Beheading?

I started talking to this guy last night in a chat and talked to him again today. He seems very intelligent and all. He was born in Syria and I told a friend about this and she said how they behead people like nothing and kill women like it's nothing. Is my friend just being ignorant? I think so but not sure. And I was kind of told it was bad news and how I should stay away and not get involved. I have different opinions than this guy but we talked for like 4 hours or something on everything. He said he wants to help me with dealing with my illnesses. He told me how he enjoys %#@&#! sex with women and wouldn't normally bother talking to someone who didn't let him do that but how there was something about me he liked and said he was happy talking to me; which I guess was nice to hear and I did enjoy talking to a guy who seemed genuine and who was intelligent and what not. I'd like to talk to him in person and he agrees with that; but, we both agree we really would like to be friends and if something eventually develops than so be it but not to push it and what not. What does everyone think of this? Does this sound ok or appropriate? Opinions and comments are welcome and appreciated. Thanks, Danielle

Personally, I don't think he's a safe person to be with! He brought up a couple of pretty dark subjects!!

I agree with Sept!

I agree with SeptemberMorn.

He is indeed bringing up dark subject -- too dark for "getting to know you conversation" and his opinions are mirrored in these. Red flags are waving in your face like mosquito bites. Take notice.

I think that I would end it now if I were you. I've been in an abusive relationship before, and some of the things you describe here ring alarm bells for me.

Sorry!

Talking for 4 hours with an individual (I don't care where he is from or what his ethnic background is) does not constitute a friendship nor a face to face meeting!!

He may be interesting to you, but that in no way implies that he is safe. Anyone can be exactly what they are not online. It takes a lot of time and patience to get to really know someone, and the online situation gives very little information to individuals.

For someone to say they want to help you with your illness that is NOT a doctor or therapist is a huge red flag, not to mention the other things you talk about.

I agree with everyone who posted so far. Avoid him like the plague!!!

Be safe dear one.....take good care of YOU!!!

Hugssss
J

I agree with everyone else.To me it doesn't matter of the
person's ethnic background. What really scares me though
is : He told me how he enjoys %#@&#! sex with women and wouldn't normally bother talking to someone who didn't let him do that but how there was something about me.

Good -luck, and please be careful.

Scary , Scary. Scary.

Alarm bells are ringing everywhere! YIKES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Perhaps his attitude is normal and natural in his culture, but I can guarantee you that the cultural differences between him and yourself will start to manifest really soon. The only hope I would have is that he would not have a control hold on you before you realize this man isn't one that you want in your life for anything!!!

Hun, please listen to everyone here!!! Nevermind the beheadings...there are a few people in North America that are probably good candidates for that punishment themselves walking free on the streets. Ask yourself why any man with one ounce of class would say he only wants to hang out with women would #@% him right away? Ask yourself why he wants to have anything to do with someone as sick as us when there are millions of other women out there that he could get involved with on the net? With the illnesses we carry, some of us are easily controlled and such. Therefore, we as mental illness sufferers must be more careful than the regular population. IMHO, I think he is out to make some sort of victim out of you. I know that sounds really sick of me to even think that,,,but I have seen it happen a few times once these guys know we're ill.

When they start talking sex on the first meeting...you're in for a rocky ride! He's not looking for a friendship if he wants to talk about sex!!!!!!

ABT

P.S.

September Morn....

That's a really beautiful picture and quote!

i'm worried about YOU>>>>>>>>>> you just posted about having sex with someone who took the condom off........and within 24 hours, you're thinking of hooking up with someone who wants you for more sex.

sweetheart, how often do you have sex with people that you don't know or know casually>? i'd examine my motives and feelings about letting men use your body for their gratification........no marriage proposals are going to be coming out of these one night stands.......no respect, no calling back, nothing.......

ca·su·al [ káoo əl ]

adjective

Definition:

1. chance or unpremeditated: happening or done by chance or without prior thought or planning

2. known only slightly: known only slightly or involving only slight knowledge of somebody or something
a casual acquaintance at work

3. superficial: not involving emotional commitment or loyalty, or lacking in thoroughness or seriousness

4. lenient: possessing a permissive or lenient approach to things

5. indifferent: showing little interest or enthusiasm

6. nonchalant: cool, calm, or nonchalant in manner

sex is not a casual outing to the mall...........sex means that you're investing a part of you and should be receiving an investment back from your partner. these aren't partners.....these are users........"casual"............

