[Macd123]

Okay so at the advice of some here I signed up at match.com and actually replied to a couple of profiles. In not sure if I even want to do this and it's terrifying. All the insecurities are coming out - this could be a very surreal trip. I don't even know if I want a long term relationship - jumping the gun I know but this is the nature of the beast - feedback?

[s4ndm4n2006]

Originally Posted by Macd123

Okay so at the advice of some here I signed up at match.com and actually replied to a couple of profiles. In not sure if I even want to do this and it's terrifying. All the insecurities are coming out - this could be a very surreal trip. I don't even know if I want a long term relationship - jumping the gun I know but this is the nature of the beast - feedback?

It's worth a try! the insecurities are kind of part of meeting the opposite sex for dating purposes anyway, whether online, or in real life I imagine your insecurities would pop up just the same.

I have not yet had any luck with dating sites but I can actually tell you why. First off most of them require you put up some kind of profile which to me is kind of a "resume" of sorts for dating o.o Resumes themselves are hard enough to talk about myself in a really positive light (though I can do that to an extent, I mean to the point of attracting others) so I have kind of repeatedly not said much on these sites and therefore get very few responses haha, well no. only response I got was a scammer so I got 1 :P

Don't do that. If you're gonna do it, do it all the way, unlike me and put yourself out there and let it be. "this is me" kind of thing and I assume the best way is to be as honest as possible but in a favorable light. Don't fake any of it or you'll attract the wrong ones for sure.

Anyway I can't give advice, except the one that is based on assumptions above so take that for what it's worth haha. I'll be curious to hear your experience with it though and..

Good luck! I hope it will be a big success for you!

[nicoleflynn]

Been on the dating sites for 12 (gaccck) 12 years! abysmal, but where can you meet anyone!? Go for it.

[divine1966]

There are many threads on here about online dating. If you are careful then there is nothing scary about it.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

I have never used online dating but wish you well, only advice I can offer is be honest - it's okay to not be sure if you want a long term relationship as long as you are up front about that.

[unaluna]

Hey you like to go out for coffee - this way you can have company! Thats why some matchmaking services are called "its just lunch" - its just coffee! Way to go!

[Artchic528]

Yeah....not to burst your bubble but dating sites like Match.com aren't worth spending money on. Just use free ones, like OKCupid.

[Macd123]

Too late I already dove in - I guess I can cancel if nothing works out.

[Artchic528]

Just make sure you're not messaging women who are in their 20's as you'll look like the creepy lecherous old guy. Trust me on that one.

[divine1966]

Originally Posted by Artchic528

Yeah....not to burst your bubble but dating sites like Match.com aren't worth spending money on. Just use free ones, like OKCupid.

To all honesty all I keep hearing is men on there aren't interested in relationships as its free. More like a game when nothing else to do or a hookup site. Seriously inclined men that I know ( or met online ) would not consider okcupid as it's known for hookups. Try eharmony

[A Red Panda]

Good for you Mac!!!

I met one of the best people I've ever known on a dating site. We are just friends (at least currently) as our lives aren't in great spots for a relationship. I know a married couple who met on a dating site as well

Don't get discouraged if nothing pans out for a while. Try to enjoy the conversations you get to have just for the sake of conversations. You can even include on your profile that you are open to friendships as well.

It's a way to meet people and you know that they are all looking for something- and their profiles will likely explain just what they are looking for. If it isn't clear, then ask - if they are offended then they aren't for you anyway!

[Artchic528]

Originally Posted by divine1966

To all honesty all I keep hearing is men on there aren't interested in relationships as its free. More like a game when nothing else to do or a hookup site. Seriously inclined men that I know ( or met online ) would not consider okcupid as it's known for hookups. Try eharmony

Nah...eHarmony is a joke. I tried it and I didn't even get ONE match out of it. None. Don't waste your money on that site.

[OfficeWarrior]

Online dating is like browsing through a catalogue. You might see something you like but you wont know until you go to the store and try it out for yourself.

Also online dating a convulated mess. Half of the people are "just browsing", then other half will deny they are looking to date outright.

Finally, don't add a picture. Nothing good can come from this. Either it's a bad picture, and people will hyper focus on how bad it is. Or it's a good picture, and you'll end up feeling like a cheat. People make all kinds of (wrong) assumptions from a picture, and unlike in the real world where interactions are paced and spontaneous, people "browsing" online have hours and DAYS to analyze everything about every picture you post (and they will) and every reason in the world to find something wrong with it.

