I cant do anything i want I have to do what others want

I am really angry and I hate my mother I just want to light her on fire the woman runs my ****ing life my friends what men I am meant to date, telling me I am not into girls I just get mistreated by guys and I am angry at them thats why i like girls. She's full of **** and I just want her to dig a hole and **** off to hell. I am tired of people telling me and making me feel guilty for doing what i want to do not what they want. I just want her to **** off for good why did she even have to return from portugal. It's been hell ever since shes returned. I hate her because I am under her lock and key under control and everyones excuse is she is doing good. **** off making me feel suffocated and angry because I have no real control of my life isnt doing me good and sure isn't going to let me learn my own lesson. Sometimes I wish she'd shut the **** up.

I did notice some of your posts talking about her acting negatively towards you.

So I am guessing you live with her? Are you old enough to move out, or?

Maybe you can somehow explain to her tactfully that although you are her child, you are an individual and as such you need space and the ability to make your own decisions, which does not require her input.

she probably is growing as you are too. if she lacks the skills to take care of you, please get help where you can let your feelings out. good luck

Yes, aare you old enough to move out? If so, do you pay rent? Is this then a case of her-house-her-rules? Are you able to contribute in return for some independence and the respect you need? If you already do so, you are right; you are entitled to some independence and observance of it. You are due respect anyway but I think expectations are different when one pays rent. Just my expectations as a parent myself who once had an adult child under her roof.

Yes, I pay rent and I was also able to buy food as well this week so I am happy its the little steps we take till independent I am 20 and I think I may try and put a load in the washing machine

You're 20 and your mother tells you what men you're allowed to date?

She should just get over the fact that you're into woman.

Having said that tensions are high between the two of you and I'd suggest you limit contact with her so far as what is practical until you two are able to speak to each other civilly.

I think she said "meant" to date. Perhaps in reference to the cam experience?

That clarified.

I agree, do something about not speaking until able to speak civilly. And, truly, with this rage of wishing death on your mom....go get some help!

And maybe your mom is very particular about the laundry? My own mom insisted that no one touch her laundry.

Please talk to a professional. I mean it's ok to feel angry, i felt angry at my parents plenty of times. It seems to me that intensity of anger is of concern. Wanting to cut her with knives or set her on fire. Please let your doctor or therapist know ASAP

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I see my counsellor tomorrow I might chat to her about all these experiences

My ex was OCD *rolls eyes*

No one was allowed to do the laundry / ironing unless there was perfection lol

I tried to do what I thought was helping out once, note the use of the word once, to the tune of omg my laundry is ruined!

She was in a tizzy about shrinking clothes or the slightest wrinkle. Less housework for me at that time.

I did wind up with towels and sheets. She hasn't mastered the proper folding techniques, there

I am obsessive about laundry as about everything else in my house. But I don't care how people wash their own laundry. Don't wash your mom or communal stuff, just wash yours.

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I guess I will do that next time