Anxious and Nervous about meeting a guy I met online.

You are right. Good point about not judging, sorry if I offended you.


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I suggested she move on from this guy because she said before she wanted a relationship with a guy, and was not looking for casual sex/threesomes.

There's nothing wrong with threesomes if that's what someone is looking for, but that should be stated up front. For instance, I write on my dating profile that I am looking for an exclusive relationship and I am not open to hookups or threesomes. Yet, as a lesbian, I get requests from couples and women on a daily basis asking if I want to "play." People who are looking for that should respect others who make it clear they are NoT looking for that.

Absolutely, scorpiosis. I write specific things on my profile too, and men ignore it all the time. Like I wrote if you have no profile pic I won't respond, yet they message me all day and night anyways.

It's SO frustrating. It feels like they have no respect for you.

Seesaw

Some people (not all and not the good ones) maybe don't even read profiles but just look at pictures. In my dating times men messaged me despite having nothing that match my partners description in a profile. Not education not marital status not kids/no kids. They didn't care what my requirements were. Not all of course

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How can you reconcile ??? You don't really know him, not really.. You only know what he has decided to tell you ...

He obviously is into things that you are not, so setting boundaries? How are boundaries going to change his mind in what he is looking for in partner/partners.

Do you think you can make him a "one woman man" ?

You have always talked about finding someone and have a mutual love and it be a healthy relationship... Maybe you should really sit down and spend some times thinking about what you want in a relationship and stick to it. No more sex talk with guys you don't know would be a good place to start, Im only saying this based off your threads after you have done this you feel terrible about doing so.

I know I got off topic but I agree with the others that have said here that you should not bother with this guy. He doesn't sound like he matches up with what you are looking for. I don't understand why you would even bother with guys who don't match your interests and romantic desires. It's not only a waste of time but hurts you more in the end.

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It's off again. You guys were right. I wanted to give him a second chance because I am generous like that, but you are right. No guy is worth getting hurt over. He seems to be deluded into thinking my bisexuality is something that would affect him. I don't know why. Maybe it's because he's a self proclaimed "Hebrew Christian" or something like that.

I'm sorry this guy didn't work out. Keep looking though. You'll find a keeper.

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Good for you! I am glad you voted for "you" and stuck by your guns. Trust me you will feel better in the long run. Thank you to all the posters that said you could do better because obviously you know now too.

Dating is hard. Online dating, even HARDER. Its so hard to find someone to match with. I know I struggled with it at one point, and now even though I am still single, I have learned that sometimes the one that's worth waiting for will find himself to me.

Kudos to you for cancelling again. Thank goodness you are safe! Be thankful!

Anyways, I'm glad it's over with. I almost made a huge mistake. I mean, he wanted to draw up a contract with me!! Talk about weird....

Wtf, a contract? That is super weird. It's a first date. No need for a prenuptial yet.

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What a weirdo. He wants threesomes yet is concerned about your bisexuality. Huh? Good job ditching this wacko doodle

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IKR? He was deluded into thinking trust and obedience equaled love....I told him if he wanted some sort of zombie Hebrew bride to look up a mail order one from Russia...XD.

Good for you. I'm glad you stood up for yourself!!

On a side note: I would not call giving a second chance to a stranger on the internet who doesn't match your dating criteria "generous." It's not being generous or having a big heart or being nice. It's denying your own best interests, allowing in a potential predator, and sacrificing yourself for a guy who is interested in sex, and not you as a person. I know that we, as women, are taught to "be nice." But giving in or being a doormat is not "being nice." It's being stupid.

I know many Russian women, nothing zombie about them and they want same healthy relationship as others, not obedience. Don't know what about Hebrew? I am Jewish and behaving this way is not part of our tradition. If he wants threesomes he certainly isn't looking for traditional relationship.



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Maybe he is a fan of the books " 50 shades of grey" ????? and thought that he could actually get someone in real life to fall for it

It's a lifestyle...

He needs to go on fetlife, maybe.

On the bright side, I think it was the right thing to make his desires known before you went out.

Threesomes and kink don't always go hand-in-hand. Plenty of monogamous "50 Shades" people out there.

I'm not bashing 50 shades or people into 3 somes, kink and whatever out there. I was basically just refering to this guy on a dating website that apparently didn't read Art chics profile, I believe she has said in the past that she is looking for a romantic partner not so much into addl people and whatnot in that relationship.

I just wonder why this guy was so pushy and good grief asking for some kinda written agreement???? Written agreement about what and with someone you have never laid eyes on .. LOL thats what my remark about 50 shades was kind of kidding.... about..

Guess Ill throw an LOL on things in the future , just to clarify

It's not that, I was just clarifying. It's a quirk of mine, I suppose. I didn't mean to sound so serious. It was more intended in a conversational tone.

I completely agree and share the annoyance that people don't bother to read or respect the checkboxes and disclaimers at the top of profiles! I say right at the top of mine that I'm not interested in poly or threesomes, but I get lots of messages asking me for precisely that.

Yeah, the written agreement is unusual and very premature! Anyone trying to control her like that should be avoided. I suspect that he's more a predatory sort than anything else. Online dating is a nightmare, but there's not really a way around it these days.

Not offended at all - sorry if I gave that impression.

kamikazebaby It's all good ! I love your name btw

Umm I think he's either full of ***** or really messed up. or actually trolling. I didn't know they existed on date sites but I really think his crap is just messing with you.

Here's what I see about his behavior. It seems like he is saying the most controversial things to see what kind of reaction he can get and he enjoys it but here's why:

1. asked about threesome.
2. got angry at you not being exclusive.
3. offended by (I'm assuming that's what you meant) bisexuality
4. Is a "Christian".

First, let's talk about the contradictions in everything he said. He asked about threesomes but has a problem with bisexuality? I'm not sure about you but more often than not, threesomes are likely to have bisexuality involved because two of the same sex are inevitable.

The idea that he is a Christian as if that has any reason to be his foundation for his being offended at bisexuality yet, again, if he were, most Christians would also have a problem with multiple partner sex too. That made no sense.

The whole idea that he would mention being a Christian and also be so open about sex is kind of a contradiction too most times. yes, I know that not all believers are against sex before marriage and there are all kinds but I'm talking about the most common ideal in Christianity and his stating he was a "Hebrew Christian" which kind of implies a fundamental Christian.

I think you dodged a bullet here

Oh that's what Hebrew Christian was. Fundamental? I thought maybe he beans Jews for Christianity or something like that.

Fundamental Christian asks about three somes lol

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Usually called Messianic Jew. But I suppose it could be that too. Makes sense.

Not only messianic Jews, there is also organization Jews for Jesus etc

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