So just don't, if anyone asks for a picture, and you feel you've gotten to a point where it would matter, just send them one at that point.

[pcosprincess87]

In reference to OkCupid, you really do have to look. I met and dated more than one guy on there and ended up meeting my husband there actually. I would definitely say that with online dating there tends to be two types of people...the type that just want to fool around and the type that are just as shy and insecure as the rest of us. A dating "resume" may be kind of accurate, but it's better than serial dating and hoping someone shares your interests. If you have trouble talking positively about yourself, why not have a friend help you write it?

[Macd123]

Not sure if this is a good idea - waiting for someone to respond is stressful.

[Trippin2.0]

Originally Posted by Macd123

Not sure if this is a good idea - waiting for someone to respond is stressful.

The trick is not waiting.


Go do something, or you will drive yourself nuts.


An animal shelter seems like a warm fuzzy way to pass time, and offer assistance.

[divine1966]

Originally Posted by Artchic528

Nah...eHarmony is a joke. I tried it and I didn't even get ONE match out of it. None. Don't waste your money on that site.

That's where I met a man I am engaged to. I got to talk to several men on
There but he was the one. They were all high quality because you set up your standards.

[seeker1950]

I met one man on Match.com (we met for dinner) who just didn't feel "right" to me, and I did a search of other sites, and found him on "Adult Friend Finder" where men post pics of their penises!

Then, another, who, after dinner, I said goodnight. He was so angry that I didn't offer him home to have sex, that he emailed me that he was cutting up a body in the bathtub.

[divine1966]

Originally Posted by seeker1950

I met one man on Match.com (we met for dinner) who just didn't feel "right" to me, and I did a search of other sites, and found him on "Adult Friend Finder" where men post pics of their penises!


Then, another, who, after dinner, I said goodnight. He was so angry that I didn't offer him home to have sex, that he emailed me that he was cutting up a body in the bathtub.

Gee. I had men get mad at me for declining to meet second time. I was polite about it but they wouldn't take no for an answer

[nicoleflynn]

I have been on most of them for 12 (abysmal ) years...Plenty of Fish (carp), match, Senior Singles, Our Time, E-harmony.

[Macd123]

Whoa this isn't exactly what I need!!!! Seems like a lot of attractive ladies on these sites which I find curious. Being a guy the physical is naturally going to get my attention. I do feel like I'm sort of fanning a fire because I'm still trying to cope with a fairly devastating bought with unrequited love. What I don't need is a lot of negative feedback if I do decide to meet somene. I don't know - I like being alone.

Well.
It's not as if you are committing yourself if you go one these sites...I mean nobody expects a relationship on the first meeting.

It's just coffee...

[seeker1950]

I'm sorry, MacD, for the negative impressions and feedback I've given. I guess there are a lot of people who've met their significant others thru the dating sites.

Your comment that you like being alone, actually, is a healthy one. Maybe you can just meet and form casual relationships via Match.com. As others have said, nothing wrong with meeting for coffee or dinner.

[A Red Panda]

Mac, just make sure that you are browsing people near your age. That will help reduce the chances of negative reactions.

I also disagree when someone else said to not post a picture. I wouldn't reply to someone who didn't have a few photos posted - it's not that I'm really looking at appearances but I want to see that they are real. I don't like it when people are deceptive about themselves and it's really easy to do that online. So if I see a picture on a site of a man that looks like an ordinary man (so not like a model or fitness addict) then I will believe they are being honest about who they are.

And it's fine to enjoy being alone. You can even write in your profile if you are interested in making friends - because yes, people do that (the guy I mentioned earlier has that in his profile!).

[OfficeWarrior]

Originally Posted by A Red Panda

I wouldn't reply to someone who didn't have a few photos posted - it's not that I'm really looking at appearances but I want to see that they are real.

Yeah, there's that, but in my experience most people don't care, and if they do care, they tend to just ask for a picture... cause you know, they wouldn't ask if they weren't at least remotely interested.

Also I always used to find it really annoying if some random person came up to me to ask if i was on "insertsitehere.com", because they saw my picture and recognized me. Doubly annoying if you happen to be out with someone NOT from that site. Also stalkers... they can't stalk you if they don't know what you look like!