Dating...am i sane enought?

Hi everyone,
It seems like, as in Wants2Fly's post, a lot of us are dealing with the thoughts of relationships in our "middle years." My situation is a little more complicated (or so I believe) Wants2Fly talked about a 15 year relationship. I'm 51,and the longest relationship that I've had, including marraiges, is about 2 years. After years of therapy,support groups, and my own work, i know that my relationship challenges are due to childhood traumas, abusive relationships, traumatic losses...the list goes on. But I'm getting to the place where all of my trying to get "well" enough for a relationship is never ending. And even worse, I'm forced to accept that some things are never going to go away, like my bipolar, my age, my past, etc. In the past, when I've hid behind my "best face" I appear confident and together, that is until my abandonment issues come up,(or any of my other issues) I no longer want to hide behind a "false self." I want to go into relationships with my imperfect, sometimes fearful self. So...my questions are:
1. Should I join a online dating service, and just practice being myself? (in a safe way of course) Speaking of which, is that "Someone for You" dating site link a part of psychcentral? Anybody try it?
2.Should I, with the help of a therapist, wade through my fears and insecurities and "do it anyway?"
3. Should I stop trying to get "good enought" and consider the possibility that there are men out there, who like me,inspite of thier kindness, humor and intelligence(according to most people who know me) are just as scared as me? HELP!

Dorsey,
I feel I can relate to you; I haven't probably been through everything you have. (and I'm a 23 year old young lady). But I can totally relate to what you're saying. The answer to your questions, I would say YES to all of them! Sure we are all scared of something, and relationships is a biggie. I've been told that having an illness makes us more vulnerable; but, I think it should be viewed as a strength, I know this is weird, but we have something others don't and that is a chance to really make a choice to deal with things and heal and work on our problems versus the type of people like you said who deny that their is anything wrong with them at all and who eventualy I've seen meet their demise. My apologies for being so out there, and harsh. I don't mean to be. The online dating thing... I joined american singles today actually cause I wanted to know what the message was that someone sent me; I was a little disappointed it just said hi, but I replied and hopefully I can meet new people. I have a hard time really meeting and socializing with people, men in particular when I'm sober or I guess anytime when I feel like the spotlight is on me. But I say go for it. As for your comment of not knowing where the bipolar ends and you begin; throw that whole notion out. I mean yea you have an illness and symptoms that affect you; but, don't let them rule your life, really. As for sanity; well if we were all sane, that wouldn't be so fun, now would it? Hugs
Take Care,
Danielle

Thanks Danielle,
You remind me of a quote, "and a child shall lead them..." Not to call you a child, but with all of the years between us, your wisdom has truly touched me. I will follow your advice and go for it! You're right in that i often define myself by my weaknesses instead of my strenghts, when really it's the weaknesses that has made me who I am today. I thank you from the bottom of my heart for your encouragement. If I can say anything that may help you, it would be to tell you that i spent most of my twenties and thirties running from my pain and myself through drugs and alcohol. And thought you may be a social drinker, being sober is a better state to be, even if it makes you feel more vulnerable and awkward.
Bless you,
Dorsey

Dorsey, I also say "yes" to your points 1, 2, 3. As for online personal ads, I saw one report that said one-third of the males posting are married and lying, so be careful.

And good luck with it all.

I think I'm gonna wait for Perfect Guy to parachute land on my patio.