[Crazy Hitch]

My doorbell at home has rung every single day.

It's an old guy who holds documents in his hands but I'm too scared to answer the door.

My (ex) husband [we're not divorced yet] said he's serving me papers to sell the house.

I can't afford to move. I don't have one cent in savings since he left 4 months ago. I can't even afford a moving company. My (ex) earns at least 3x my salary. Not like he can't afford the place.

I don't want to move right now. I've had so many changes over the last few months. My home is my only sense of stability in all this madness that's going on.

And frankly I'm scared to move out on my own ....

This guy trying to serve me papers showed up at my work today. They told him to leave because I can't leave my classes unattended (duty of care) whilst I'm teaching. Thank goodness!

But it's only a matter of time now before I'm served them and frankly I am freaking out. A lot.

[Septembersrain]

I can understand. While I was in the hospital, my ex moved all my stuff to my grandmothers.

It's hard right now and it's going to be a fight but don't give up until you are ready.

You don't deserve to just be evicted like that. It's your home too. I'd advise to save up and give it a try.

It'll be me living alone soon too. I'm scared like you but sometimes you can't choose what happens. You can only keep trying and have faith in whatever you need to.

Life can be madness, it can be sorrow, it can hurt like hell and scare you like crazy.

It's the next step to moving on but you're not alone. People like me are here because I'm also taking that scary, lonely and difficult first step.

Over the divorce, you're entitled to half. So you take what you're worth.

I'll keep you in my thoughts tonight as I'm awake in tears and I know how you feel.

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[Crazy Hitch]

September

I'm sorry you're going through such a tough time too.

Is your ex reasonable or do you think it will be a messy divorce?

[IceCreamKid]

I'm sorry your ex is doing this to you. Since he makes so much more money, you might consider trying to negotiate for him to pay the expenses of you moving, or helping you refinance the place to your name. Better to see what the papers say so you can plan your next move.

[Moogieotter]

You can move in w us, Hitch!

[divine1966]

Get a lawyer ASAP. Well if he makes three times more he needs to pay for stuff. Including for your move etc. or refinance etc You have kids. Where does he want you to move? With kids? You can't just up and move. He cannot ask for that. Get those papers and see a lawyer. Go by what the lawyer says ( you can maybe pay lawyer in installments if you can't afford it right now ). That's what my fiancée did, he paid his divorce lawyer for over few years in small installments.

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I will be direct. Skirting around the issue won't solve or prevent it. Avoiding it is only dragging on this hell you are going through. You need to meet it head on.

Not sure about where you are but I don't believe he can sell the house without your consent. I am guessing that these are divorce papers.

But, selling the house is probably going to end up being the solution. Most family law lawyers will postpone their fees until after the sale of the house and take their fees from the dispersal. However, many (BUT NOT ALL) will require a retainer to take you on as a client.

[Bill3]

Please retain an attorney immediately so as to protect your interests, and those of your children, obtain a reasonable divorce settlement, and give you some degree of peace of mind from having a knowledgeable person on your side.

[dwfieldjr]

I'm sorry this is happening divorce is an ugly thing.

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[divine1966]

If he makes three times more you'll get hefty child support and possibly alimony since you were stay at home mom when kids were little. No one can just kick you out or make you broke. Good lawyer will get you through this.

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[eskielover]

Usually the sale of the house is part of what the judge requires in the division of property in the divorce. It's all part of the settlement. Not sure why your H is trying to push it on you at this point. Are you on the deed/loan as owner also? If so, then he can't make you sell the house until the divorce is finalized. Definitely get a lawyer because depending on your state, even if your name isn't on the home (unless your H owned it before the marriage & there was an agreement that it was to be his in a pre-nup. Sounds more like intimidation & a lawyer is definitely needed for you.

[Hedgeleaf]

You can't just accept something you haven't read or pre agreed.

It could just be the papers. In this case then it will just outline the details of the divorce and what he proposes as a 'split' of assets etc which will include the property and equity depending on how much is left on the mortgage and the current selling value of the property.

If you have children and you are the main care provider then any split will always go in your favour.

My advice, see if you can get some free legal advice first and take it from there.

