[TishaBuv]

I told my husband I have mixed feelings about the whole divorce or keep trying dilemma and we got back together. Oh boy, this is at least the 6th time we've done this.

My head is spinning.

This is the strangest case of domestic emotional abuse with two people playing parts.

I think we need an exorcism.

Well, if I don't overdose, and we don't do physical harm to each other, I guess we will keep on living.

I apologize to you all for how dysfunctional I am in my own life. And yet, the comments I make and advice I give on other people's posts are really sane and good, right?

Please pray for us.

[divine1966]

Hang in there. Do what's best for both of you.

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[~Christina]

Since this is like the 6th go around it has be exhausting and brain melting..... Can you both just take a break for X weeks or months whatever it will take to both have time to really decide if this relationship will survive and you both will be alive to enjoy it?

My husband and I hit a horrible place in our marriage about 5-6 years ago .. Basically the marriage was over. Neither of us had any money or place to go .. So we were just stuck in the same home. He moved into the guest room and we agreed that we should just be kind to each other and not even discuss our problems as it just wasn't helping matters..

Well about 3 months of a " breakup " while still under the same roof ,, we began to remember what we actually liked about each other ( We realized later we both were remembering).. Mind you we still didn't discuss anything... About month 5 we had both found some solid ground for ourselves mentally and we started talking about the reality of do we sell the house and go our own ways.. Or were we really ready to make things work.

Long story short , We forced ourselves to really take time, Months to actually stop trying to " fix us" .. We both just took time to work on ourselves.

I hope your able to find some middle ground ...

Ps your advice around here is always wonderful

[divine1966]

I left my alcoholic few times and he quit drinking out of fear I leave and he wouldn't drink for the long time ( still didn't go to AA or therapy), but he always relapsed.
Going back didn't change anything. Well last time was last. It was too late by then.

If you do get together figure out how you want to conduct your marriage so it doesn't get bad again


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[handheart]

Well i think you love each other thats way you come back every time

[Chyialee]

AWww, Tisha. Hugely head-spinning, this whole back-and-forth bit, isn't it?

Does it feel like you've made a decision? Or as though you-all are just refusing to decide?
Please do what will be a solid, healthy place for your life to be -- if that made any sense lol.

And yes, your posts here are full of good sense.
I shall rattle all my beads.
xo, Chyia

[TishaBuv]

Originally Posted by ~Christina

Since this is like the 6th go around it has be exhausting and brain melting..... Can you both just take a break for X weeks or months whatever it will take to both have time to really decide if this relationship will survive and you both will be alive to enjoy it?

My husband and I hit a horrible place in our marriage about 5-6 years ago .. Basically the marriage was over. Neither of us had any money or place to go .. So we were just stuck in the same home. He moved into the guest room and we agreed that we should just be kind to each other and not even discuss our problems as it just wasn't helping matters..

Well about 3 months of a " breakup " while still under the same roof ,, we began to remember what we actually liked about each other ( We realized later we both were remembering).. Mind you we still didn't discuss anything... About month 5 we had both found some solid ground for ourselves mentally and we started talking about the reality of do we sell the house and go our own ways.. Or were we really ready to make things work.

Long story short , We forced ourselves to really take time, Months to actually stop trying to " fix us" .. We both just took time to work on ourselves.

I hope your able to find some middle ground ...

Ps your advice around here is always wonderful

Did you stay together?

[TishaBuv]

Originally Posted by Chyialee

AWww, Tisha. Hugely head-spinning, this whole back-and-forth bit, isn't it?

Does it feel like you've made a decision? Or as though you-all are just refusing to decide?
Please do what will be a solid, healthy place for your life to be -- if that made any sense lol.

And yes, your posts here are full of good sense.
I shall rattle all my beads.
xo, Chyia

I think now it has happened enough times that if I say I want a divorce again, everybody will just laugh in my face. I, myself, will not take myself seriously. It's like the anger leaves me after a while and I start to want to take him back and feel really sorry for making a scene and not appreciating him.

I must really be BPD.

At least if I recognize that, maybe I'll just go cry somewhere and things will get batter on their own.

As long as I don't OD, and just stop acting out.

And he definitely does his part. This isn't me alone.

There's so much I never even said here on PC. You wouldn't believe! It's not just me!

The weirdest thing is nobody cares. There are no repercussions. We just go back to normal and everybody acts like nothing happened. Nobody told me to stop carrying on. My husband didn't even lay down the law. How much would he put up with?

Do I have BPD and did everything I can to push him away? This guy refuses to go. There's not another man alive that would put up and still want me. Why does he even want me? That's truly the underlying fear--

I hate to say it, but some men might love B's... When I am sweet and loving to him, he ignores and neglects me. When I throw him out and tell him I want a divorce he vows his love and affection. Hmmmmmm

[~Christina]

Yes we are and to be honest out marriage has never been stronger.. 10 year anniversary in July but together 15 years .