[MarlboroChick]

Please don't think I'm vain or bragging or whatever. I'm honestly confused right now.
I work in a smaller clothing store. My manager is in his early thirties, and is very obviously interested in me, although he seems to realize that it's inappropriate. He's made several comments about how, if I was older, he would have 'picked me up' by now. He frequently texts me.

A lot of his friends come into the shop to hang out and keep him/me company. Most of them are in their earlyish thirties and single. I will admit that i'm mildly flirty with them but it's mostly just for fun. There is one man that's in his mid thirties that i've been considering sleeping with. I keep thinking about it an am caught between wanting to try my chances out with it, and being nervous of the mental consequences it could have.

What I don't understand is why any of them are interested. If I was in my thirties, i would feel a little creepy trying to get at a teenager. They constantly tell me how 'mature' i am, but I'm wondering if it's some sort of manipulative tactic to get in my pants. The man I'm thinking of sleeping with never came onto me until I started flirting with him.

I hang out with them sometimes outside of work and it just seems like we're all friends. But I keep wondering, is there something I'm missing? Am I being manipulated? Or, am I being paranoid about all this?

[~Christina]

Alot of men in there 30's want a young woman , your 18 your "legal" Same as lots of 60 year old men still want the same young woman.

Think long and hard about sleeping with one of the bosses friends. Might backfire somehow .. Just give it some thought. Your well being is most important .

[MarlboroChick]

Originally Posted by ~Christina

Alot of men in there 30's want a young woman , your 18 your "legal" Same as lots of 60 year old men still want the same young woman.

Think long and hard about sleeping with one of the bosses friends. Might backfire somehow .. Just give it some thought. Your well being is most important .

I guess I was just overthinking it because I'm suspicious and don't want to be taken advantage of. Maybe it's more normal than I thought.

[ComfortablyNumb5]

In your title you asked why these men falling all over you. Well you admitted flirting with them and some men see that as a green light. Especially from a younger woman.

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[Permacultural]

The issue that you might not be seeing is whether these guys actually respect you, or whether they see you as an object / conquest. Like a sick game to see which of them can get with the young lady.

I'm not saying that is what is happening, but, if you are being intentionally manipulated I'm sure it isn't because these guys want to marry you and father your kids.

[MarlboroChick]

Originally Posted by Permacultural

The issue that you might not be seeing is whether these guys actually respect you, or whether they see you as an object / conquest. Like a sick game to see which of them can get with the young lady.

I'm not saying that is what is happening, but, if you are being intentionally manipulated I'm sure it isn't because these guys want to marry you and father your kids.

That's exactly what I'm suspicious/paranoid about. I'm trying to suss out whether or not any of them think of me as more than just a sex toy. And I'm not trying to date/marry any of these dudes, if we're being honest, but if I'd at least like to know what game they're playing.

[DechanDawa]

The game they are playing is the game they will be playing for about the next 40 years of your life! When you are in your 50's you will have men in their 80's slobbering all over you. If you are flirty guys will flirt back. If you don't want attention, don't flirt. But once you have started flirting it is kind of hard to reverse it. I was a flirt when I was young and I can be a old flirt now, and it is all the same. Flirting is flirting at any age, and it doesn't have to mean anything, really. It can just be a form of communication, and sort of flattery. You need to be smart about communication between gals and guys. If a guy really, really starts bothering you in a creepy way, even if you have been slightly flirty, and you want it to stop, then stop flirting, and if the guy bothers you, then use your words girl, and tell him his attention is not desired. I saw a guy about 60 flirting with a cashier about your age at our local grocery store. It was obvious he was making her feel uncomfortable. I told her later, to use her words. She doesn't have the be nice. Personally it makes me sick to see men of that age acting that way around young girls. It's so disrespectful when the girl is just trying to do her job.

I can't think of a normal red-blooded 30-something male who would not respond to flirtiness from a young girl. It is just human nature. But a 30-something guy who would sleep with a girl not even yet out of her teens??? That's creepy and there is something wrong with the guy. Stay away. It's really not going to be an adventure. It could turn out really weird like the guy trying to control you or something. No. I would definitely steer clear and wouldn't flirt with the boss or friends of the boss. No. Just, no.

If you are sexually overt (out there) with 30 something guys do they think you are slutty? Probably.

Please protect your youth and beauty. A bit of being flirty is okay but I would say tone it down. Best to nix it totally with boss and friends of boss.

Best to get good at this game now. The "game" of flirting is a form of communication that doesn't have to lead to sex. The game is men will get turned on by almost any attention from a female who is nice looking, and younger. The game is men will flirt with a woman they think is sexy but that has nothing to do with whether or not they respect her or even desire to have sex with her. A "gentlemen" may be ever so mildly flirty but would never be inappropriate. A gentlemen would not be interested in robbing the cradle as he would have way too much class for that.

