[Artchic528]

I don't know how to exactly put this into words, but I'm in a deep inner conflict. I feel horrible about even being in this particular conflict.

I'm on OKCupid and this guy sends me a message. He even talks about an anime I've been meaning to watch. Sounds good, right? Well, I fear I'm being judgmental and hating myself for it. I must be an awful person, right?

The thing is, I'm sometimes attracted to black guys, so it shouldn't be a huge deal, so why am I making it one? Being a white woman, I shouldn't be making it one. I'm such an awful person for even debating this. I know I'm going to get so much hate.

[doyoutrustme]

are you saying you're not attracted to him?

[divine1966]

If you aren't interested in dating men of different race then you don't have to. It's not being judgmental but just have preferences. But it seems that you really do want to meet someone yet you find excuses why things might not work before you even try. Like one guy was too heavy and this one is of a different race etc etc

I think on dating sites you can put preferences and state that you don't want specific race or religion etc

when I did online dating I had preference of specific level of education that is acceptable to me. Like nothing below that would work, so then people wouldn't show in my searches and wouldn't contact me and I wouldn't have to respond. That isn't being judgmental but just knowing what doesn't work for you. You just have to be up front.

You do have to be reasonable though.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[A Red Panda]

What's the harm in meeting in person? Maybe appearance won't matter once you meet. Maybe it will. You'll find out. It's common for online dates to result in no chemistry in person.

[Artchic528]

Thanks for responding guys. I replied to his message. It seems we also share a love of the arts, as in painting and drawing and such. Maybe I make excuses so I won't have to feel the disappointment if things don't work out. I'm in no huge rush to get into anything serious, but I do want to meet people. Anyways, I feel better. Thanks.

I am white and am predominantly attracted to white people. Some people like fat people, some people like skinny people, some care about money, some don't. The list goes on.

Date someone you are attracted to.

[seeker1950]

I'm no longer trying to meet men, been there, done that. But I have to say I do have one friend on FB, a Black man from a family I know where I grew up, who is SO intelligent, SO articulate, so insightful. He really dispells any qualms I would have about dating him, if he were available. He's happily married, and, of course, we are just FB friends. I just admire his integrity and intellect. I've never dated anyone of a different race, but knowing of this man, I can see how one could form a bond without race being an issue.

[eskielover]

They wouldn't provide the list of preferences if it wasn't ok for people to select them.

Even if I were available to date, I wouldn't after so many years in a bad marriage & even having been separated for over 8 years, I really have no interest in having any emotionally involved relationship with anyone. I am involved in so many groups & community activities where I meet all kinds of people & I have friends that are guys if I need any help that I physically am unable to do though that usually doesn't happen after having a totally useless H for 33 years, I learned pretty much how to do everything myself. I'm really enjoying an uncomplicated life & have no vision of that desire changing any time soon.

[Steiner of Thule]

Yeah don't let race get in the way if you can because it can end up leading to regret.

I am sometimes told that when one goes black one cannot go back. Could you confirm this ?

[Steiner of Thule]

Originally Posted by Illegal Toilet

I am sometimes told that when one goes black one cannot go back. Could you confirm this ?

Though in this case maybe this guy could use a little bit of that white sugar. Nomsayin.

[divine1966]

Originally Posted by Illegal Toilet

I am sometimes told that when one goes black one cannot go back. Could you confirm this ?

Oh please. People are people. We aren't that different. I don't find men of different races that different. Good man is good man and a jerk is a jerk

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[healingme4me]

There's exceptions to every rule.

OP, if you like the guy and there's chemistry, fine. But if something isn't quick clicking/connecting then it probably is just about personality and connection than anything else.

Sent from my LGMS631 using Tapatalk