[Rhapsody]

OMG! OMG!

I think my mother has finally lost her mind and this time she seems to have me as the target of her anger and confusion. I really do not care to nor want to repeat a past I have worked so hard to recover from.... I think a relationship is going to have to be lost here, for she has finally lost the last two cracked marbles she had left.

She has gone off her rocker and she is accusing me of things I NEVER did (even in my worst of times mentally) - and I personally think she has transferred her resentment and anger toward one of my older sister onto me for some reason..... for the things she is saying toward me are things she has talked to me about concerning my sister. Go Figure?
... and I was the last child to have stood by her and cont' to give her unconditional love - even with my past of being sexually abused and her not really protecting me over him - the man.

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr - I am so made and I know HELL will now follow, per her doings.

[MountainGirl]

((((((Rhapsody)))))),

I have no advice to offer, as I am in a similar predicament, but I want you to know that I did read your post and I am sending a million and two hugs your way as you work your way through this difficult time.

Hugs,
MG

[sabby]

I'm so sorry (((((((((((((((((((((((Rhapsody))))))))))))))))))))))))))

I hope you are both feeling better soon and can work through this in some way.


J

[Fuzzybear]

I'm sorry!!! (((((((((((((((( Rhapsody )))))))))))))))))

Oh, I'm so sorry Rhapsody-- that you are going through this.

My mom accuses any of her offspring that try to become close to her, of horrible things-- like stealing from her, manipulating her, taking advantage of her....... it's hard to deal with a mother that wrongly accuses--- I'm so sorry you are going through this also-- .. and when you've been there for her-- that makes the upset even more so

Though it makes us angry-- please keep in mind -- try not to let it bring you down-- not to feel bad about yourself--(by your post-- it seems you aren't blaming yourself-- that's good) that's what I'm working to accomplish.

Rhap

mandy

[Wants2Fly]

I am so sorry, Rhapsody. This sounds like a tough situation.

Hugs and hugs and hugs.

[Rhapsody]

Thanks to every one that has replied and to the ones that are praying silently for me - I appreciate it.

I will be here often in this thread as my mother starts to talk to others and the you know what hits the fan.... I would rather that I talk it out here than to let it consume me in RL.

At the moment I have been informed (via email) that I am no longer welcomed over at her house - Deja vu - for this happened when the truth came out 20 some years ago about someone that was sexually abusing me - instead of standing by me I became the unwelcome out cast in what was once my home my family.

Oh well, what is one to do - but to take each day as it comes and to try and not let tomorrow interfere.

And to think this entire thing and loss of a mother daughter relationship is over MONEY - that which I paid back the one and only time I borrowed money from my mother for a used car down payments when my car got totaled in a car accident.
This present matter of the other car, my now 11 yr old Dodge, is not a car I borrowed money on for a down payment, but my mom insist that my husband and I did ($900) and yet neither one of us can recall such a loan.... we even remember using our income tax for that down payment.

What I hate the most out of all of this is that history is but repeating its self in a lot of ways and now my mother is saying mean evil hateful things to ME (via email) that I never knew she felt toward me...... guess she needs some counseling now, for one can see that she has some unresolved issues from her own past.

Grrrrrrr - I am so angry and upset at the thought of what unraveling's are to follow this false accusation made by a once loved one..... for remember I have lived with my family for 40 years now.

Rhapsody, it sounds to me like she may be experiencing either early dementia or alzheimers disease. i'm not excusing anything that she has done. but her not having a grasp of reality makes it sound as if she really has lost her two cracked marbles.

don't blame yourself, don't take the guilt and don't give her your power.....we love you here, pat

[Rhapsody]

Yeah... I agree - and I know there is something going on with her, health is poor over all, I just don't like the feeling of knowing what kind of mess and hell this can and probably will stir up.

Oh well.... I managed to make it thru the early years, I think I can do it again and better this time - for I am a better and healthier person mentally this time around.

I will let you all know how things go....... Thanks.

* * * * * * * *

What do you (and others) think about the ideal of me going a head and telling my siblings about the matter before my mom does? - my thinking is that at least this way they will have a chance to hear the rational side of it all.

.... I saved all emails between me and my mom just in case I need them, if and when it all hits the fan.

i would tell them.

i'm in a situation now where an elderly caregiver is developing strong signs of Alzheimers. i did try to talk to his daughter over a week ago. i told her that he was getting confused and disoriented. i said "the next thing you know, he'll be getting lost"......she pooh-poohed me.........a week to the day that i contacted her, he got lost, here in his hometown, one night for 30 minutes. he told me the next day how scared and confused he was.........

at least i've warned the family.

you should disclose everything......stay one step ahead of the pack......i've covered my ***..........cover yours.