OMG....it also means STD's and AIDS! God knows who these guys even are...it might mean rape and/or murder too.

Please be careful. Maybe you don't care what happens to you but your friends and family do....so do we hun!!!!!!!

ABT

The last posting made me wanna cry... and I read everyone's advice and just don't really know how I feel. I guess I'm wanting everyone to be wrong. I mean maybe it's just me, but a lot of guys talk about sex, even in the psychiatric program I've been in guys talk about sex but they also give feedback on other things too. And I feel that's like what's going on. I understand we should be careful because maybe we're more vulnerable because of our illnesses and what not. I guess I was feeling like crying because I don't want people to be right and the part about not caring about me and stuff hit home. That's enough for now... I will write more later. I have to gage how much emotional stuff I expose myself to at once to keep from slipping into depression...
Danielle

Hi, Double...
No one wants to cause you anxiety or depression here...We are all speaking from experience and from concern for you!
When I came here to PC three years ago, I got honest, hard truthful advice...not something I really wanted to hear, but it was what I needed to hear!
At that time, I was actually engaged in a "casual sex" encounter and desperately wanting it to be more than that! The consequsences were very traumatic for me, and humiliating...
Also, I want to add here, that I too have met men online, engaging in conversations (none quite like you just experienceced), but these men can, as Sabau has said, can present themselves to be anything and everything online. I've had some horrific experiences from meeting men online, and no longer go there!
People here are concerned for you and your emotional and physical well-being, and we want you to be safe!
Love
Patty

he sounds the type who would freak me out and be a scary guy. if he has that little respect for other women that he only wants to talk to them if he is going to have sex with them later, he aint a nice guy. mehhhh avoid himmmmmmm scawy bwoke
take care
self

I think everyone who has posted has probably given you a lot to think about...in some cases probably more than you thought?

From a guys prospective...it would not be a good idea to hop into another sexual encounter.

Sounds like from your second post in this thread that there is a lot going on...best time not to make any major decisions. Having sexual activity can be considered by some casual and nothing major...I would suggest that it is a major decision...Don't you think?

P.S. As a guy, I don't typically talk to women about sex who I meet at a group meeting, program, or in general...

Again I must say thank you all. I am interested in the male perspective on this as well. So thankyou. I know someone said that I need ot consider others when engaging in such activities. I felt awful about it, and hadn't given thought to that, saying that eventhough I didn't care about myself I should consider others. So a step towards that I guess is going to the doctor and talking to her about some things such as the possibility of birth control and maybe getting tested or something. I feel also that I must admit that I was making an attempt at reckless behavior last night but things didn't work out for various reasons; probly that was best. I don't want to tell everything to the nurses who run the outpatient program I'm finishing because it's too personal to me to tell them. I feel more comfortable telling my T eventhough I've known them longer.
Danielle

I really agree with sept, and all them. He did bring up some dark subjects as it seems. I just wouldnt be too sure. I mean he might be fine, but if your not sure then I wouldnt take the chance. just please be careful, because there are so many people online these days that are dishonest. not saying he is..but you never know. peace out, Ally

I'd also like to mention that, in other countries, many men think American women are "easy" because some of us will have sex shortly after meeting a guy. I don't think there's anything wrong with that, if you're doing it with realistic expectations and a strong sense of self, but even if you are, many foreign guys see you as an easy lay. You don't hear about it nearly as much as when it occurs by men, but women actually go on "sex tours," too, seeking a man (or men) to "entertain" them for a weekend or whatever--there are professional gigolos, whether they call themselves that or not--and some men think all American women are seeking sex.

I guess the secret to getting people to respond is to write an eye-catching title and write something so that everyone can understand. Thanks for sharing.... it's good to know.

i think that people here responded out of concern, regardless of your heading. i don't think it takes an "eye catching" title to bring out the best in the people here........

i'm glad you got so much advice and help. i hope you take it all to heart. fayerody

Why would you want to have anything to do with someone who thinks beheading people and killing women is nothing? What is wrong with you?

Pickle,
I don't think you read the post very carefully. Her friend said that that is what people from Syria are like. This guy didn't say that although he did say some other inappropriate things.

i agree with what everyone else has said. I would stay away from this guy. Getting together with someone like that would not be healthy. Casual sex is also not safe even with a condom and bc. Be careful, and take care of yourself. You are worth it.