[Fleury29]

No matter where I go, what I do, what I say, it always seems to be the exact wrong thing. I try to fit in, I try to be social I try to be outgoing, I try, but I never get anything for my efforts so I may as well just give up. There's no point in putting any effort into something that only makes you feel miserable. So, I'm just going to stop trying to find someplace I fit in, because I apparently don't fit in anywhere, and there's also apparently no one out there who will just give me a chance, so I'm just going back to being my old anti social shut in self. Because there's no real reason to be social.

[imarae]

Hi , don't feel that way at all. I may know a little as to where you are coming from and how u may be feeling but don't put yourself down or beat yourself up on it. Just remain positive focus on making yourself happy and the rest will follow. god bless and I hope you have an awesome day

I understand.
Im not social and I dont fit in. Stopped trying as a kid.

By my appearance you would never believe that but thats just to make it out there and back home without the "sad girl stares"

Many times it really isnt you. People arent accepting. Their selfish inconsiderate and many times threatened easily by new comers.

Honestly what helps me is a F** them attitude.
Dont hide too much tho. You know its not really good and its easy to get stuck being secluded.

[TishaBuv]

When I started school, as a little child, I had a bad experience with exclusive, snobby, bully girls that really scarred me.

From that, I taught myself to act very friendly toward meeting new people, to show no fear and weakness, to seem confident and it really worked. I learned how to make friends when I want to.

Yesterday, a woman I have known for 20 years called me out of the blue. I know her through our kids, but we were never socially friends. She called to try to sell me something. I told her I wasn't interested in buying, but we should get together sometime. She suggested we go out to dinner, and we did. We chuckled about how it took us 20 years to get together. I'll call her again sometime to go to a movie or lunch. I'm glad I took the initiative.

And I also feel like I don't fit in. This woman is not at all like me. But I know how to talk about our kids or what little we do have in common.

[s4ndm4n2006]

I'm not the most social person but I will say this, my not being a part of social groups is on me.

You're welcome to give up and opt out but just keep in mind that you cannot change how social groups are, you can only change you. Thing is what I see most of all is that with social groups, people that fit in aren't entirely being themselves either. There is a certain amount of molding one has to do to fit into groups. I dont' care how you look at it no matter what social groups are merely groups of unique individuals. there is no perfect group where everyone fits in, where all their interests are common or anything. We make a choice to pick and choose what we go along with and what we stand firm in.

I speak from experience and as I said I'm not social either but it's not the fault of anyone but myself. I have to choose to be social and when I do this it means making myself fit in. I will never be exactly like the others or find any group of people that accept everything that I am, and I have to ACCEPT that the group isn't perfect either.

What I am saying is, it's not impossible to find a group to fit in with. But it's not something that happens, it's something we make happen.