[Scrm0]

I met someone with bipolar disorder and borderline...I really like her and she likes me as well, but its very hard to find out how to get closer, or how to handle her fluctuation. She's important to me, but sometimes she totally refuse me even if i just try to help, or want to speak something important. She has also have drug problems. I want to make her life better. I need some advice...please help me if you have experiences or any ideas. Thank you

I tried so far to dissuade her about drugs, but it's just made her angry, and our evening ended immediatley.
I'm trying to lead her back to her original profession, sometimes she accept my words, but mostly she grow sad.
I always highlight her good attributes, mostly she says: "Don't woo to me...i can't handle it"

just what do you mean aabout drugs? Are you referring to her prescription medication, illegal narcotics, or something more mainstream?

[Trippin2.0]

You can't save someone who doesn't want salvation.


I have bipolar and bpd too, and I made it clear to my bf that he can't fix me and shouldn't try, because I'm not broken.


I'm wired differently and it was up to ME to discover how to navigate life successfully.


I honestly don't think you should be pursuing anyone with a drug problem, that's just looking for trouble.


But maybe I'm just jaded because I dated an addict, then again, my bf has a history of drug abuse but it's never posed a problem because he cleaned up his act long before we got together.


Idk, just seems like you want to play the white knight, and that hardly, if ever works out well. Especially not when the damsel is the cause of her own distress.

[Scrm0]

Originally Posted by rcat

just what do you mean aabout drugs? Are you referring to her prescription medication, illegal narcotics, or something more mainstream?

some mainstream drugs...fast,x,green

[Scrm0]

Originally Posted by Trippin2.0

You can't save someone who doesn't want salvation.


I have bipolar and bpd too, and I made it clear to my bf that he can't fix me and shouldn't try, because I'm not broken.


I'm wired differently and it was up to ME to discover how to navigate life successfully.


I honestly don't think you should be pursuing anyone with a drug problem, that's just looking for trouble.


But maybe I'm just jaded because I dated an addict, then again, my bf has a history of drug abuse but it's never posed a problem because he cleaned up his act long before we got together.


Idk, just seems like you want to play the white knight, and that hardly, if ever works out well. Especially not when the damsel is the cause of her own distress.

You misunderstand me...I don't want to "fix" her. I know it's a part of hers and dont want to change this. And i don't want to play the savior. I just want to be a strong point in her life

[~Christina]

It's in almost impossible for someone to find stability having Bipolar of they are using street drugs or alcohol, Just a fyi.

Welcome to PC I hope shes able to find help.

[s4ndm4n2006]

Originally Posted by Scrm0

I met someone with bipolar disorder and borderline...I really like her and she likes me as well, but its very hard to find out how to get closer, or how to handle her fluctuation. She's important to me, but sometimes she totally refuse me even if i just try to help, or want to speak something important. She has also have drug problems. I want to make her life better. I need some advice...please help me if you have experiences or any ideas. Thank you

I tried so far to dissuade her about drugs, but it's just made her angry, and our evening ended immediatley.
I'm trying to lead her back to her original profession, sometimes she accept my words, but mostly she grow sad.
I always highlight her good attributes, mostly she says: "Don't woo to me...i can't handle it"

Your motivations toward wanting to help her are not bad things in and of themselves but to want ot be with someone in a relationship on that basis is shaky at best. More often than not this is not true love but a need on your part to be a caretaker of someone.

In order to truly be in love and love someone you have to accept them as they are here and now and be ready to face everything with them without trying to change, fix or help them out of what you see as a weakness for them. Already you are putting yourself in the shining knight role and this is not what you want in a relationship. You need to be her equal and there to be with her regardless of the problems she may have, her MI, challenges and everything.

Most likely you can't accept her drug usage, first off, which is understandable but fixing her to be with her is really not a good choice to make. Support her, and everything but put off being with her until you can accept her as she is. Perhaps she can get help and become stable and at that point you can see if you still "love" her?

[s4ndm4n2006]

Originally Posted by Scrm0

You misunderstand me...I don't want to "fix" her. I know it's a part of hers and dont want to change this. And i don't want to play the savior. I just want to be a strong point in her life

This:

I'm trying to lead her back to her original profession, sometimes she accept my words, but mostly she grow sad.

really says otherwise.

It is fine to offer encouragement, advice, etc. But help? All you can do is advise her to take care of herself and offer to be there for emotional support.

[crosstobear]

Originally Posted by Scrm0

I met someone with bipolar disorder and borderline...I really like her and she likes me as well, but its very hard to find out how to get closer, or how to handle her fluctuation. She's important to me, but sometimes she totally refuse me even if i just try to help, or want to speak something important. She has also have drug problems. I want to make her life better. I need some advice...please help me if you have experiences or any ideas. Thank you

I tried so far to dissuade her about drugs, but it's just made her angry, and our evening ended immediatley.
I'm trying to lead her back to her original profession, sometimes she accept my words, but mostly she grow sad.
I always highlight her good attributes, mostly she says: "Don't woo to me...i can't handle it"

You're asking about dating someone who has a severe mood disorder, a serious personality disorder, and on top of that is addicted to drugs? Why do you want to "help" her? Are you codependent? You can't even begin to help her in a significant way. You can be there for her to an extent but that can lead to you getting damaged. But being attracted to someone like that may mean you yourself are somewhat damaged. I'd look within and start there. Let me tell you, if you're not aware, you'll be in for a world of hurt.