If you are in the UK then CAB are great and offer a few meetings with local solicitors to talk it through

[Hedgeleaf]

Just to add, I've found that divorce requires A LOT of negotiation! Just because he's proposed something and is serving you the papers that does not mean that is what will happen. He's just serving you papers to acknowledge the breakdown of the marriage etc and what he wants from the divorce.

I don't know of any solicitor/lawyer or judge who will act in favour of a husband who earns 3x more than his wife who has to xare for and home their children. That's just not what happens at all and if it did then that is total mis practice

[divine1966]

I agree with hedgeleaf. Just because he says this or that it doesn't mean you have to agree, that's what lawyer and judge are for.

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[Crazy Hitch]

Hi absolutely everyone who replied above. Just wanted to say I really appreciate the replies.

I'll give some responses later on today.

6am here in Australia. Gotta go get ready for work.

[dwfieldjr]

Yer welcome and have a good day at work.😃

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[Crazy Hitch]

Originally Posted by ValentinaVVV

Is your ex reasonable or do you think it will be a messy divorce?

I think it's going to get a lot messier ....

[Crazy Hitch]

Originally Posted by IceCreamKid

I'm sorry your ex is doing this to you. Since he makes so much more money, you might consider trying to negotiate for him to pay the expenses of you moving, or helping you refinance the place to your name. Better to see what the papers say so you can plan your next move.

Unfortunately with the value of the house, refinancing into my name is not an option.

If he could help me move - that will be great. But I'd give that a 0% chance of happening.

[Crazy Hitch]

Originally Posted by Moogieotter

You can move in w us, Hitch!

Thanks magical!

[Crazy Hitch]

Originally Posted by divine1966

Get a lawyer ASAP. Well if he makes three times more he needs to pay for stuff. Including for your move etc. or refinance etc You have kids. Where does he want you to move? With kids? You can't just up and move. He cannot ask for that. Get those papers and see a lawyer. Go by what the lawyer says ( you can maybe pay lawyer in installments if you can't afford it right now ). That's what my fiancée did, he paid his divorce lawyer for over few years in small installments.

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Lawyers that I've rung want $500 before you put a foot in the door.

I've gotten so called free legal advice, but they don't do representation in court or anything like that.

I was basically told by the free advice that I'd have to sell.

[Crazy Hitch]

Originally Posted by Bill3

Please retain an attorney immediately so as to protect your interests, and those of your children, obtain a reasonable divorce settlement, and give you some degree of peace of mind from having a knowledgeable person on your side.

I wish that he and I could have sat down and negotiated first between us, rather than him serving me papers based on what he interprets it to be.

[Crazy Hitch]

Originally Posted by justafriend306

I will be direct. Skirting around the issue won't solve or prevent it. Avoiding it is only dragging on this hell you are going through. You need to meet it head on.

Not sure about where you are but I don't believe he can sell the house without your consent. I am guessing that these are divorce papers.

But, selling the house is probably going to end up being the solution. Most family law lawyers will postpone their fees until after the sale of the house and take their fees from the dispersal. However, many (BUT NOT ALL) will require a retainer to take you on as a client.

Yes. Agreed. But my nerves are so shattered right now it's one more thing on my plate that I just don't want to deal with, today.

You're right - he can't sell without my consent. But the courts can impose a forced sale here.

[Crazy Hitch]

Originally Posted by divine1966

If he makes three times more you'll get hefty child support and possibly alimony since you were stay at home mom when kids were little. No one can just kick you out or make you broke. Good lawyer will get you through this.

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I still haven't seen any maintenance ...

[Crazy Hitch]

Originally Posted by eskielover

Usually the sale of the house is part of what the judge requires in the division of property in the divorce. It's all part of the settlement. Not sure why your H is trying to push it on you at this point. Are you on the deed/loan as owner also? If so, then he can't make you sell the house until the divorce is finalized. Definitely get a lawyer because depending on your state, even if your name isn't on the home (unless your H owned it before the marriage & there was an agreement that it was to be his in a pre-nup. Sounds more like intimidation & a lawyer is definitely needed for you.

Yes, we are 50/50 owners of the property.

My understanding is, he can start proceedings of intent of sale of the house, regardless of whether or not we are divorced or getting divorced.

You're right ... I need a lawyer!