Still hurting

Not good

I feel so angry towards him and I really want to contact him to tell him how I feel but I know he just won't care

Thank you for asking

What if you write down your anger? eg in a journal. Not to send to him, but to express it for yourself. And do continue to stay away from him!

Do you think that would help?
Would it be something I keep and read again? What's the benefit

Sometimes it helps to write it down just to have outlet, I have written a letter before to someone I was upset with, never sent, just got it 'out there'.

You can keep it if you like, I didn't though.

As with journaling, a main benefit is giving yourself an outlet to express yourself. Similar to speaking to a good listener, the act of writing gives a catharsis: it allows you to free yourself to a significant extent from the thrall of anger and other emotions. It also can help you to understand what is going on inside yourself.

You could keep it for a while. It might be good to have so as to remind yourself, if/when you are tempted to get in touch with him again, of how he has treated you, how angry he makes you, and why he is unhealthy for you.

I hate journaling. Wouldn't work for me.

When I was very angry about something it helped talking to my therapist. Are you seeing a t?

Also I personally like to find funny things in everything. I was a victim of a romance scam. Nothing was funny about that. But since there was nothing I could do I had to get something funny out of it. Even police officer was like "it's great you can laugh about it".

My t also advices not to have too much idle time when upset and get very busy so you don't dwell

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I write things in a private blog. I also have been officially broken up about a month.

It hurts. I understand. I reacted inappropriately but that's why I'm here. It's why a lot of ppl are here... some good advice and good reminders

I've gone through this before. It'll make you a stronger person and to not accept BS from anyone. He seems lke he needs some growing up to do..it's not you

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I dunno if it's a bias thing or that some of us are just that way. In general I have a problem with people just showing up, let alone an ex just popping in for any reason. If for regular friends I'd rather they not just show up, how much more for someone I'd recently broken up with?

As for the OP, breaking up is hard to do. I won't make any judgments beyond what I'd said about my own personal aversion to people just showing up. That's just my personal view and doesn't necessarily reflect the general concensus.

First it may be hard but keeping him out and blocking him is the best way to start, but fact is, I hate to say it, it takes time, to get over things, even breaking up from a bad relationship is hard to do. I've been there and after 14 yrs of a bad relationship it was still difficult facing life alone. So be forgiving of yourself and know that this is normal, find friends you can confide in and hang with to ease a bit of the pain.

Hope this helps.

How are you doing this weekend, Hedgeleaf?

Hello Bill3, thank you for you message it means a lot that you have sent it.

I'm not doing well at all.

Today was a really bad day for me. I miss him more than I ever though possible. I want to see him and talk to him and see him. I miss everything about him and it hurts so much he will eventually be with someone else.

I'm also wondering what will happen in my future. Will I ever meet someone? Internet dating really doesn't appeal to me at all but I have no free time to actually go out and meet new people and also don't want to have a relationship with somone from work.

I want to go into therapy but I'm terrified for 2 reasons.
First, that there is something wrong with me. That I'm somehow broken it a lost cause and I cannot be 'fixed'
Second, that there ha nothing wrong with me and I'm just a rubbish person to have a relationship with

I want to talk to him.
I want to tell him how much im hurting and all my feelings. I feel like a pressure cooker just wanting to explode but I have nowhere to vent myself. I want him to believe in me. I want him to accept me and understand why I'm hurting.

The main thing is I want him to just be sorry, truly sorry from the bottom of his heart and to see how he's made me feel and the gravity of his actions and words towards me. But he won't. He never will and I know that. But I feel I need it. I need it so much

My t says its waste of time figuring why people do what they do. Most of the time we never get true answers. All we can do is to learn why WE do what we do. I definitely think you would benefit from therapy

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Are you able to write it all down? I know you don't see a purpose, but it IS cathartic to write and read the words, especially when it's as emotional as this. Remember, we don't have much control over feelings...we are kind of at their mercy. So we have to deal with it the few ways we can until time goes by and they get a little dulled...

We are here for you. Most of us have had a broken heart at some point. We know that the passing of time is the only thing that might help a little.
And do keep busy. Distract yourself when you feel yourself getting teary. Feel free to eat a lot of ice-cream and watch moves and cry. Give yourself periods of doing that. But mostly, let friends take you out or go have a pizza with them. Clean out your closet with a vengeance. Throw yourself into work or get out and volunteer at the animal shelter. Honestly, it helps.

Be kind to yourself. But find distractions as often as you can.

And remember....you don't want someone who doesn't want you the way you are.

(((((Hedgeleaf)))))



I'm so sorry to learn how much you are hurting right now.

It sounds like you feel hopeless right now because you need for him to understand and be sorry, but you know that he can't and he won't.

In therapy you will not see yourself to be a lost cause or rubbish. You could find yourself, though, over time in speaking with a T.

In the near term I hope that you can find ways to vent. You could post here. Please do think about a journal or blog or even simply write yourself a letter. Perhaps there are listening hotlines you could call?



(((((Hedgeleaf)))))