I only just realised that the fact that we're none of us guaranteed anyone that would love us scares me a great deal.. There's no guarantees I won't live my life alone It just seems really sad to me that I'd die alone.. I only have one friend left after having been ill for a few years.. What if she decides to leave as well and I never make new ones! It's just really.. SCARY..

[iwonderaboutstuff]

That's tough... I hate that no one to really count on feeling. Just keep being a good friend back; it's all you can do with her.

I agree with you; not only do I experience this myself but I see it in my workday all the time. I feel like the only thing you can do is keep living your life to the fullest. On my sad days, I worry. On my happy days I say well...eff it and just keep living the best I can because there isn't much I can do otherwise, you know?

[alieninshadows]

I have the same fear all the time. At least I have my daughter. But outside of family I have no close friends, just my ex and he's not the easiest to talk to.

[Yismymindblank12]

Originally Posted by d.o.a.

I only just realised that the fact that we're none of us guaranteed anyone that would love us scares me a great deal.. There's no guarantees I won't live my life alone It just seems really sad to me that I'd die alone.. I only have one friend left after having been ill for a few years.. What if she decides to leave as well and I never make new ones! It's just really.. SCARY..

I know, but after realizing this. I chose to take it in pride and choose to be more selective and not let another person define me. I let myself define me and if the person compliments me great and if not I'll drop them asap no matter how serious it gotten very easily.

I feel I'll live life alone possibly too, maybe because where I'm at or what I'm doing, but I've came to the conclusion what if I accepted that living my whole life alone isn't a bad thing at all. It makes everything else much easier.

Making friends is easier to some places and people you meet mutually than others. Rather I can't make much friends other than 90% of superficial acquaintances or people who don't care to go any further than one or 2 times hanging out or going to an event or party or just coworkers. That's it. My true friends all left me in some way.

I stopped caring about people so I can stay sane. I don't care anymore if people don't like me. I don't like them, because they're so focused on me and just should leave me alone, but other people don't talk to me most of the time and it frustrates me in the predicament I'm in, but if I had more control in just interactions alone. I don't even need friends, or love anything. I can always have a new experience every time good and bad from all the new people I meet even if I do and don't like them.

I prefer that over anything now. It's the easiest to attain.

[littleowl2006]

I have the exact same fear. But then, sometimes new friends appear where we don't expect them. And if everyone feels that way (or many people), isn't that proof that we have something in common? If noone wants to be left alone, isn't it okay to be afraid and comfort each other? Just some thoughts which help me when I get upset
I believe that we are part of something bigger somehow, and that the love we give comes back to us at some point. But then, I have my moments when I doubt that and lose hope.
Anyways, have a hug and a little comfort for your heart from me

[Septembersrain]

My mom died alone in her home and was a hermit. I'm absolutely terrified I'll go out the same way. I have no real life friends I confide in. I can make friends easily because I know how to use personality traits I've learned from others to allow me to be social. However, I cannot keep friends because it grows tiring keeping up a facade. So I end up isolating so I can be comfortable in my own skin...

Sent from my iPad Mini 3 using Tapatalk.

[ScientiaOmnisEst]

Glad to know someone else feels the same way (so I don't have to be too ashamed of my fear). The idea that I'm simply not good enough for anyone to stick around, and that I may need a total Self-overhaul to be lovable at all, makes me almost sick with worry. Breaks my heart, really.

There's always fantasy.

[s4ndm4n2006]

I understand your train of thought here and how it's scary. I have been there and know that it can be very daunting to think about but I offer this, keep in mind these are only thoughts and none of it based on reality itself. That is yes, it is tru you're not guaranteed to have people love you but that does not in any way make it true that you WON'T find friends again. If the possibility exists of one thing then the possibility for the other exists also. So in thinking about that, try not to 'what if' your way into further depression but focus on the other possibilities in life. More than likely, based on how life usually works, you'll find more friends. I'm not making a guarantee but just saying that possibility exists too.

[littleowl2006]

Originally Posted by ScientiaOmnisEst

Glad to know someone else feels the same way (so I don't have to be too ashamed of my fear). The idea that I'm simply not good enough for anyone to stick around, and that I may need a total Self-overhaul to be lovable at all, makes me almost sick with worry. Breaks my heart, really.

There's always fantasy.

It also breaks my heart to read what you think of yourself. Don't let this be in your mind without any comment, it isn't true. You don't have to be ashamed of your feelings, they belong to you and it is normal to have good ones, but also this kind of fear that we are talking about here. Please don't let it get you so down

[Jupi]

Originally Posted by d.o.a.

I only just realised that the fact that we're none of us guaranteed anyone that would love us scares me a great deal.. There's no guarantees I won't live my life alone It just seems really sad to me that I'd die alone.. I only have one friend left after having been ill for a few years.. What if she decides to leave as well and I never make new ones! It's just really.. SCARY..

Man, sometimes I think that I would be alone forever. I'm currently have a girlfriend, but at times I feel we're not cutting it off.

And it's not like no one understands my schizophrenia. It's like a one way deal with people in my life, I try to be normal like them and take in their ways but its the opposite on their end.

Thank you all for your replies! Even though I wouldn't wish these fears nor loneliness on anyone, it feels good to know I'm not alone with my feelings..