Remain in control. There are abusive men out there and it would be nice if you could lead a life where you would never, ever have to be in contact with that.

[Koko2]

When I was in my mid 30's, I was asked on a date by a female coworker age 18, said no just out of shock, and pursued by another the same age. I was pursued by a female age 21 when I was twice her age though she later changed her mind before our first date. I guess it can work both ways though it's usually the older guy pursuing the younger woman.

[DeterminedSlacker]

Very likely they're taking bets behind your back as to which one can bed you first. If you are flirting for "fun" then let me snap that illusion right now, they're not considering it fun, they're considering it as an open door to a young girls bedroom. Ultimately it's up to you how you'll proceed, but don't be under the illusion that it's just harmless fun, a guy in his 30's and a girl in her teens have nearly nothing in common and their attention is from a sexual angle, not a friendly one.

[DechanDawa]

Nowadays younger men will flirt with an older woman, and the first couple of times it happened to me I treated it as a joke! I then kind of decided I enjoyed the "role reversal" of younger man/older woman and enjoyed being treated really well, taken out for coffee, drinks, meals, going for hikes, to the movies etc. I refused a back rub. But the stares in public were fun. I still don't know what it was all about. I think I just had a sexy cougar streak for a couple of years but it has since faded. The truth is that in this society now there aren't really any rules, and for this reason personal boundaries are much more important. I would date a younger man if we were mutually attracted. However, recently I wasn't too happy when a 30-something relative started dating a woman ten years younger than he was. We were all relieved when they broke it off on friendly terms. It just seemed creepy. She was still living with her parents. They never got a chance to meet her older man, thank goodness.

[ChipperMonkey]

Originally Posted by RxQueen875

In your title you asked why these men falling all over you. Well you admitted flirting with them and some men see that as a green light. Especially from a younger woman.

YEP!

You don't even need to be flirting......some guys just think that you're into them simply because you're nice to them or talk to them. (One of the issues a woman has when she has more male friends than female friends...)

However, if you are uncomfortable, then just back off and don't be so flirty with these guys. When you're underage and flirting with guys your age, there is a certain amount of innocence that goes along with it all. But, when you hit age 18, some of that innocence is lost because older guys aren't going to treat you so innocently. I'm sorry if this isn't coming across right, but there is that legal line in the sand at age 18...

And I'm not making any sort of accusations, but constantly flirting with the same guys.....well, many men will view this as you coming on to them. If you shock them with the just being friendly bit, you may be labled as being a tease (really, I hate that word!) as they will think you're just leading them on with no real interest or intentions.

It really is one of those things that women learn as they get older. Unfortunately you do have to be careful about who you associate with, who you flirt with, and so on.

And spoken as someone in their 30's.....yes, the dating pool gets a bit....stagnant once you hit this decade. So of course you're going to have guys who choose to date a little bit younger. Some of them never really matured to begin with. (I know many guys who would never think about dating someone who is just barely legal as your life changes so radically from the time you turn 18 throughout your mid 20's and beyond.)

Sad to say, it can endanger you to have the "its all in fun" sort of attitude with all that you do. I don't mean to scare you, but you really do have to watch your back and be conscious of who you're engaging with.

[divine1966]

I wouldn't be flirting on the job. Regardless of your age that is usually inappropriate. Be polite but remain professional. They might be falling over because you flirt. Bad idea sleeping with that guy. Refrain from doing so.

As about older men. I once belonged to a social club, specifically "parents without partners" thing and other members were much older than me. I am not a flirty type at all but look younger than I am and I had much much older men ask me out. I was 35 (looked 25/30 the most) and I was asked out by older guys and a couple were 70-year-olds.

I was in the group for social activities like a book club or see a movie not dating as I worked two jobs and had a kid at home and didn't want to date let alone men older than my father so I stopped my membership). I am just saying that many ( not all) men like younger women

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[DechanDawa]

Some people are just naturally flirty and teasers. I just want to say again that I think there is such a thing as harmless flirting. But it has to do with context. Sometimes flirting gets favors. Once when I was young I took a cab from the airport and ended up not having enough money. I got a little flirty and offered the cabbie a big juicy apple I had been saving as my lunch as part payment, and he was fine with that. Even though I am an older flirt now, I continually get good deals. If merchandise is a bit frayed I will ask for a discount, and get it. I personally don't think flirting is always sexual, but I do think what we are talking about on this thread is sexy flirting. So yes, sexy flirting is dangerous flirting, and I am really happy that this person engendered so much great advice from level-headed folk. Like no flirty with the bossy.

[SvanThor]

Honestly, I think it's just asking for trouble, but I can't judge since I've done so much worse.

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