[Newmrs]

I'm getting married next week! Ahh. Yes, I should be excited but i'm having some doubts. I've been with my fiancé for 5 years and we live together. Since the beginning of our relationship I have gone through periods of doubt. During these periods I just don't want to be cuddled, I don't want sex, and I get annoyed easily by my partner. I also notice my partners physical flaws more and I focus on them. These episodes usually happen when i'm pmsing but i'm worried because i'm going through one right now and i'm not due for my period! When i'm not having these episodes I absolutely love my partner, and I love being around him. Right now what is bothering me the most is changing my last name to his. Seems silly I guess and i'm not sure why it's bothering me so much because it didn't before. I'm so nervous I will have these feelings walking down the isle and I'll remember having those feelings walking down the isle forever. I don't want to break up with him i'm more just wondering if anyone else goes through these feelings in their relationship. Is it normal?

[Trippin2.0]

Cold feet perhaps?


I mean if it were as simple as his name, you could just opt to keep yours...


I hear its quite common to panic just before the nuptials, so I doubt you have anything to worry about.


Make a pros and cons list, if his last name is the only negative, then you can see in writing, that you're making the right decision and that way it will be easier squashing those thoughts out of your mind so that they don't follow you don't the aisle.

[divine1966]

My daughter kept her maiden name. There is no law that you must take his name

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[Calypso2632]

I kept my maiden name.

[nicoleflynn]

I had those feelings and ignored them.........disaster.

Get into some counseling for yourself, and get help in figureing out what is going on, before you make a decision.

Im getting married in may. We've been together for almost 6 yrs living together for 5.5yrs. Ive had those same bouts of doubt all through our relationship and they get stronger as the months close in. In my heart i know i want to be with this man for the rest of my life. Change is difficult for me although the only real change will be my last name. Like others have said thats not a deal breaker. Im sure you as will I will walk down the aisle smiling and happy and just a bit nervous. Enjoy the day. Therapy might be something to look into if you havent already. Best of luck and congratulations.

[Moreta]

When I changed my name, I dropped my middle name and kept my maiden name and added his last name.

[healingme4me]

I changed my name, thinking no big deal, plus at the time was estranged from my father. A couple of years after divorce, I changed it back. That's been a difficult change, until I completely took over health insurance this month. Can be a tad confusing with the fact that my children don't share my last name, but it's not confusing to them. It's a big decision, in its own way. It's a strange type of change in identity, no surprise it creates inner conflict.

[divine1966]

I kept my married name despite the fact that I have been not married that long and got divorced over 20 years ago. I have no connection to my maiden name but do identify with my married name. Don't know why. Might something to do with being not that close to my parents. I mean we are good but not much emotional closeness. After divorce I didn't want that name back.

My daughter is close to both me and her dad and is comfortable keeping her maiden name. She says their kids will have hyphenated last name.

Yea I think changing name changes identity. For me not having my parents name signified so called " leaving the house".

I never remarried but if I will I will take his name ( obviously I can't keep ex's name lol) but I know I'll feel weird as I spend most of my adult life from 20 to 50 under my ex's last name .

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