What a let down. Been emling 2 1/2 years and finally hooked up;-(

Meeting someone for sex...you sound very desperate. Sorry.

But have you told your husband what you are doing?

The way I see it, you can be annoyed at being led on, but you really can't be annoyed if you are doing the same thing.

I have no idea why I think this way....

Anyway. I'm glad you're thinking about this. Good luck to you in sorting things out It's not easy, for sure.

I don't understand how being a mediocre lover is deceptive?

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I like what Lefty said. At least I don't have to shave the back of the King of the Sack.

I guess I'm the only person on earth looking to get Laid. I'm a bipolar specialty. No one with mania has ever tried sex,according to you.

The daily emls were all teasing suggestions of his sexual prowess. I didn't ask him to flirt and tell me how great he was at making women have multiple orgasms.

Never mind.......

Well that answers how it was deceptive. I've never made claims about bipolar and sex, so I'll stand on this side of the attack statement.


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To all honesty you said people judge you and you yourself aren't judgemental yet you criticized size of this guys penis calling his thing tiny even though he clearly can't do anything about it.

You also criticized his ability to maintain erection even though it was his first time with you and he might have plenty of reasons to have ED that night.

You also are upset about his dishonesty and dishonesty of others on the Internet yet you are dishonest with your own husband. I am just confused why you expect something from others if you don't practice it yourself.

Also quality of sex is very subjective. I shared on other thread of yours that my fiancée thought of himself as a bad lover ( not man enough) because that how his abusive ex wife referred to him. He also apparently had ED with her. I don't even understand it as in my books he is absolutely great and I am yet to see any ED. It's all very subjective. Plus not everyone is good first time. People are often nervous.

Overall you always run a risk having sex with strangers. It could have ended worse. Much worse.

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I am here to be honest with you guys. Not anyone else.

I have mental illness. Bipolar. I don't share that with everyone either. Does that mean I'm deceitful. No just my desire to keep some things secret.

My husband knows as much as he needs to know. He deceived me at the time of our engagement. I don't hold it against him. But I might be upset when I talk to you guys because you're the support group.

I share lots with you guys that I don't tell my other friends. I rely on support.

I support your struggle with bipolar. It is not something easy to live with. And I support you in staying safe. You had sex with stranger and he turned out to be not so good. I don't see it as something tragic. I am actually glad it ended this way, at least you are safe and unharmed. I support you in that sense, in a sense that you are safe.

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We're all members on a mental health forum. Many here have a greater sense of various illnesses than the average person in society.

I don't believe it's deceitful to not wear a mental health label accross ones forehead. If anything, it makes relationships more humanistic. Plus, as far as this thread goes, I didn't bring that word up first.

Support isn't always coddling nor purely only validation. Support can be challenging in a group setting. Asking a question doesn't equal judgement. Typically more information is needed for whomever asks the question.

2 years of emotional intimacy to one night in bed that flopped, literally and figuratively doesn't seem to match the op where this man's name is practically blasted over the internet. Maybe he thought he had prowess? I wasn't there that night, neither was anyone else. But is this really about the man's package or is there something else about the entire experience that really seems to upset you to no avail?

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I don't know any men who can give multiple orgasms ( or even one)to a woman the very first time sleeping with her, more so meting her the very first time. I think it's unrealistic expectation. People need to get to know each other intimately

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It was the shaved back. The stumble everywhere. The kissing sucked. It was the pinching and slapping foreplay. It went on all afternoon.

I have trouble with disappointment of any kind.
Also I always think things what ever they are are going to turn out great.
Thanks for understanding. I'll get over it.

I think it depends on the woman?

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I think that I'd be ticked off, as well, if I flew out of my way to only be manhandled and with no regard for my personal satisfaction.

I was a little worried that he had crossed some line. But if it's purely disappointment, it is what it is.

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Keep some viagra and stuff on hand for the next time you're trying to sleep with random dudes from the internet I guess.

Steiner. After 2 years celibate, without so much as a hug, that's a great idea. Buy some viagra. I don't think you even need a script for it.

I don't think it matters if you meet at church,a bar, Internet or gym.
People are what they are. It's up to me to either not meet anyone. Lower my expectations or just stay depressed because I don't have a human touch in my life.

Too bad the guy I used to go fishing with every day died. It's complicated but was like a prolonged suicide. Hurt me deeply.

I'm apologizing for criticizing you for seeking sex. But you know, the way you went about this, there's really no emotional fulfillment.

It's ok seeker. You look for what you want to add to your life in your own way.

My life is so complicated and the bipolar adds to the general confusion and either ecstatic mood or deeply depressed. Even with the meds.

I have some friends I could turn into friends with benifits that I used to go with 35 yrs ago.
But in my youth a lot of people liked fooling around without actual penetration.

I had envisioned a step forward with new pilot guy from the eml deal.

I don't want a step back to friends with benifits even though it's more safe and I know them.

Pinching and slapping is a no no in my books. Shaved back is pretty gross too. Sloppy kissing might be fixed, don't know.

Overall if you knew a guy and dated him you would know he is a bad kisser or likes it rough etc ( maybe wouldn't know about shaved back).

Bottom line is you didn't know the guy and went straight to bed, have never seen or touched him.

Of course you discovered things that you would probably know already if you dated him first.

Shaved back and slapping is the least trouble here, he could be a serial killer a sadist and who knows who else.

I have nothing against casual sex at all. If both people are ok with it ( and their partners if they have them). But you still need to know them. Otherwise it's too dangerous

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Maybe some can have it with a guy they never met before and just had one night stand and still have multiple orgasms the very first time. Can you? With a guy you see the first time and don't even find attractive etc? Plus after alcohol?


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Beats me, if I can with a stranger or a one night stand.

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I took him ocean swimming. He managed to keep up with me. I had my caretaker here and the gun handy if he was going to be weird.
We spent two days making and simmering a sauce for speg. He froze and brought parmasan cheese from Costco. He loved the dinner.

I also checked him out thru California State Bar ***. And his web site for legal practice and his Pilots Licence.
I had a lot of time. So it wasn't exactly like picking up a guy at a bar and bringing him home.

I just wanted this liaison to work. For here. For travel in his plane. For California. And Nevada. And Palm Springs. We both like cross country skiing. ( usually meet people who only like downhill.
We knew the same restaurants,hotels and points of interest. I used to live around the corner from his law office. Now I'm about 20 min away cuz in CA l live close to the beach.
I bought him fresh oranges to squeeze in electric thing. Cuz he said he didn't drink coffee.
I made him homade macaroni and cheese with some other cheese he brought.
His law cases were interesting to me cuz I'm a RE Broker. He's a RE Lawyer.

Online he was always polite. Me too. We were careful not to be too nosey.
Now he told me he has a grown son and ex wife.

So, he was what I was looking for. A local successful intelligent man who had at least as much money or more. We both love sports cars.

So that's why I fantasized about our future before I met him face to face.

You know the rest. At least I don't have to shave the back of the King of the sack!

Well then one bad sex experience can't really mean that much if everything else is good?

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I don't think he needs any more friends.
He was looking for a compatible sex partner on his level of intelligence too.
I sent him an eml to be nice. Asked if he and his friends had a chance to swim in the waters off Jaco ( 90 min ) from here. He emled back and said they did. I won't be emling him again. He told me he'd give me a ride in the Lamborghini. I told him I'd bring his swim suit back in May.

Didn't you make a thread on the Bipolar forum about your husband might be retiring? If so will you be able to get involved with other men for the intimate part of your marriage that your husband doesn't /can't satisfy?