[fijiisland]

I feel that lately I have been getting rid of people in my life. but then again there really isn't anyone in my life to get rid of! My one only friend (who uses me by the way) I have been ignoring her. She only asks me to go out when it benefits her (a guy she likes will be there, etc.) I have felt used by her for over 20 years. But I have always put up with it because I have no one else. Some men on the side in my life I have been drifting away from (they also use me and I use them) Not talking to them as much and when I do I am sort of mean.

I am very lonely and depressed. Today I went to a cookout and just wanted to go home. I am not social to begin with and today I just didnt feel like it.

I just want to be left alone and do my own thing. I am so stressed with my living arrangements that I am surprised I am still alive (most would of killed themselves by now) I take antidepressants but at this point only to stop from withdrawal (ive been through it before)

Sometimes I feel I am growing up and getting stronger and thats why I am pushing these people away because I should push them away. Staying in touch with them is a bad thing. But I am also so depressed so I don't know if that;s why either???

[HopHey]

Originally Posted by fijiisland

I feel that lately I have been getting rid of people in my life. but then again there really isn't anyone in my life to get rid of! My one only friend (who uses me by the way) I have been ignoring her. She only asks me to go out when it benefits her (a guy she likes will be there, etc.) I have felt used by her for over 20 years. But I have always put up with it because I have no one else. Some men on the side in my life I have been drifting away from (they also use me and I use them) Not talking to them as much and when I do I am sort of mean.

I am very lonely and depressed. Today I went to a cookout and just wanted to go home. I am not social to begin with and today I just didnt feel like it.

I just want to be left alone and do my own thing. I am so stressed with my living arrangements that I am surprised I am still alive (most would of killed themselves by now) I take antidepressants but at this point only to stop from withdrawal (ive been through it before)

Sometimes I feel I am growing up and getting stronger and thats why I am pushing these people away because I should push them away. Staying in touch with them is a bad thing. But I am also so depressed so I don't know if that;s why either???

I've gotten where I don't like being around people at all. I've lost friends because I don't go to their events or visit them at their homes.

I have gotten rid of people that were taking advantage of me or if it was just for there convenience, I dont need negative, toxic people in my life, I am starting fresh and trying to make new friends and you should do the same, People who are actualy your friends and care about you, There out there

[Crazy Hitch]

When I'm depressed, I isolate myself and push absolutely everyone away. I question motives and intent of others. Don't want to go anywhere, don't want to see anyone.

I live somewhat of a lonely life. I have my bf and then one true friend who has stuck by me through thick and thin and suffers depression too so she gets me.

[TerryL]

I can relate. I need to get rid of one friend because she is a bit intolerant and harsh with some people. that's just not my way. but I don't have that many friends so I have not done anything. my other friend and I have grown apart. i had one other friend but i don't think she really deep down cared about me and she started to be unkind so i let her go. i felt good about that. my one true friend is my ex. I don't call him though because he is married now. he still checks up on me every few years, to make sure I am ok. i would love to make new friends but i am older now and a bit shy so it is not that easy. i feel lonely too.

[Crazylion]

Originally Posted by Crazy Hitch

When I'm depressed, I isolate myself and push absolutely everyone away. I question motives and intent of others. Don't want to go anywhere, don't want to see anyone.

I live somewhat of a lonely life. I have my bf and then one true friend who has stuck by me through thick and thin and suffers depression too so she gets me.

greetings,.

I am over the hill now, around 52 i think, and I had "friends" galore all of my life, was very popular and loved having a great time and becoming a legend of the 80s. I don't see any of those people anymore. Havnt in years, alot of the died from drugs and mental issues, a couple suicides, etc.

so fastforward 30plus years and I have a small, yet very cherished group of real friends now. last year my mother passed after a very long 10 years of demntial illness into alzheimers. I had her for fiveyears and the had POA, was left alone by my three sisters to make the decisions. I was glad just surprised how horrrible my family has become. Its severe codependency issues that has me going to therapy and them on the hate me and I've hurt them campaign. it's focked up.

getting to my point. last year i fell into depression greiving over paranet and now my sisters, expecially the babay who is the anti-christ. honestly, i can understand the entire dynanic about why my family is who they are and why we were destubed to be unable to have a healthy and loving relationship. so 9 was n this depresssion and she and i shared a few people. mostly kids in their 20s, my hairdresser, his friend whom i loved. Most people euther stepped back and just stay friends with both of us not worrying abuout anything. i have several of those special folk. but the hairdresser whom i was very close with and she onky stays up late with them and drinks all hours of the night is not speaking to me at all. The weak little jerk was the only one who let her influendce him into picking sides. hea just verbablly went off on my after dinner one night and I thought im olde enough to e his young grandma, and i hve nothing left to say to the ***.

so aftr that incldient, i started turning off my impulse control swith in my brain, and i am proud to say that I drove every person who was getting cloer to me away. Alot of the didn't have the gumption to ride over the little moments with me and not be afraid or let me run from me. At this age, i can piss someone off in less than sa minue.

my husband and two best girlfriends of 33 and 34 years remain. the one is flakey, horrible undependable and rude without knowing it she shows me she doesnt holld e in esteem now, but this eyeia\s smeing special.

im getting so tired i''m falling asleeeph. i hope i hade somesomense. fsory if i didn't fit,

I can also relate, once I got rid of a very toxic parental until I realized that the majority of people I had invited into my life displayed the same behaviors and habits that my parent had. Subconsciously I had invited/attracted the same types of people into my life for many years, I also struggle with depression and tend to isolate. In the last 8-2 years I have ceased contact with all of the high maintenance friends & acquaintances I had and 90% of my dysfunctional family. I felt guilty and lonely to begin with but I reminded myself daily that the the alternative of having toxic people in my life would be far more detrimental.

It can get better, it just takes some time....I now only have a handful of friendships with some very old friends and a couple of new I met through my daughters school and work/college. I may not feel necessary "close" to these people all of the time as I have become a more private and introverted person through my recovery journey....but its easy going and I can maintain these relationships much easier now that I refuse to live by others peoples expectations of me.

Hang in there!

[Biba_yu]

I can relate. I feel like my "friends" are around me only when it suits them, for instance, when we work close and they need company at breaks, when we meet accidentally somewhere, or they need something etc but I feel not one of these people actually cares about me at all. They just acknowledge me when it's convenient for them, but never call me to ask how I am, or ask me to go out. Maybe it is my fault, I tend to look very distant, as I am shy and introvert, and can look cold and even conceited. My looks and my psyche don't match. They take it personally. Or maybe I am just boring. Whatever it is, it's making me miserable, so I am also thinking to stop ever seeing all people who are just around when we accidentally meet. It's difficult because I may also be alone at the end. And I really have no strength to find new friends. I am so tired...