Good day I guess

So this morning I had a very good conversation with a young lady friend of mine. The amazing and depressing reality is that I've learned to become comfortable with talking to women very late in life. The thing is when I'm conversing with someone considerably younger than myself I forget and go into this haze of possibility. She was so responsive when I was talking to her that I found myself exploring her smile and gestures - it was wonderful and I just wanted to get closer. The energy surge I got from this exchange sustained me for the entire day - I wanted to change the world for the better. Okay so I know that this relationship isn't going to happen - it's fantasy. First of all paralysis sets in when I think about how hard it would be to live with such a young energetic human being. Secondly I know that my thought process is slightly tainted and not operating on all cylinders when it comes to companionship - I'm a desperate old man. Thirdly she has career, family and all the stuff in front of her - I don't. So as the day closes the fire has turned to a cinder and I don't know if it's good or bad. Amen.

Well it's good you're communicating - and friendships are a vital part of life. As long as you keep your feet on the ground and don't read too much into it/over think - just enjoy the interaction for what it is.

It's good to know someone you can have a light-hearted conversation with and when you have experienced deep feelings of loneliness it's expected to feel refreshed and energized.

But infatuation is a dangerous thing, so watch your step. I see nothing wrong in age gaps, however I think fantasizing about that lady may be too much. I'd also put some critical thinking into that amount of idealization of the youth. As a young person myself, I find it very, very unreasonable.

Sorry if I sounded like I was trying to burst your bubble. Not my intention...

Good conversation is a wonderful thing but I notice it's always much younger people and then it never goes anywhere. I think you'd have a better chance with ladies closer to your age

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Well there is probably an issue here. I'm probably trying to make up for lost time - the youthful relationship I never really had. I'm know I'm very sad because I don't have this memory and resentful that other people have a relationship history. There is something subconsciously going on, something in the DNA. I'm so easily swayed by youth and It's a hard urge to kick. It's a matter of convenience too most of the people I know are younger than me. I'm also fighting a history of being a loner - it's hard because it's where I'm comfortable and I like my space. I kept telling myself over the years that things would be okay but time went by so fast and here I am. Thanks.

I understand you may feel resentful, but no one gets everything from life. The more you get rid of that "did not achieve that" feeling towards life, the better you'll feel. It's not supposed to be a collection of achievements, you know.

Youth is sold everywhere. Even when the motto is "enjoy the present moment" it's mostly always illustrated by images of young people.

Just because you're 50, it doesn't mean you can't have a refreshing relationship. Again, it's not about age, but you're making a big deal about it...

I hear your whispers
But I can't touch your face
When I'm alone you come closer
Are you just a promise
Something drawn from hopeful blueprints
Of what's suppose to be
They keep saying you are coming
I still want to believe
I stare into the dark
And listen for footsteps
The rain is my only companion

You can have "youthful" "vibrant" relationship at any age. You don't need to be young for that. You can feel youthful at any age. People have fun at any age. I have girlfriends in their 60s and 70s and they have fun. My relationship is pretty youthful and we are both turning 50 and have adult children. I don't need 20 year old guy to feel I am in youthful relationship.

Unless you start doing things differently, nothing will change.

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