whenever someone tried to take a pic of me, I had the camera in front of my face, lol!

The comments about driving safe was fine, and normal. The part that upset me so badly that I had to go home and drink was the fact that ALL of those women turned their backs to me soon after that. That really upset me. It would upset anyone I think. To be rejected by a whole group at once. I should've walked out of there w/o even trying to say goodbye after that B.S.

Originally Posted by guilloche

Wait, what?! I'm like you... I joke that I'm "photo-phobic" (yes, I know that's not really what that means, but it's a way to lighten the mood). I think your husband is nuts here. Unless it was a meetup specifically for actresses, models, or others who would expect to be photographed, why on earth would he tell you to *expect* to be photographed at a meetup? That's not right! I don't go to meetups to be photographed, I go to do whatever the group is doing... play games, hike, watch a movie, etc.

So, that's just silly on his part. And, I agree with you... usually at meetups, you're meeting brand new people. Brand new people do not need to have a photograph of you (or me). You don't even have a real relationship with them.

The one exception that I can imagine is... brand new meetups might want to take group photos to advertise themselves. But, even with that, they absolutely should understand when you say that you don't want to be in it.

It's a boundary. It's *your* boundary. You're allowed to have boundaries! I've generally found that the people I get along with best in the world are those that have no problem respecting my boundaries, even if they think they're weird (and obviously, I try to reciprocate for them).

People that don't respect boundaries... well, if they can't respect something relatively simple like a request to not be included in photos, then I don't trust them to really respect much else. It's funny to me that people say, "it's just a picture, it's no big deal"... if it's no big deal, then why all the fuss about taking it!

Anyway... not sure if this will help you... I've read that people tend to be more easily persuaded when given a reason for something (any reason). I'm not on Facebook, and don't really do social media... so I tell people this, and then explain that I'm nervous about my picture being online, especially since I won't be able to see how it's being used. I don't know, for some people, that seems to give them something they can understand as a reasonable reason.

As I said, I'm the same way. Do you think there might be something in *how* you're saying no that makes you come across badly? It's been my experience that how I say something often has a greater effect than what I say, if that makes sense (for example, "Move your butt!" versus "I'm so sorry, would you mind squishing over just a bit... thank you!").

Maybe try a different group? For me, if a group was that adamant about pictures, I'd have to assume that it wasn't the right group for me.

I do get that this is hard. I run into in different places. I recently took a local class that was tons of fun, and had a great group of people in it. Unfortunately, the teacher set up a Facebook group for everyone to coordinate activities together outside of the class. I don't do Facebook. I thought very seriously about how to handle it, if I wanted to set up a FB account (or even a fake FB account), if I was OK missing activities, etc.

I decided I was OK missing some things, and instead made a couple of good friends with people in class. We coordinated activities between us via email. I might have had a better experience and more fun if I had been willing to bend on FB, but I wasn't, and I made that decision consciously.

Anyway... maybe try another group? Look for a low-key group that's been around for awhile, that hopefully isn't trying to get new photos for the meetup page .

Oh! Or you can do what a friend of mine tried... start your own meetup to make new friends. She had just moved, and set up a group to explore her new city... they went out, had yummy desserts, and tried fun places around the city. If you made your own group, you could perhaps set the tone to be more in line with your preferences (no gratuitous photography of unwilling humans!) and might find some kindred spirits.

Good luck...

(One more thing! A story. Awhile ago, I signed up for a class on writing/producing short films. How cool is that? When I got there, I sat up front... b/c I was so excited about the class. And... wouldn't you know it, the guy teaching had someone *filming* the class. OMG - no. He didn't even say anything about it, or ask if anyone minded. I spent the first half of the class holding a notebook up, and trying to slyly duck behind it. Midway through, I grabbed my stuff, pretended to go to the bathroom - and ducked out the exit. It seemed so rude to me that someone would decide to do that. They weren't filming from the back, focusing on the teacher, they were standing up front, panning the camera over the very small (~15 people) audience. Yuck. So, yup, I really can relate!)

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I love what you wrote! You made me laugh when you stated it's not like I'm going to a meetup to be a model or whatever, lol! You're funny! My husband was being silly by stating that I had to put aside my own discomfort in order to fit in.

If those women are going to reject me, which they did for sure, then to thell with them. They ALL turned their back to me soon after I refused to have my pic taken. And I wasn't rude, well, I didn't think so. I could've been more polite though. I just left me seat and then told the organizer that I didn't want to be in the pic. She then asked me if I'm sure about that. What? Are you kidding me? I just sat that one out! I felt pressured by her! It was clear that she didn't care about my feelings at that point. Ugh! I just said no once again.

