 |
| FAQ/Help |
| Calendar |
| Search |
|
#1
Dec 12, 2015, 10:27 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
I need an opinion about something. What does is mean when your boyfriend omits that he is out with another woman? This happened a lot over the last few years. My children would tell me about it. Now they are both in school. The other day my daughter was home from school sick. He told me that he took her to the mall. I found out from my daughter that another woman was with them and bought her all kinds of things...clothes etc.
Why does he leave this part out? He has done this many times with many different women. |
 avlady
|
|
#2
Dec 12, 2015, 12:10 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
I can't imagine what he must be thinking.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
__________________
Bipolar I, Depression, GAD Meds: Zoloft, Zyprexa, Ritalin "Each morning we are born again. What we do today is what matters most." -Buddha  |
|
#3
Dec 12, 2015, 12:13 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
Have you spoken to him about it? I would be fuming if it was me.
|
|
#4
Dec 12, 2015, 01:54 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
It means he cheats on you and figures the children are too young to figure it out and tattle tale.
I can't imagine it meaning anything else. Probably plays the "single dad sympathy card" with these women.
__________________
 DXD BP1, BPD & OCPD  "The best way to make it through with hearts and wrists in tact, is to realise, two out of three aint bad" FOB...
|
 spondiferous
|
|
#5
Dec 12, 2015, 01:56 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
He is cheating and you deserve better.
Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G900A using Tapatalk
__________________
http://silverneurotic.psychcentral.net/ |
|
#6
Dec 12, 2015, 02:15 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
In addition to everything else (cheating, guilty, etc) it also means he's pretty stupid.
|
| Trippin2.0
|
|
#7
Dec 13, 2015, 12:59 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
He is cheating.
If a man has female friends, his partner MUST know about them. The same goes for females who have male friends. Transparency is a must (but that doesn't mean that everything within the friendship must be shared, as long as things remain on a friendship level.)
__________________
Will work for bananas.
|
| spondiferous
|
|
#8
Dec 13, 2015, 06:54 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
He keeps his female friends a secret. When I am finally introduced (because I came home from work early or showed up at a place where I wasn't expected) its like a mass panic, he talks really fast, then runs off or tells me to get out of here. My kids are the ones who tell me that they have been over. I have confronted him in the past about cheeting and he says he isn't that they are just friends. I think he is cheating on me. He never takes me out. Never does anything for me. Never gives me time to go out. He shows up from work 4-6 hours late and says he is at the bar watching a football game. If I ask him to come home to watch the kids for something he refuses and tells me that I should just take them with me since he has brought them to the doctors. He makes a ton more money than me but refuses to pay for his own stuff like his car insurance. He tells me that I am greedy and selfish and all I care about is money when he cares about people. I do not feel that he cares about me. I think he has been taking advantage of me.
|
|
#9
Dec 13, 2015, 07:53 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Why are you with this guy?
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk |
| spondiferous, Trippin2.0
|
|
#10
Dec 13, 2015, 07:56 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Clearly cheating on you
Dx: BP2, PTSD, bulimia/anorexia Seroquel 150mgs Risperdal 4mg Trileptal 600mgs Buspar 45mgs Ativan 1mg PRN Vyvance 70mgs PRN |
|
#11
Dec 13, 2015, 08:12 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
It sounds like he's taking advantage of you.
AND setting a bad example for your kids. Your kids are going to learn that it's ok for a guy to have secret female friends and lie to his partner. Get out for your sake. Get out for their sake. You all deserve better!
__________________
Will work for bananas.
|
|
#12
Dec 13, 2015, 08:38 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Quote:
|
|
#13
Dec 13, 2015, 08:57 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Are these his kids or just yours? If they aren't his then I wouldn't let him and his women around them.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk |
|
#14
Dec 28, 2015, 03:55 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
I found out that he bought an expensive pair of boots for christmas. He lied to me about going over someone elses house. He told the kids to lie to me about being there. They begged me not to say anything to him. The only reason I found out was because he said that he was going to this friends house and that friends house. He never mentioned her house. The girls came home with pillow pets and he was behind me and I noticed that they looked at him and quickly they were quiet. I cant believe he told the kids to lie to me. I need a good lawyer.
|
|
#15
Dec 28, 2015, 04:56 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
I'm guessing he tells my this other woman that he's divorced/separated from you. Most women who know they are the other woman don't want to see the kids because they know the kids will tell their mom, and they most certainly aren't giving the kids Christmas presents! He's using you and lying to you, just as he's using her and lying to her. If you know who she is, you might want to inform her about how he really is.....of course after you kick him out and change the locks. And if she takes his side and defends him, she's a skank who deserves an @sshole like him!
