[elevatedsoul]

well, i have made a few accounts on a few of these dating websites but i never tried to message anyone because honestly i didnt think they would message back anyway...

but on this new site i just joined not long ago, trying to cheer myself on - cheer myself up - trick myself into thinking that i could meet a girl- and that kind of thing, i logged in earlier and was just looking around... answering some of the quiz questions they have to match you with people or whatever...

and this girls profile popped up, ordinarily i just shrug them off like "mm she's cute, i could see myself with someone like her" blablabla that nonsense stuff, but it was a little different this time...
when i saw her picture it just struck me in a weird way, she's a little different... i read her profile and compared our match / questions stuff and we have like so much in common it was crazy, i started feeling super attracted to her because of the way she had answered those questions... the website says that we are 89% match, which i guess we have agreed on 89% of the questions...

but anyway, i digress...

so i have never messaged anyone on these websites before, but after seeing all that i had to TRY atleast to message her... so i wrote out a good message, lengthy but tried not to write too long so i didnt scare her off... but lnog enough to try to prove that im not just trying to get nude pictures or hook up for 1 night stand...

now im just nervous as to what she's going to think about what i wrote, or if she is going to reply...
i've never really attempted to contact anyone on a dating site... and im a little shy and dealing with depression and stuff which im trying to keep at bay so that doesn't hurt any chances of her getting to know the real me (not the depression) and maybe her being attracted to me in some form or way, she seems like a cool person so even if there is no relationship involved i would like to be friends with her, i dont meet anyone that is interested in the stuff that i am ever

im so attracted to her personality i just wanna squeeze her!!
she's also phsyically attractive but she dresses different and does makeup and stuff different so she stands out a little... which i can see some people not really liking... but it just really struck me

have any of you used any of these dating websites and actually talked to anyone on them?
how often do people respond to messages? she seems to be looking for a genuine people / friends / partner...
i would really like to talk to her!
she could be my nerd and i could be her dork!
thinking about it makes my heart smile

im just wondering how i can improve my chances of talking with her, im not good at relationship stuff or introductions or getting to know people or any of that really - im super quiet and reserved introverted type of guy; but im really interested in getting in a serious relationship so i can have a best friend that i can count on and stuff

maybe this could be us

The best you can do now is to hope that she will reply. For guys I think many messages will be gone unanswered. Hope she will respond to you. Good luck

[elevatedsoul]

either way, i just think its cool that there might could be other people out there like me
i haven't smiled genuinely in a long time, maybe there is hope

[DechanDawa]

It's okay to fantasize as long as you are wearing a thick coat.

[passionfruit3]

I understand the shyness thing trying the whole dating thing to and I'm a girl only. One. Person matched with me and hasn't responded

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[divine1966]

There are plenty of all kind of people out there ( as long as you are safe). I've met my fiancée on a dating site. Getting married soon. I am not shy but he is a bit plus he has some MI things ( not severe but enough to be rejected in the real world, did not scare me).

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10 weeks until I marry the man I met online 6.5 years ago. Its harder for men to do the online dating in general I think. If she does reply stick to messaging about those commonalities mostly sprinkled with light things about you asking the majority of questions towards her. Good luck. It is possible. Keep in mind that women are fickle lol. Dont take it personally if she doesnt respond. Keep trying. Messaging becomes easier.

[sito]

Most ladies won't respond to emails from guys. They think that they can wait for Brad Pitt or George Clooney. They will dismiss all good emails. I sent over 100 messages but got no response. I got scammers from other countries

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[elevatedsoul]

i am brad pit and george clooney put together
it just being so great comes with some depression and introvertedness

i don't like sleeping around or just flirting with all the girls i see, im more of a kind of guy that likes to keep it real and take it easy... and only treat the girl im involved with like that - which is hard when you cant really get involved with someone without flirting or whatever in the first place it seems

plus im a little different, maybe a little strange... its hard for people to understand me or relate in a lot of cases, so i dont meet any people like me ever :/

its a fun fantasy but i doubt she'll respond because all the douche bags on those websites spamming every girl just trying to see who will bite and sleep with them

[unaluna]

I would hope that real would be able to recognize real. Good luck! And be patient.

Originally Posted by elevatedsoul

...
i don't like sleeping around or just flirting with all the girls i see, im more of a kind of guy that likes to keep it real and take it easy... and only treat the girl im involved with like that - which is hard when you cant really get involved with someone without flirting or whatever in the first place it seems

...

You don't have to flirt when messaging someone. Just comment on the profile or something you saw interesting in the photos.

