Do emotional people annoy you or not?

Sometimes it seems like a lot of people that I know, or knew didn't like the fact that I tend to be an emotional person. It seems like most people tend to view emotional people as being weak and out of control. I'm usually not overly emotional, but I am sensitive to behaviour that I see as being rude, mean, selfish, dismissive, etc....

I've been told that I'm to sensitive and intense, and a few times, needy and clingy. I don't think that I'm that needy or clingy just for wanting some emotional support and wanting someone to listen to me talk about my problems once in awhile. I'm not a robot afterall.

I don't talk about my problems all the time, so I don't get where that comes from. It seems like a lot of people tend to keep their problems to themselves mostly, even with family and close friends. My husband hates it when I get emotional. Is that a guy thing or just him maybe? He's very stoic most of the time. He hates it when I so much as talk a little louder and in a panic when I'm really worried and stressed out. He'll tell me to calm down which never helps. It just makes me upset.

I hate it when people tell you to chill out when you're upset about something instead of asking what's wrong, or try to resolve whatever the problem is w/o being condescending. I don't appreciate being talked down to like I'm some stupid child who's throwing a "temper tantrum" when all I'm trying to do is express myself. I can't always be calm when I'm upset. I don't think that I overreact to most situations, but then again, maybe some people think that I do?

If you're like me, I'd like to hear your stories. If emotional people tend to annoy and upset you, then please explain why they do and give examples of people being overly emotional and how you deal with them. I feel like sometimes this is why some people avoid me. Idk. I don't think that I'm to much, but in a world to where so many people tend to bury their emotions in work, denial, drugs, booze, etc...I'm kind of in the minority it seems like. I wish I could be more like everyone else usually. It sucks to be emotional at times. Life would be easier if I didn't care that much about most things that don't really affect me personally.

I'm like you and have asked myself the exact SAME questions over and over again for years
Two insights I had on the way:

- The people who seemed to get really uncomfortable with my being emotional had their own troubles they didn't or couldn't talk about at that time. Of course I only found that out later. It isn't always possible to listen and communicate when you have your head full

- It is really hard to read someones behaviour when there's lots of emotion involved. It IS stressful to deal with another person's emotions.

So I constantly find myself on both sides of the table. I try to understand the other person, but also I refuse to give up on expressing my feelings. On the other hand, I can't be a good supporter at all times myself. To a certain extent, to have authentic relationships it is necessary to talk about the real stuff I think. But it has to be a process in which both parties need to show respect for boundaries.
Just my 2 cents Thank you for starting this thread, I'll be following!

Yes, they annoy me haha. To each one his own.

Personally, it depends on how the emotional side exhibits itself. If it's because of a sad or stressful event, that's fine. If it's crying for 2 hours after I did something nice for them, then that's not fine.

Yes, thank you for starting this thread and I'll be following too! I couldn't agree with you more >^..^<

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In a sense I'm kind of on both sides of this emotional coin, but not exactly, not in a black and white way at least... Geez I don't even know how or where to begin.


Ok, so I'm very good at shoving down day to day negative emotions because they're highly uncomfortable and I plain just dislike them. Learned this trick during childhood, early teens, because my mother was not a fan of my emotions. I'm trying to remove this functionality from its automatic setting.


Then in the same breath, my emotions tend to explode when my BP or BPD beasts rear their ugly heads and I become hard to deal with.


Mostly people either don't know what to do with me, or I shut them out and don't allow anyone to see me like that. Not because I'm ashamed I'll be portrayed as weak, but because I don't know how to really be vulnerable to an audience and when my vulnerability has no clear cut explanation, it just complicates the shyt out of everything.


Besides from my mother (many moons ago) nobody has expected, asked, or demanded I just chill out when I am very clearly upset.


Then there's another breath here...

Other people being emo doesn't necessarily annoy me per se (unless I'm already in an agitated mood state that is) but it does get to me, like seriously.

When someone's angry, it's easy for me to get pissed off on their behalf, when they're sad, it doesn't take much for me to cry with them. You don't have to be particularly close to me for me to have such visceral reactions.


So imagine how confusing group sessions are for me some days!


What I do find annoying where emotions are concerned, is when people b!tch and moan about the same shyt different day, instead of doing something about whatever it is that pains them.


Hope that made sense.

It's a tricky concept...

I'm a pretty sensitive guy, but I tend not to show it. It's sort of a guy thing when it comes to appearing stoic. We still haven't really evolved out of the stereotype that boys and men are supposed to be tough. While it is progressing better these days, but for whatever reason it's still typically viewed negatively.
I think also a lot of guys (myself included) tend to be much more prideful than women.

Anyways, I think the average person may find dealing with some one emotional slightly distressing. They may not know how to help or that have their own issues so they don't want to have to deal with some one else's. Another possibility is that they are reserved on helping because if they do it once... there is a pretty good chance they will come back to you again. Think about it... if you were the person that actually decided to help, you would most likely to be the first that they will go back to. So they probably don't want to having to keep dealing with the person, probably because if they turn them down the next time they end up feeling guilty over it.

When it comes to some one telling you to calm down or relax... it depends on the person sometimes. For example say.. a co-worker tells you this. It's sort of a default response because they probably don't understand or are able to empathize with your situation. So the "knee-jerk" response is to just say to calm down or relax, because that's all they know that they can do. So for those kind of people, try the best you can to not take it personal. Which can be hard to do some times, believe me lol.
Now if it came from your husband... Hmm, well I don't know the circumstances so let me take a shot in the dark here. He may have told you that in hopes that if you are more calm, you would be able to better explain what the deal is. Maybe the reason he is so stoic about it because logically it doesn't make sense for the both of you to be stressing out.
I know it tends to drive guys nuts when their wife/girlfriend tells them "It stresses me out that you aren't stressed out!!" The claim that guys don't care. Personally, that's just an absurd argument. There's a huge difference about not caring and being calm about a situation. You should NEVER force stress on some one else just because you are.

