So worried about my future

Don't worry about saying the right thing, it's what you feel is right and I'm just extremely sensitive right now. Thank you for your support, I guess I should be happy for my ex narc, but he didn't treat me well and so I don't feel he deserves it, but maybe that's me being selfish

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Only Human, you truly are feeling your biological clock and the urgings of motherhood. That is the basis why we are. And i pray that you find someone else to share your life with. People can be very disappointing, even those we love or think that we love. I say just stop looking and be happy and content with what you have. As you heal in this way someone will come into your life when you stop looking and least expect it. It seems to happen that way all the time. Blessings and tc

Thank you for your kind words. I think I will try and work on myself and try and live a full life without focusing so much worry on ending up lonely. I already feel quite lonely, it's hard sat eating dinner, watching tv and having nobody physically there to talk to and be with. I'm good on my own and I like my own company,, but to a point. That's why I try and read to escape for a bit.

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Awwww!!!
I'm sorry, hun!!

Just know that depression will do this to a person. Everything in your life seems bad when you are suffering from it, and life becomes one big gray area of hopelessness rather than individual parts that we can work on.

All we can do is have faith that things will improve.
hugs.

Don't be sorry, it was meant as compliment, as what you said was so nice.

I feel that I can't look at anything rationally at the moment and everything seems so bleak. I am trying to work on myself and do everything I can to give me the best chance of one day meeting that special someone and handling it properly.

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Listen to your guts when you start dating again and don't settle. Now you might want to talk to your doctor as you said you are on medication but it doesn't seem to be as helpful? Have you told your doctor about the way you feel?

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I will definitely do that and I need to start loving myself (which isn't easy and won't come overnight) before I get into anything else, otherwise I will settle, as I have little self worth at the moment. I always assume the problem lies with me when someone ends a relationship with me. Everybody knows the old 'it's not you, it's me' is a load of rubbish and I try and figure out what they didn't like about me and punish myself for doing or saying the wrong thing.

Yes I've told him on several occasion when I've felt like this in the past (it's ongoing really) but haven't been to him for a few months. I'm almost ashamed as I worry he'll think 'oh God, here we go again' but I know he's a fantastic doctor and very good to me so he wouldn't actually say that or come across that way. He tends to up my meds when I get bad and I'm currently on 40 mg a day of Citalopram, but I feel it makes me quite irritable and I can find myself getting angry at people for no apparent reason. I would never shout at anyone or hurt anyone, but I can come across rude and short and that's so not me.



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Good luck. You seem to be already on a right track. Do try meetup ( I assume there are some in your area). When I was single I found two groups of all women. I still see them but not as often, maybe once a month now but I used to literally do something every week. I was also surprised I was not the only single woman lol I always assumed everyone is married. Look it up. Not with the whole idea of dating but just having fun with girls

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Note that I didn't read anyone's replies but I just wanted to give my quick two cents. First question is why has he moved on and you're still struggling? Is it a jealousy thing because he found someone else? If you're struggling as much as you say then you should seek therapy.

You remind me a lot of myself actually. I've been to therapy because I've had trouble moving on. There's nothing wrong with it just be honest with yourself.

I'm 28, never married and no kids. It's sooo hard finding men in this stage in life that don't have kids like myself. I often feel so out of the convo when my co workers are sharing stories about their kids or husbands and I have nothing to say at all. First I told myself I'd have my first kid at 25 and now my goal is 30 but from years of being on birth control plus psych meds, I haven't had my period in a year now and at this point I'm questioning if I can even have kids!

My bf has been married and has two kids of his own. Because I have no kids I feel like it's keeping me from getting close to or understanding his children. It really sucks and I often find myself "faking it" for him. Like yea I love when your kids are over and turn the house upside down and don't listen, not! The other day I was so stressed and overwhelmed by his kids being here that I left my house and hung out at my dads for awhile. It's not easy trying to be an insta-mom!

And good news for us, studies show that people are actually getting married and having children at a later age now so don't be so hard on yourself!

Take care of your mental health first before you rush into a relationship with the next guy just because you feel behind. Mental health is something you can't rush. Imagine marrying someone you end up hating in 5 years! Yuck!

Thank you, at least I know I'm doing something right and that's a relief. So often I panic that my life is slipping through my hands and I'm just messing it up. I will definitely try doing more social things. I have joined the gym (and go lol), got my evening job and I looked on meetup and they have good book clubs in my area, so I think I will try that. Thank you so much for being there for me and your advice. It might seem like I'm being defensive a lot of the time, but I guess the truth hurts and I do really appreciate it.


I don't know why I'm still struggling. I guess because he came back into my life every time (we were on and off for 4 years and he came back 3 times), I always assumed he would see how great I was and want me back, but I guess it's hard to accept that he's found someone better. The thing is, about 2 months before he got engaged he was telling me he loved me and even when he told me the news, he said that he will always have a special place in his heart for me. He's not treated me well in the past and he's a cheat, a compulsive liar, borderline alcoholic (he was banned from driving due to drink driving) verbally abusive at times and overall does bad things, so I just it hard to accept that someone who's like that ends up happy and I end up like I am. I know that's jealousy and yeah I guess I am envious, but I'm old fashioned and believe that good things should happen to good people.

It must be hard for you having to take on his children. I think you can try and love those children as your own, but it is definitely more challenging. My friend feels the same about her step children, but she realises that they are part of her husband, so she does everything for him.

Have you seen the doctor about your periods ? I wouldn't worry too much, but it's definitely something to check. My sister had stopped having a period for a few years due to anorexia, but they then started up again once she got herself straight and had my niece several years later.

Thank you for your kind words and I know there is still hope for me, but it's looking slim. However, I will try and work on myself.

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