Attachment theory

Ok when I do option a its not so simple , I'm dismissive in general , afraid of my parents and secure with my partner.

I took the long version and I'm fearful avoidant as expected, but act quite differently in different relationships.

I don't really know, but it kind of makes sense, right? If avoidants are not as able to form attachments, tend to be more hedonistic, spend a lot more time in their own heads, have less emotional intelligence etc, then it wouldn't be surprising if they had more narcissist traits. I'm not saying they have NPD, just that they might have more characteristics that are considered to be narcissistic. I also wonder how empathy fits into all of this, and how much empathy they are able to feel for others.

I'll try respond to your posts later today. I'd like to think over them first

low avoidance + high anxiety = preoccupied (which seems about right)

Do you find the results to be accurate in your case? According to the quiz I'm fearful-avoidant in general, dismissive-avoidant with parents, and anxious-preoccupied in relationships. I think that probably sounds about right.

I'm still trying to understand my relationship with my parents, because it's kind of weird... I've never been able to open up to either my mum or dad. I've always assumed this was normal, but I'm starting to realise maybe it's not. It's not like they're bad parents, I've never gone through any abuse or anything like that. They're both pretty passive I guess. We all live in the same house and just do our own thing. I personally don't have anything to complain about. But for some reason I don't feel much of an emotional connection with them. None of us really communicate with one another at that level. For example, my mum is being weird lately constantly saying "I love you", and I can't even respond because it's not really something I'm used to. I end up just saying "OK" and try to brush it off; I think she knows it makes me uncomfortable so I don't know why she does it. This is going to sound terrible but it's almost like I'm thinking... why are you saying that when it's not the norm for us? As if I think she must want something from me. All of this kind of makes me worried about how I'm going to be with my kids, because it sounds very, very dysfunctional.

Mine was:

In appearance yes in functioning no.

I took the narcissistic part of the longer test. I am dismissive at times but I don't have hardly any narcissistic traits. (It wasn't hard to determine which ones were narcissistic and which ones weren't)

I think there is danger in making such a correlation. Err, well there may be a correlation but it's not a given for everyone in this range. Yes I can be VERY dismissive and such but narcissism is about the extremes one goes to in order to avoid feelings of inferiority. I have the inferiority bit but my handling of it is pretty much 180 degrees away from narcissism.

I'm so jealous ...now you have to partner up with one of the other types and teach them how to be secure! You're our only hope! haha.

I think I have to find an INFP haha. Anyone interested? (?)

Fair enough, I don't really have any research or anything that I can reference so I wouldn't even try argue the point

Thankyou i'll have to give the book a go.

I do not know. I moved out at 18. My parents still make things up about me, it's very frustrating. Im also not satisfied in my romantic relationship however I am secure in it. I don't form friendships easily now.
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I had a very frustrating situation come up with my family and I'm trying to figure out where to post about it.

This. SO much this. It kept bugging me so much in answering! How secure (for instance) one feels can vary wildly based on such things. Especially when one is getting mixed and/or constantly changing messages. (And no, it's not crazy, but it feels that way. )
There almost has to be, doesn't there? Having a relationship with someone with lots of PD issues is going to affect the answers of their partner. Long before this test it was something that really struck me. For lack of a better word, let's say almost contagious. One might tend in other circumstances to feel secure (again, a for instance trait), but when the rug keeps randomly being pulled iout from under them? How can that not affect someone?! It's destabiling. They don't call it crazy-making behavior for nothing, you know? In answering the questions it was jumping out at me. One's answers might not be so much a reflection of them personally as a reflection of their dealing with the partner's PD issues.

In long term relationships anyway. I think it's probably most accurate for those with more "data". Their answers would seem more likely to show a trend with the common denominator being themselves.

Not sure this is making any sense.

Makes perfect sense to me!

Really interesting, thanks for posting.

I can't seem to save my results to my phone to paste up but mine were in the top left quarter, secure attachment. I've been in a relationship 22 years.

That's my romantic attachment, if the questions had been over friendships my answers would have been quite different (less secure, more anxious!)

Oh wow! Well, I know who I'll be bugging if I need relationship advice in the future

Apparently attachment styles can change so that should give you hope, I'm not sure if my attachment style has always been secure or if it became that way over the course of the relationship. We've had our moments but we've always worked at it.

Here's mine...



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You should take the long version. It breaks your results down by relationship type.

Today, I followed the link, created a pass word, took the long test, honoured the process and after answering all the questions the sight behaved as if it crashed.

I don't know if my answers were processed, I don't know what my test results are.

When I return and log in to the sight it behave as if it has crashed and a tow truck is still in the process of making its way to the wed sight.

I get it is an anxiety manifesting tester.

Well yes it works.. Well done.

Who ever designed it truly deserve the 2016 Nobel prize for: computer program engineering.

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I did the long test and I think it takes three goes to get a anxiety graph. Or perhaps it applies to the short test.

It seems interesting.

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http://www.web-research-design.net/crq/images/blank.gif

I got high anxiety and fearful avoidant. It doesn't surprise me. I don't plan on changing my ways till someone gives me a reason to. I find my reactions of this relate to my eating habits and my exercise habits of self hate I harbor.

If you're with a secure partner, then yup, definitely. Otherwise I think it's kinda difficult... but I guess it's possible. I suppose it also depends on how extreme your anxious or avoidant attachment is.