Wife won't get out of bed, won't eat, refuses help. What do I do?

Does she like animals? Has she ever said she would like a pet?

My depression was compounded with ptsd and for me sitting in a chair in the barn focusing on my horse's calm eyes helped lots.

Sometimes when I was feeling overwhelmed I would go grab a couple of our kittens and place them in bed with me and cuddled them against my bare skin.

Even a stuffed animal can help.

Pets are prohibited in our building unfortunately. We were going to chance it by getting a budgie bird—she had one a while back and loved the thing—but then we found out that Japan is one of the countries that the US won't allow you to bring birds from. And she didn't want to have it for only a year or so only to have to give it to someone else. Once we move to America, we're planning to get a dog.

I'll try the stuffed animal approach, though.

Moving to America .... How do you think that is going to improve your marriage? What is going to happen if she doesnt have the option of going to her parents whether she wants to or shes wanting too.

Just curious

It's not about improving our marriage. Our marriage is fine, it's her illness that's the problem. As I've already established, going to her parents has never helped her once, because they don't know what to do. She herself has said she feels worse when she's staying with them and when she does go there, it's only ever been to appease her mom.

I also already explained that moving to America isn't only about her:

U didn't really answer what made u fall in love with her? or are u in love with her?

Also, when is the last time u brought her flowers and set them in her room for her, or even lay next to her bed at the moments she is starring and just holding her like u do understand, even if u don't. No questions asked, just be there.

My suspicions are something triggered all this, and it doesn't seem to be coming out in your threads.

I may be wrong of course.

Hello, it seems that you, your wife and the daughter were having good time, if I remember your post correctly, isn't there anything there? Like the things that's missing in her life? I don't frequent this part of the forum usually, I'm just throwing it out there.

http://forums.psychcentral.com/psych...d-therapy.html

I'm pretty skeptical of the MH system in my country, and as you probably know, psychotherapy is almost out of the question, I was googling about this in Japanese website the other day and the consensus seems to be, just meh. If your wife is Japanese native, the hope of her successfully using the help of US therapists may not be as high as you may think, then that would leave only psychotropic medications as a last resort?

That's just speculation, only the OP knows how she said she wanted to die. Her parents can explain to him better how she's been doing. I may be off point...

bishop419, all the posts and how you say how she's been sounds alarming, some pills can get people suicidal too, there's a possibilities that her previous inpatient stay made her brain even more unwell, be afraid of seeing unfamiliar doctors, her past that you don't know about may be playing the role in her current dangerous depression, nobody knows but her.

There's no magic bullet to treat her current situation, even if she were to be talking to us here, she may not find the exact experiences/symptoms as she's had, or she may even find the similar experiences from someone with different mental conditions, it's quite tricky.

I guess I'm gonna leave these 2 cents and butt out.

P.S. Hairball's post sounded fair, this is a Relationships & Communication part of this huge forum with many member with their own problems in their own lives, trying to be supportive as best they know how. A little humility as a new member goes a long way, good luck.

She has been seeing the doctor and she's been taking the pills. I know because as I said, I have met the doctor on one occasion when she was on an up period. After we married, she had to fill out some paperwork at the hospital where her doctor works for her name change. She needed my personal seal with our family name on it and called me to bring it and I met the doctor at that time. And I know she's taking the pills because she takes them in front of me.

The hope of her receiving help in America may not be that high, but it's certainly higher than her hope of getting better under this current system. And with all the other factors, remaining in Japan just flat-out is not an option. Not unless we want to struggle for the rest of our lives, put the onus of pressure on her for logistical and taxation support, and have very low chance of a decent retirement fund.

Once again, I am sorry you are going through this.

I suggest you stand firm on going to talk to her doctor with her and someone who can translate both your words and your concern.

From the point of view of someone with depression (and you don't need me to tell you this) she will try to push you away.

I am not trying to be mean, just honest. Don't take her actions personally. She isn't herself.