Contradicting actions and words

I went to visit my college a few times to visit a few people, including a couple friends. But each time after my visit, one person would tell me the other person does not want me there. So I will go ask the other person to see what is wrong and that person will say that is not true and that it is the first person who does not want me there. They talk about each other behind each other's back, as well as other people. Although the guy is actually worse than the girl. I told them they are under no obligation to hang out with me and I go to visit other people, not just them and it is not like I am there a lot. Something tells me they actually both don't want me there but are too afraid to own up to it even though they deny it. Like they are lying and telling the truth. The truth would be that the other person does not want me there but the lie would be that the person does not want me there him or herself as well. I am considering not visiting them. And they know backstabbing is wrong, yet hang out with each other anyway even though they know the other person talks **** behind their backs. I feel like they both don't want me there. Do you think it is true? They claim to be friends but they really aren't since real friends do not back stab each other the way they do it. As well as doing it to others.

Wow. How uncomfortable & hurtful for fyou! So sorry these so-called :friends: are gehaving like this. So immature and meanspirited imo! Would it be possible to not make a point of going to see them when you visit your other friends> I don't mean like pointedly ignoring them (unless that's what you ultimately feel would be best), but just making plans with the other folk you came to visit & if you chance accross these other two little operators, well fine, you've got something else going on. You wouldn't be dependent upon them for validation at all, if that makes any sense? Certainly you don't need any more participation in these hurtful power-trip games. Grrrrr at them! Hugs to you, Chyia

I agree with Chyialee. Is it possible to not seek these individuals out. Yes, I wouldn't ignore them but I would make a point of looking for your other friends and aquainances. I think in this way, if you WERE to encounter them you would have less invested in the the visit and it wouldn't bother you so much. Also, by not avoiding them all together I think you are being a 'better' person and able to hold your head up high around them.

Thank you and yes I agree, it is possible and I plan on doing that next time that way I don't leave feeling a sense of dread. And if they choose to still hang out with me breofly, then that is on them since I don't plan on actually trying to hang with them. And they will realize I am there for other friends other than them and that the world does not revolve around them.

Yep, just like I told Chyialee, I will only visit other friends and if these two so call friends come along then that is on them. I think me hanging out with other people and them seeing that will show that the world does not revolve around them and that I am not dependent on them.

I have a theory that if someone talks TO YOU about other people ( gossip and such), they will surely talk ABOUT YOU to other people. If that's the case, then they probably ARE telling off on each other and omitting their own feelings. But either way they don't sound like the best of people to be friends with. ( too much drama of you ask me.) They at the very least sound like instigators who enjoy stirring up conflict amongst "bro called" friends. I agree. Friends shouldn't treat each other like that!

I agree, friends who gossip are not really friends. And yeah I agree, they are drama queens seeking to stir drama.