__________________
Will work for bananas.
|
|
#16
Dec 28, 2015, 07:49 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Please take courage to end it with him
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk |
|
#17
Dec 28, 2015, 12:51 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
I found out that he bought an expensive pair of boots for her. He called me at work trying to find out what time I am going to be home and that he is going to this persons house and that persons house. My kids came running up to me saying look what we got. New pillow pets. I saw them look up and walk away. He was standing behind me telling them to be quiet. Later on I asked who gave you the pillow pets since he named a few different people that he was going to visit. They would not tell me and I said was it her house and thet begged me not to say anything. But I am dying inside. I guess her mother was the one who gave the kids the pillow pets and she did not give him anything. I now know it is him. All him that is obsessed with her. All his lies and excuses was all bs. All this is causing is for me to feel sick. I need a good lawyer.
|
|
#18
Dec 28, 2015, 12:59 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Time for a change. Be courageous.
__________________
Only that day dawns to which we are awake. — Henry David Thoreau |
|
#19
Dec 28, 2015, 01:02 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
He tells me it is ok because she is a lesbian and that I am just mad because I don't have someone like her. But he has been secretive about her from the start and not to mention she is 24 and he is 43. I remember a few years ago he was talking on the phone with one of his coworkers and he was telling him how little and cute she is and what a joy it is to have a young woman on the crew. So that has always been in my mind too.
|
|
#20
Dec 28, 2015, 02:12 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Are you two married? If not then what gives? Just kick him out like today. Be done.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk |
| Serzen
|
|
#21
Dec 28, 2015, 02:48 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
The kids are both of ours and basically from what I have read up on we are legally bound by the common law marraige. I want a better life for the kids and I would have to leave the state in order to do that. I need a good lawyer that can tell me what my rights are. I talked to one and he said I would have to file for divorce. I just don't have the cash for even a consulut. He leaves me with almost all the bills while he makes more money than me and does not put anything in the house like repairs. We bought the house together but got his name off the mortgage years ago. I had no choice but to go along with it since he wasn't paying anyway and I had a new baby to take care of and I couldn't afford the current payment . I feel like I am trapped and there is no way out.
|
|
#22
Dec 28, 2015, 03:13 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Depends on a state. There is no common law in Michigan.
There is always a way out. It might be tough but doable. I am not sure how you have to get divorce if you aren't even married. I lived with my ex for 9 years, granted we weren't married and had no kids together. I just moved out to my own apartment. Gave him 30 days notice and that was it. Since you have kids you can't just take them away from him. But you are not obligated to live with him You sure need to apply for child support. See a lawyer who provides free or inexpensive consultation. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk |
|
#23
Dec 28, 2015, 08:41 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Quick google search.....
Have you presented yourselves as husband and wife to the world? This is huge in determining if you have a common law marriage. If you're just cohabitating, that's not enough to establish a common law marriage, no matter how long you've lived together.
__________________
Will work for bananas.
|
|
#24
Dec 29, 2015, 10:33 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
No way we do not. I dont know what to call him now. Maybe a roommate?
I know in the state that I live in we are bound by the common law thing. The things I was suckered into makes me sick. I was young, stupid and following the advise of a professional who did not disclose the effects in doing what we did. I confronted him last night about lying to me about her. He said some very mean and hurtful things to me again. Why? Because he was caught lying again? I know now it is him that is after her. I think she just uses him since he has been chasing after her for years now. |
|
#25
Dec 29, 2015, 11:02 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Just be gone. If house is on your name only then I guess you can evict him. Go see a lawyer and don't have sex with him, it's unsafe
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk |
| Reply |
This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
|
My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.
Linear Mode