[divine1966]

I am with wandering on this. No need to flirt. Just have honest straight forward conversation

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[sito]

All the ladies gone into hiding. No one replied

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[divine1966]

What do you put in your messages?

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I think it's true. But they don't have to reply to all messages. It's just because females are the ones who are approached/massaged most of the time from many males, and thus they have to be selective in responding. Also, I think women are less inclined for casual hookups than men do, and thus they get even more selective. As of content, it's hard sometimes to find what to say. And I'm not sure if the content is as important as the first impression of the woman to the man from his profile and photos.

[elevatedsoul]

i wrote a message like i normally write, like i write to yall here ...

i just talked about some of the things that we had in common and said it was cool
thought she was intriguing and seem like a really cool person blablabla
that it seems shes looking for same thing i am - and if nothing else we could be friends

cause i dont know anyone like her, or like me, gets a little lonely being the only black sheep

i tried to keep it simple but articulate enough to sound like i was genuine/interested...

im not good with these things though, its like being shy but its not so much like im shy but its like wtf why even try kind of thing - figure if i dont get to know anything about them i wont have some silly idea about being in a relationship so i dont prod or whatever, i usually just mirror everyone...

im a complex one :/

[seesaw]

Girls get messaged way more than boys on these sites, so don't feel bad if she doesn't respond. Try to mix up your messages with her between stuff about you and questions about her. For example "I see your into XYZ band. I think their stuff is really cool. What did you think about their latest album?" Try to get her into a real conversation about something. That will make her feel more like you guys are into the same stuff and she will get more comfortable with you.

Don't get ahead of yourself on the squeezing her stuff, but feel free to tell her you think she's really pretty, etc. Girls like that, even if they hear it all the time, it doesn't get old.

Remember in the end, people get on dating sites because they want to date like they're window shopping. They often want to look with no commitment. So if she doesn't really work out, don't think of it as the end of the world. There are plenty more quirky girls like her around, I promise.

Seesaw

I respond to many messages I receive. If only to say thanks for the compliment or I don't think we are a good match.

But I have conversations all the time.

[tradika]

I wouldn't get to super focused on one lady. Send messages to multiple women and keep your options open. A lot of women never respond to messages, compensate by getting your messages out there. Also, do you have a stable job, etc?

[elevatedsoul]

thanks

yeh i get the whole not squeezing her just yet thing, but from what she's shared on the profile and matching questions her personality is soooo adorable, she's dark and tough but cuddly and caring, whaaaaaat

honestly im not really interested in many girls on these sites... i mean i would like to talk to some of them but im so different i dont think they would be interested in a long term relationship :/

but i guess i'll keep "shopping"

she is pretty, i told her in the message that i know girls get told this all the time on these sites but that she is absolutely stunning, between her personality and looks

just gonna give it some time, doesn't really matter if she responds or not because i didnt ever really expect a response but i just thought that its high time for something nice to happen for me, maybe she could be that something nice

i think it would make me feel alot better having someone to cuddle with, that accepts me for who i am and stuff - instead of being left alone with my ownself all the time - im mean to myself and my mind torments me

i did get a message from a gay guy though!!
unfortunately im not gay

why does it have to be such a challenge to meet someone you are compatible with?
why haven't they come up with some new way for people to get together with compatible people - toooo many games and lies for me :/ i just wanna be real with someone

[udayindianic]

try to use facebook to find a friend rather than dating websites.

[sito]

I tried everything but girls don't respond. I recently received message from an American girl. I am from Canada eh. 😂

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[divine1966]

I wouldn't respond to a man who comments on my looks in the very first message. I would comment on interesting hobby she has or exciting profession etc not looks.

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I met my husband on AOL 20 years ago (we've married almost 19 years of that) we met in a chat room and hit it off. We like to joke we were trailblazers for online dating web sites. At the time, he lived in california and i lived in missouri so we had a long distance thing for a bit!

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[elevatedsoul]

i commented on a little of everything she had on the profile... i wasnt going to comment about her looks but she mentioned her makeup and stuff so i wanted to just acknoledge that i thought it was interesting the way she did makeup... and whatnot

i told her that pretty girls make me nervous though so i apologize for sounding dorky - seemed like a nice message to send - she wanted people to be their selves when they mssg so i just tried to keep it real but i can be a little dorky when it comes to relationship stuff..? im a hopeless romantic :/ literally hopellesss!! just wish there was someone out there to be hopeless with me

edit:
by makeup she does designs and stuff... kind of like this..?