[Rhapsody]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
fayerody said:
you should disclose everything......stay one step ahead of the pack......i've covered my ***..........cover yours.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

That is exactly what I was thinking..........................

[Rhapsody]

Second Thought........

Did I tell you all that this so call MONEY ISSUE is from 11 years ago (per her side of the story) and she has never once mentioned it to me or any one else for that matter.... and if you knew my mother she could not (would not) go that long with out complaining to another person about it.

Just had to get that off my shoulders - out of my mind.

yes.....i understood that and it makes it much more frustrating for you.......

[Rhapsody]

STUPID PITY PARTY grrrrrrrrrr



I am kinda feeling a little blue today...... for today is my birthday and what should of been a turing point in my life (turning 40) is nothing more to me right now than a reminder.... that my family is not here for me - well, at least not my mother.

[sidony]

Happy Birthday Rhapsody!!!

I'm sorry about all the b.s. with your mom. Yeah, I think you should go ahead and tell your other family members about it. And then maybe you can refuse to be part of the big drama and try to just ignore it. That must be so frustrating!

I hope you can find time to do something fun for your birthday! Families are such a pain sometimes.

But happy birthday anyway. Things will be okay eventually.....



Sidony

[meander]

Happy birthday Rhapsody!!

[Rhapsody]

Ok - a little update to the Soap Opera of my Life.......

My older brother calls me and says he has some thing for me and ask when I will be home?

Ok - it is the day after my birthday so I am thinking....... a birthday gift - right? - WRONG!!!

He arrives at my house and ask me to come out side and he takes me around to the back of his car and opens the trunk........ Well, what do I see, but every thing I have ever given my mother in his trunk all packed up for me to take back - for my mother no longer wants them

Then - he hands me a money order from my mom and he tells me what the $120 is for:

1.) $65 - for my part of her mothers days gift this year

2.) $25 - for the money used to buy my sister a b.day gift from my mother.

3.) $5 - for some Milk & Eggs I picked up for her a few weeks back - at no charge.

4.) $25 - My birthday Gift, for she has already planned to give it to me.

MY REPLY:

You can keep the items (brothers name said) or give them to your girls / kids for I do not wish to have them, or give them back to mom.
and BTW - I think our mom has finally lost her mind, she is NUTS.

HIS REPLY:

I think I will take them home and put them up in my bedroom closet.... in case mom wants them back one day.

* * * * * * * * *

What do YOU all think of that....... and keep in mind this entire time my mom is insisting that she is not ANGRY at me - just HURT. (by some thing that never happened - only in her mind)

And she included a note with the money order that tells me how awful and evil I am and that I am disowned as her daughter and that from this forward WE ARE STRANGERS and that she can longer TRUST ME.

* * * * * * * * * *

SORRY for this comment and I hope it does not offend any one.......... BUT

WHAT A NUT CASE

* * * * * * * * *

I called one of my older sisters and talked to her about all of this after my brother had left..... and she was shocked and yet stated that she hopes I do not take this to personally for she thinks it is all do to my mothers illness (many of them) and maybe it is worse than we all know and that it is now getting to her mind / memory.

..... I am trying, but it is hard for I know that I will not be with my family when they get together at our mothers house for any thing, not to mention the Holidays coming up.

.... Part of me wanted to cry when all of this was happening (but I did not) and now part of me is relieved - for I have already lived thru 40 years with this family / mother.

[(JD)]

http://drjean.psychcentral.net/2007/05/ Maybe that will address some of your issues? Breathe. (((hugs)))

[meander]

((((Rhap))))

You're being so strong with all this.... sounds like your brother understands the reality of the situation at least though, so I guess that's a plus.. don't really have any advice sorry, but hope it gets better, and that you feel better...

[Rhapsody]

Thank YOU -
I am trying my best to remain strong and hoping that this too will pass......

I can only pray that this is more of medical problem and not that of real anger from my mother after 40 years of hell from my side of the fence from sexual abuse and rejections as a child due to the abuse.

Plus...... I have learned after 40 years of living that we are not to sweat the small things, for they shall take care of themselves. I have learned to pick the battles I will be a part of and to leave the rest behind, for LIFE is way too short.