Good suggestions as well! I feel the best thing would probably be to just focus on getting on with my life and, as you said, Ruari, live it to the fullest. Alone or not, I still have to go on, so might as well try and make my life as good as possible - and I guess it's still possible to live with the sadness of being alone..

Maybe the way forward is to radically accept I might remain alone, but the way the world is, it's still likely I'll make some kind of friends somewhere, at work, school.. Even if none of them turn out to become really close friends. At least it'd be something. Maybe I just need to accept where I'm at and be grateful IF good things come to my life.

In the end, all we can do is be ourselves, dare to be available to others, and hope for the best, I guess.. I've always believed I'm so utterly unlovable no one can possibly love me, but you know what - it's not true!!! Not everyone is going to like me nor love me, but there are people who can. It'd be completely unrealistic to think no one could!

[Onward2wards]

Life does not come with guarantees (or warranties, or disclaimers, or little tags "only to be removed by the end consumer") BUT there are always things one can do to increase the chances of success. This thought soothes me.

[popuri88]

I never bought that idea that life comes with guarantees or that everyone is made to be happy, happiness is the ultimate goal and its variables.

But I too have a weird family history and the idea of ending like a bitter hermit haunts me from times to times. Whenever I'm crushed by it I like looking at the sea or space and realizing how tiny I am compared to everything else.

[littleowl2006]

Originally Posted by popuri88

I never bought that idea that life comes with guarantees or that everyone is made to be happy, happiness is the ultimate goal and its variables.

But I too have a weird family history and the idea of ending like a bitter hermit haunts me from times to times. Whenever I'm crushed by it I like looking at the sea or space and realizing how tiny I am compared to everything else.

Exactly this thought is in my head so frequently!
I guess it is possible to sit through it and realize it is only a fear, not a guarantee either. I imagine my bitter hermit relatives never said to anyone "I am looking for ways to make friends. I don't want to be a lonely bitter hermit"

[nonightowl]

Originally Posted by d.o.a.

I only just realised that the fact that we're none of us guaranteed anyone that would love us scares me a great deal.. There's no guarantees I won't live my life alone It just seems really sad to me that I'd die alone.. I only have one friend left after having been ill for a few years.. What if she decides to leave as well and I never make new ones! It's just really.. SCARY..

I feel the exact same way. I feel like what little I have hangs by a thread. Right now I just have 2 friends, one is not close and I've known him a year now. But he doesn't open up. At least he's around though. The other is in another state (not by his choice)

Last year I had two so-called "friends" just stop talking to me.

I'm always on the look out for new friends, even though the ones I get don't stick around. Maybe they aren't really "friends". I don't know.

I don't have a close family, what little I have of THAT. So I feel the same way. Nobody to grow old with or to help. I'd have to rely on these places that help older people. VERY scary, as even those places are stretched so thin, with all the need out there.

Even if one does have someone, you're right there's no guarantee something won't happen. I wish I had a support network of over 100 people. With THAT number, I'd feel more secure. The odds of something happening to that many people all at once is remote, I think.

[Namaste30]

Originally Posted by d.o.a.

I only just realised that the fact that we're none of us guaranteed anyone that would love us scares me a great deal.. There's no guarantees I won't live my life alone It just seems really sad to me that I'd die alone.. I only have one friend left after having been ill for a few years.. What if she decides to leave as well and I never make new ones! It's just really.. SCARY..

I struggle with this too... I think its a normal part of life to feel concern over this. there isn't anything we can do about how the cards are dealt but try and feel secure with yourself and be as content with who you are, doing the things that make you feel happy and at ease...you'll attract genuine people who will be there and love you always when you are putting it out there that you are positive and love yourself...it is a constant battle... just know as much as you would love someone until the end of their time, there is some one out there who will love you until the end of yours, try not to lose faith the it exists and don't give up on happiness... you are not by yourself, you are with yourself and coming to terms with this reality will bring you self reassurance and happiness.
I have to tell myself sometimes not to worry so much about the future and what may or may not happen because as you know anything can happen and therefore it is pointless to worry ourselves. Try to be in the present moment as much as you can.

try listening to Eckhart Tolle some time... he really puts it into perspective.

here are some of his helpful reminders:

Eckhart Tolle TV | Archive

[CopperStar]

I figure in every day life there's bound to be a lot of people around me at work and such who feel the same way. I think it's often just a matter of going first.

One of my coworkers recently was talking about something, and I asked her if she had siblings because it was going to lead into a follow-up question from me if she said yes.

But she wound up just going on about her siblings for a while, like she had been wanting to talk about those issues but had never had anyone to listen. So I just stood there and listened to her vent about her problems and past with her siblings for a while.

Now she tends to be friendlier towards me.

Bonding seems to happen pretty randomly, you never know when it might happen, just have to keep putting yourself out there in little ways.

[cobalttinor]

I can't say I'm scared to die alone, I have more friends and friends turned family than I know what to do with. But to still feel alone, it's hard and hurts many times, so I can identify with FEELING like you're living alone.

[Nissala]

I have the the same fear. I'm 52, been divorced for 12 years and haven't even dated in at least 8 years..I have no friends other than my daughter...