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  #1  
Old Oct 05, 2015, 04:03 AM
brooks184 brooks184 is offline
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Member Since: Nov 2011
Location: leicestershire
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I am drinking again so my apologies for rubbish grammes. Yes I know it's 09.55 please don't judge.

Today is a bad day a few days ago I found out he cheated. My body is numb but my mind just will not stop. He asked me to marry him bit I do not know how to feel. I have been 8n a crisis and are getting help but I blame myself . I do not know what to dk
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Anonymous37784, WifeofBPD

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  #2  
Old Oct 05, 2015, 04:41 AM
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divine1966 divine1966 is offline
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Member Since: Dec 2014
Location: US
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He cheated on you? You know for sure?'certainly don't marry him

I am very sorry and am sending you many hugs. No judgement here. Just focus on grieving and moving on

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Thanks for this!
Trippin2.0
  #3  
Old Oct 05, 2015, 07:53 AM
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WifeofBPD WifeofBPD is offline
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Location: Wisconsin
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Marriage doesn't fix anything or make a cheater true. Neither do children for that matter. I would say that in this situation it is perfectly acceptable to refuse his proposal and I would probably take it a step further and end the relationship. You deserve to be happy with someone who is focused on making a life with you, who treats you like a queen, and is serious about being your partner.

~Seanachai~
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  #4  
Old Oct 05, 2015, 10:13 AM
Anonymous37784
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No it's NOT your fault.
Thanks for this!
Trippin2.0
  #5  
Old Oct 05, 2015, 10:56 AM
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gayleggg gayleggg is offline
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I agree with everyone else, marriage doesn't fix cheaters and doesn't make the pain go away. Seek counseling for yourself. Take care of yourself. You didn't cause this.

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  #6  
Old Oct 06, 2015, 11:35 AM
Anonymous37784
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Exactly, I stayed in a mentally abusive relationship for 16 years. During that time he had numerous inappropriate raltionships with women and I tried to ignore them and tell myself nothing was happening. I now know for a fact my suspicions were true.

His behaviour took a huge toll. Not only that I could not trust the man but that I blamed myself and was always wondering how I might have prevented these 'friendships'. My mental health suffered greatly, my parenting choices were affected. My entire life was tainted by his cheating. I wasted 16 years of my life feeling like **** about myself and near constant hurt. Don't do the same. PLEASE.
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WifeofBPD
  #7  
Old Oct 06, 2015, 12:56 PM
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WifeofBPD WifeofBPD is offline
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Location: Wisconsin
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rcat View Post
Exactly, I stayed in a mentally abusive relationship for 16 years. During that time he had numerous inappropriate raltionships with women and I tried to ignore them and tell myself nothing was happening. I now know for a fact my suspicions were true.

His behaviour took a huge toll. Not only that I could not trust the man but that I blamed myself and was always wondering how I might have prevented these 'friendships'. My mental health suffered greatly, my parenting choices were affected. My entire life was tainted by his cheating. I wasted 16 years of my life feeling like **** about myself and near constant hurt. Don't do the same. PLEASE.
I wasted 12....
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I know I'm a little bit crazy and that's all part of my charm. If you don't like it, then get off of my unicorn.
  #8  
Old Oct 06, 2015, 06:32 PM
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Rose76 Rose76 is offline
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Member Since: Mar 2011
Location: USA
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Of course you are badly hurt and feel devastated. It's your boyfriend who doesn't know what the heck he wants. He's probably immature and not yet marriage material. Some dreams you had were dashed. Don't expect to feel okay for awhile. You're human.
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