[JJWuing]

Greetings.

I am experiencing anger / anxiety feeling to let go of my previous
relationship and move on to the next step, I wonder if you can share
your thoughts on dealing with anger feelings.

I know the best thing to do is to forgive this man who hurt me
emotionally, I also need to forgive myself for putting myself in that
situation and did not leave earlier..

Here are the thoughts / events:

-I have dated with man for over 2 and a half years, I was never
invited to his apartment, when I eventually showed up at place to
work out the issues, he called the police to get me out of his
apartment parking lot.

-Whatever he told his employer about our relationship, his employer
told me they would call the police if I call this man at work.

- In spite of the police involvement, which he ended up taking me
home, we sort of got back to each other three weeks later; he did not
feel comfortalbe of letting his roommate (cousin) and employer know
that we were back to each other's life. That hurt my self-image, and
self-worth, and thus, trigged major episodes of depressions.

-I helped this man and his cousin on immigration applications, as the
result, he received U.S. citizenship, and the cousin, received
permanant residency.

- When I had my episodes of depression, I had trouble eating, I
stayed in bed several days, and when I called him for help ( I also
called crisis line), he hanged up on me, and changed the phone
number.

I am grateful I made it out of the depression and am able to eat
normally again. I just don't understand how a person can walk away
from a desperate cry for help, I almost died at that time. Even a
strager from crisis line / church offer help, why a man I was
involved over 2 and 1/2 years, the one I help him to get his
citizenship, would to be cruel and chose to let me die, with the
knowledge I have no one else to help me / bring me food...

I know Carolyn Myss mentioned the task is to focus on one became
stronger because what happened, not to ask why it happened...

I just want to calm my emotions. I am willing to forgive, for my own
sake.

Thank you.

JJ

[TYMBERWOLV]

jj,

i AM WILLING TO TALK WITH U AND HELP YOU OUT THRU THESE FEELINGS OF ANGER ... PLEASE PM ME AND WE CAN SCHEDULE SOMETIME TO TALK MORE IN DETAIL ABOUT IT




TYMBER

[Direction]

Gosh that is a lot to deal with...Glad you were able to post...you will find a lot of people here at PC that are willing to help...You may also PM me or post if you would like...by the way Tymber is one of the good guys...

[JJWuing]

Hi,

Thank you for offering to help. I am in Dallas, TX. Where are you?

Please call me when you have a moment.

Thanks again.

JJ
Please pm me for my phone number. Thanks!


jj,

i AM WILLING TO TALK WITH U AND HELP YOU OUT THRU THESE FEELINGS OF ANGER ... PLEASE PM ME AND WE CAN SCHEDULE SOMETIME TO TALK MORE IN DETAIL ABOUT IT




TYMBER

[Direction]

If not to late to edit...it probably is best not to give out personal phone numbers...do you know how to use the private message function?

[KathyM]

JJ

I've felt that rejection before, and it's not fun. When my relationship with my ex-husband was falling apart, I felt like my heart had been ripped out and stepped on many times. We wasted many years together, and it turns out he wasn't able to love me the way I needed him to love me - and I wasn't able to love him the way he needed me to love him. I wanted commitment, he wanted freedom. I wanted to be in his heart as he was in mine, but we can't control the emotions and feelings of others. In the end our paths were just different. I'm glad we didn't stay together because I never would have found true love if we had.

Personally, I think you dodged a bullet with this guy. He won't even let you into his home, let alone his heart, so why would you expect him to care about you? Why would you even want a man like that in your life - one who would turn his back when you're in need?

He doesn't sound like he's worth all the energy you're exerting over him. He sounds more like a future funny story to tell when people ask "Who's the biggest loser you've ever dated?"

Take out your anger and get back at him by pampering yourself. Find constructive, positive indulgent, and fun things to do instead of wasting time thinking of him. If you're the physical type, take a kickboxing class and beat all memory of him to a pulp. Give yourself the love you were looking for in him.

[JJWuing]

Kathy,

This is the best advice I received ever since I reached out for help! You actually brought a smile on my face.

Going through my feelings (in this case, anger) does not mean I consider my self as a victim, I do want to move on. I think I am actually moving on....

With Appreciation,

JJ

I've felt that rejection before, and it's not fun. When my relationship with my ex-husband was falling apart, I felt like my heart had been ripped out and stepped on many times. We wasted many years together, and it turns out he wasn't able to love me the way I needed him to love me - and I wasn't able to love him the way he needed me to love him. I wanted commitment, he wanted freedom. I wanted to be in his heart as he was in mine, but we can't control the emotions and feelings of others. In the end our paths were just different. I'm glad we didn't stay together because I never would have found true love if we had.

Personally, I think you dodged a bullet with this guy. He won't even let you into his home, let alone his heart, so why would you expect him to care about you? Why would you even want a man like that in your life - one who would turn his back when you're in need?

He doesn't sound like he's worth all the energy you're exerting over him. He sounds more like a future funny story to tell when people ask "Who's the biggest loser you've ever dated?"

Take out your anger and get back at him by pampering yourself. Find constructive, positive indulgent, and fun things to do instead of wasting time thinking of him. If you're the physical type, take a kickboxing class and beat all memory of him to a pulp. Give yourself the love you were looking for in him.