I don't get why people make such a big deal out of a person not wanting to be in their pics. Like you said, it's not as if they're friends or family, so what's it to them?

As for the FB story, I would've done the same thing. Maybe I would've set up an account with a fake name with no pic is that was possible. Anyways, as for that class to where you were being video taped w/o your consent was very rude. I would've done the same thing if that happened to me! I also try to use objects to hide my face, or get up to go to the bathroom during picture time, lol!

I don't get why some people think that it's perfectly O.K to take pics or people or video tape them w/o their consent. It's very rude IMHO. It's an invasion of privacy. Some people have no manners it seems like, ugh!

[guilloche]

Originally Posted by Shy Introvert

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I love what you wrote! You made me laugh when you stated it's not like I'm going to a meetup to be a model or whatever, lol! You're funny!

Thanks! I'm glad it made you laugh!

And, I'm sorry that those women rejected you. That sucks, but as you're probably aware, says much more about them than you.

Honestly, sometimes it's just not a good fit. There are some groups of people that won't like me, and I won't like them... we just don't fit well. It's actually a really good thing if I can figure this out on the first meeting, so I don't waste time trying to fit in someplace where I'm not going to enjoy the activities or have the same values... you know what I mean?

It's interesting, I took a class in school on "designing online communities". One of the issues we discussed was whether people should have total freedom to choose their online names. When you open that up, some people pick *really* offensive names. Some of them are just socially inappropriate (i.e. you wouldn't want young kids to see them) but some are hateful. And some are just stupid.

My teacher argued that people who choose offensive names are doing you a favor. It's like a big glowing sign that says, "Avoid me! I'm a jerk!"

Sometimes I find that it helps to think about things like your meeting experience like that. Maybe they weren't actually terrible people, but... maybe it was enough of a mismatch (and as I said, it would be for me!) that in a weird way, they did you a favor by showing you that, upfront.

As for my class on writing short films, I *wish* they had been upfront about the filming. I wasted about $60 on that class, and had I know upfront that they were going to film it, I would have chosen to not go. That made me a little mad. I don't think I should have to assume that a class is going to be filmed, that should be made clear because it's not the norm.

On the opposite end of the spectrum, I took a beginning acting class that was amazing - and no filming or camera work, despite the fact that *acting* actually does require you to be visible in front of other people. The teacher very specifically talked about wanting to create a safe space, and did a fabulous job. Lots of respect to him for doing that (and for not filming us)!

Take care, and I hope you find some awesome folks to hang with that can respect your boundaries!

[~Christina]

The bit about you " having to go home and drink"

If your social anxiety and a meet up makes you go home and drink, That hun, that really needs to be addressed sooner rather that later

[divine1966]

Same as Christina I was concerned about drinking comment.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[TishaBuv]

Unless it was some other reason, I think they turned their backs to you because of the leaving the table and photograph issue. Maybe when you left the table, they got engrossed in some other conversations that you were then not part of, so when you sat back down, their backs were to you.

When you got up to avoid the photo, they probably did talk about you leaving the table to avoid the photo because you are insecure about your looks. Not that they judged or insulted you, just that they noticed and commented. Women do that.

The reason the host is so busy taking photos is because she wants to promote how great her meetup group is. She probably makes a profit by running this group!

I had a funny meetup experience. I found a group that got together to sing. We met at a recording studio and they taped us. There was a guy who played guitar for us, who was amazing. The rest of the singers were amateur good to very good. I am a very good singer who has sung professionally and recorded.

I had a really good time, felt very comfortable. I threw in harmonies, where no one had been doing that. It was just like a practice free-for-all and the recording would show that, like the first time a group, with no plan, sings cold. I told everyone, see you next time!

The next day, I noticed the whole group had disappeared. I think they dropped me and blocked me from even being able to see their group! I have no idea what I did that could have upset them. I just have to laugh it off. How embarrassing!

[TishaBuv]

I had a great experience with a screen writing/ film meet up. I ended up writing a full-length screenplay that's very good, and acted in short films for local festivals. Boy, did I meet characters! I won awards and I even got IMDB credits.

[TishaBuv]

See, I focused on the interest and not the people. Maybe your group was just a social group of women. Not my bag.

[IceCreamKid]

I've never been to a meetup group, but if I were treated the way you were, I wouldn't go back.

Groups tend to have a personality, and this group's doesn't seem to mesh well with yours.

I agree with you; anyone who does not want to be photographed like this should be respected. It wasn't so much about the photograph as it was this woman asserting her dominance and the others backing her up. They probably would not admit to that, though.