But I suppose that is just my opinion.

Pollyannas bother me more

It's just another kind of emotional.

Yeah, I have a short tolerance for too much emotional drama. Probably comes from spending way too much time with teenagers (24/7 actually). I have an extreme amount of patience, but sometimes enough is enough already.

Edited to add: Sorry, you asked us to be specific about what gets annoying. I guess for me it is the melodrama over relatively small matters. I mean, if a person gets all upset over something trivial, how the heck are they going to deal with life when life gets real on them? It guess it's a perspective thing. I have a husband who has lived in chronic debilitating pain for 31 years. I have friends who have terminally ill children, spouses, etc. I have a friend going through a heart transplant. I have friends who have lost their jobs and are struggling to make ends meet. My cousin lost her house in a devastating 100-year flood. My future daughter-in-law's best friend has just been diagnosed with a very rare disease that has had her confined to a hospital bed since January. Etc, etc, etc.

So then I run into someone throwing a fit because someone didn't "like" their post on FB, or freaking out because they got a C on that test instead of an A, or crying buckets because their friend said something to them they didn't like. I get those things are upsetting, but when the reaction is so far out of proportion to the actual severity and seriousness of the event, I just want to say "Take a deep breath, go find something else to think about for awhile, and this too shall pass." I don't (unless it is someone I know well enough to feel free to speak to that way), but it sure crosses my mind. It's fine to be upset, but somewhere a person has to gain some perspective or life is going to really be a shocker down the road when something truly upsetting and life changing actually happens . . . and it will.

I'm relating very well to lola's post.

I'm not typically a very worked up type of person, rather calm, mellow, low key. So, if I have someone telling me to calm down if I am passionately discussing a topic that has me well, feeling passionate and I want to be heard, need to be heard, I'd get a bit put off. Probably close down to them completely. Hearing me out, tends to be what works wonders. That moment shall pass.

On a flip side. Went to an event around the holidays. And witnessed a family member flip their lid right before halftime that they guys were enjoying because her kids hadn't hopped in the shower yet. It was a bit of a zealous overreaction. She did cry on it later. I showed her where to tell game time...

Lola said perfectly, what my scattered brain could not.


Also agree with Nammu, I have a very low tolerance for Pollyannas.


People like the ones in their examples just have me thinking "Wow, do you even live in the real world?..."


*shakes head in dismay

I don't mind emotional people. I do mind negative people though and stir away from them. I get emotional at graduations and weddings etc but I don't get dramatic over minor things.

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Only my mom comes to mind as being overly emotional in general. Yes, she is very annoying. She is too easily offended, thinks everything is a conspiracy, goes off on people telling them off and making a scene, rants about all the injustices in her life and how miserable she is, keeps telling the same stories over and over during these rants until I got PTSD from it, her face is contorted into a sour puss, she screams and curses at mostly my dad, she only wants to talk about her books that she writes and how great they are.

I have had to learn to keep a distance and only see her briefly.

But, no, emotional people don't annoy me. In my job I deal with very emotional people and I am very good with them. I feel for them and try to ease their stress the best I can.

I consider myself emotional. But usually I withdraw when I get emotional, and isolate myself. I think men tend to keep things to themselves in real life. I try to accommodate emotional people, but I have limits regarding the number of times, and how long it takes each time.

it depends on my mood. But I can be that way too.

Thanks for all the great responses everyone. Right now I'm having some really annoying internet connection issues despite having gotten a new router yesterday. I might be kicked off again at any second now.

So I'll try to come back here tomorrow and respond to some of the posters on here.

I find white people esp. From the upper and middle classes very contained,not as emotional,etc etc,same with asians very contained.
but not so the White lower classes they are wild and very emotional have fights etc.
Im very emotional and romantic and I have no interest in becoming a cold,rational,robot.
You go girl!

You are so right about this,everyone is burying their emotions in addictions.

Humans are emotional animals, but some learn to channel their emotions in more acceptable and beneficial ways. It doesn't mean that they are cold or robots, and I don't think it depends on class or color or ethnicity.

I think it is generalization and stereotyping to talk about specific cultures and race being certain way about their emotions. I am middle class white Jewish, sure I am not overly dramatic and practically never fight or engage in drama. But it doesn't mean I am robotic and lack emotions. I don't know what race has to to with it. It's just who I am.

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I didn't say white or asian people were robots just that they were more contained.
I referred to myself as excessively emotional and not very rational or robotic generally,I remember a girl saying she was with her aspie bf and he felt very much like an automon or robot to her because he was so rational and emotionless she had to break up with him.

Some cultures are more tolerant to expressing emotions than others, but this doesn't mean that they are more contained. Suppressing emotions isn't healthy.

Most likely you are excessively emotional not because you are not Asian or upper class white, but for other reasons.

Also just because people are contained in public it doesn't mean they have no emotions. There is time and place for everything. Some people are better behaved in public than others. You have no clue what they do in privacy of their home.

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I think putting up a front and being mannered is wrong and false.

So being mannered is wrong and false? Do you work? What type of job do you do? You are not well mannered at work?

You don't consider being poorly mannered at work is wrong? Most professional places would not tolerate bad manners as it is detrimental for others ( unless of course your job don't involve people at all). I can't imagine it would be ok for me to be poorly mannered at work. Why? Do you think it's ok for let's say pediatrician or a nurse to have bad manners with their patients?

Also you don't believe that many people might be naturally well behaved and are not putting up front? I have good manners naturally. In my 50 years of life I behaved poorly maybe only few times, I don't see how it's false?

Do you think most people are naturally have poor manners? What do you base your observation on?


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