It hurts to much

There was one of these guys I have been talking too from when I was a camgirl and pretending I liked what I was doing and then I just stopped talking to him and he was like "where are you at?" to be honest it just hurts to much to pretend that I am not still hurt with men. It hurts to much to talk to them and it sucks. I really wish I didn't feel this way but I feel like I will always feel this way. To me I am in disbelief that I would ever be happy with any man and to be honest I don't want anything to do with how I am feeling but I can't help but be stuck here and it hurts everyday. I can't for the life of me talk to them in more than just a friend way because I find it hard as if it is to not get rid of them. It is already challenging enough to want to be friends with them let alone sleep with them and date them it's just unthinkable for me. I just don't want to feel this way anymore but it is how I feel and I have to respect that. I can't talk to them anymore if it is causing me pain that is just not loving to myself.

Maybe a vacation from the pressure of talking to them could help?

That's why I haven't been on dating apps in months and so far I have been going easy with myself telling myself that it is okay that I need time. I will feel better then just rushing into things just because I feel lonely and insecure also I feel better for the fact that I am giving myself the time.

Have you considered counseling and getting to the bottom of why you feel this way towards men? I think for one, you're attracting all the wrong men by doing your cam stuff and talking to random guys on fb. You may not be doing these things anymore but some of these men still linger. Those aren't the healthy type of men to attract and I think you need to ignore and block them.

Start participating in healthy activities and attracting good men. If I'm right, you're not old enough for the bars but maybe coffee dates.

Take some time to yourself and stay off these trashy sites and get better mentally. We attract the worst people when we're ill. Many men see a hurt girl and take advantage of that. Believe me lol. Been there, broke up with that!

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

I just feel like all men cause are problems and yes I need to be blocking some men there was this man who asked for nudes I guess he thought because I was camming that I would be up for that. To be honest I really do believe that when were sick we attract the worst men into our lives that is why I want to get my self love up and independence up so I don't have to rely on somebody else to lift me up. As for counselling I might even get good help in portugal also I feel like my romantic attraction has changed like I am not finding men attractive in the romantic way anymore I see them as rather dull and I feel I pass them by

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk[/QUOTE]

Also I have a guy friend that I talk to and he thinks the webcamming was more about me feeling like if I showed a little skin I might get some money he believes that I was more tricked into thinking this was work and that I could live off this. I said to him that I thought I was a slut he says that I am a nice girl. So if that is the case then how did I end up on there? I guess I felt like my talents wouldn't give me money and the financial security I was begging and needing. All of this was just insecurities and bad judgement from moments of depression

Also sometimes the way we are treated by bad men can make us believe that we are sluts and we somehow deserve to be treated as such and I think that was what happened to me. I was treated like an object by someone I trusted and so I was manipulated and influenced to do something that I characterically wouldn't normally do.