Originally Posted by guilloche

Thanks! I'm glad it made you laugh!

And, I'm sorry that those women rejected you. That sucks, but as you're probably aware, says much more about them than you.

Honestly, sometimes it's just not a good fit. There are some groups of people that won't like me, and I won't like them... we just don't fit well. It's actually a really good thing if I can figure this out on the first meeting, so I don't waste time trying to fit in someplace where I'm not going to enjoy the activities or have the same values... you know what I mean?

It's interesting, I took a class in school on "designing online communities". One of the issues we discussed was whether people should have total freedom to choose their online names. When you open that up, some people pick *really* offensive names. Some of them are just socially inappropriate (i.e. you wouldn't want young kids to see them) but some are hateful. And some are just stupid.

My teacher argued that people who choose offensive names are doing you a favor. It's like a big glowing sign that says, "Avoid me! I'm a jerk!"

Sometimes I find that it helps to think about things like your meeting experience like that. Maybe they weren't actually terrible people, but... maybe it was enough of a mismatch (and as I said, it would be for me!) that in a weird way, they did you a favor by showing you that, upfront.

As for my class on writing short films, I *wish* they had been upfront about the filming. I wasted about $60 on that class, and had I know upfront that they were going to film it, I would have chosen to not go. That made me a little mad. I don't think I should have to assume that a class is going to be filmed, that should be made clear because it's not the norm.

On the opposite end of the spectrum, I took a beginning acting class that was amazing - and no filming or camera work, despite the fact that *acting* actually does require you to be visible in front of other people. The teacher very specifically talked about wanting to create a safe space, and did a fabulous job. Lots of respect to him for doing that (and for not filming us)!

Take care, and I hope you find some awesome folks to hang with that can respect your boundaries!

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Yeah, I know. What really sucks is that they seemed nice before that. The lady that I was talking to across from me seemed like someone I could be friends with maybe if I only met her one on one or in a small group.

It wasn't the best fit, you're right about that. I don't like to generalize, but I often find that women who have kids are often looking for other women with kids. I'm an anomaly for a married woman my age!

Sorry to hear about the waste of money! Did you talk to the teacher and ask him to not share the video, or at least edit you out of it? I would have. I also would've asked for my money back since you weren't aware that you were going to be vidoetaped, and that the fact that they didn't get your consent could open them up to a possible law suit, or at the very least, upset people other than you. I would've went that route. If that ever happens again, then at least making them aware of things might prevent them from doing something so invasive again.

In the future, it's always best to call them up when in doubt and ask someone if pics or videos will be taken, or if any personal info is expected to be given out.

As for that acting class, I'm glad to hear that you have such a great teacher! And it's great that he respects your privacy! And I agree, if some filming is going to occur, then people should be aware of it beforehand.

Anyways, I'm going to have to suck it up for a new meetup group MAYBE sometime soon as it'll be the groups first meetup, so the dreaded camera and group pics might be taken, ugh! I hope that will NOT be the case this time! The organizer seems nice. She wants to meet me before the meetup-

I sent her a message thanking her, and I told her a bit about myself. That was a first for me in meetup history! I can only go the the ladies room so often, so are there any other ways to avoid having my pic taken w/o being to obvious? I don't think that a polite no thanks will do once again if I want to fit in, ugh! Bleep, Bleep, Bleep!!!! LOL!

I want to make new friends, but I doubt that most people will understand my aversion to having my pic taken. Does anyone else feel like they'll be judged, or have been judged as being weird or off for not wanting to have their pic taken in a group or other setting?

I used to know a few women who never liked having their pic taken, so I rarely ever took their pic w/o their permission. And I swore that I'd never share it with anyone or post it up online, and I didn't.

I just hope that if a pic of me is taken, that I won't end up looking as fat and stupid in it as I normally look in pics. And hopefully I'll be in the back and barely noticeable! That probably won't happen though if I'm going to be sitting right by the organizer, ugh!

I could offer to take the pic, but not if people start taking surprise pics all at once. I really hope it's not going to be as bad as the last meetup to where the organizer went crazy with the camera. Like how many pics does one meetup need? LOL!

Originally Posted by ~Christina

The bit about you " having to go home and drink"

If your social anxiety and a meet up makes you go home and drink, That hun, that really needs to be addressed sooner rather that later

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It's not just that, it's my depression too. I don't handle stress well. I know that it's a problem. I don't drink all the time, but when I'm really stressed out, I do. I'm trying to work on not doing that as often. So I'm taking baby steps for now.