 |
| FAQ/Help |
| Calendar |
| Search |
|
#1
Aug 17, 2007, 12:37 AM
|
|||
|
|||
|
i feel like ive trapped my bf...he says its not true...but i know he puts up with alot of crap from me
 i do things a normal person wouldnt do....im messed up...he should have a normal relationship....a normal gf....someone he doesnt have to fight with...im sad....
__________________
"You look at me, and you dont like what you see. But this is the price of living with you, Mother. " - White Oleander |
|
#2
Aug 17, 2007, 06:36 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
((((((((Inny))))))
I am sorry you are sad. Your boyfriend must be happy with the way things are since you are still together. What the heck is a "normal" girl/boy friend anyway? Just wanted to let you know I care. Dee
__________________
Parce que maman l'a dit 
|
|
#3
Aug 17, 2007, 07:14 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
((((((((((((((((((((((((( inny ))))))))))))))))))))))))))
I know it's hard to understand why people would love us when we are not feeling our best. We tell ourselves that we are not worthy of anyone when we are not feeling worthy of ourselves. Remember this, you cannot make your boyfriend love you and stay with you. The fact that he does love you and is still with you is a testimony to his feelings for you. Like mybestkids2 said, what is normal anyways??? We are what we are....warts and all. You are worthy of his love and acceptance.....even when you are feeling low. He sees what we here see of you....a wonderful and caring individual who is a hard worker. And who among us does not have some kind of problem in their lives they are dealing with? That is life.....for everyone! We do our best to get through and to learn and heal. You are no exception my friend. Love & Hugs sabby |
|
#4
Aug 17, 2007, 09:19 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Arrgh I think I know how you feel... I have this feeling with my bf too, that he shouldn't have to cope with all my problems too. But I know deep down that if he really didn't want to be here with me, he wouldn't be... maybe similar with you?
__________________
If you're going through hell, keep going.... (Churchill) |
|
#5
Aug 18, 2007, 01:19 AM
|
||||
|
||||
 Okie
__________________
|
|
#6
Aug 18, 2007, 09:43 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
((((((((((((((((((InACorner)))))))))))))))))))
__________________
|
|
#7
Aug 18, 2007, 12:36 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
sabau2 said: ((((((((((((((((((((((((( inny )))))))))))))))))))))))))) I know it's hard to understand why people would love us when we are not feeling our best. We tell ourselves that we are not worthy of anyone when we are not feeling worthy of ourselves. Remember this, you cannot make your boyfriend love you and stay with you. The fact that he does love you and is still with you is a testimony to his feelings for you. Like mybestkids2 said, what is normal anyways??? We are what we are....warts and all. You are worthy of his love and acceptance.....even when you are feeling low. He sees what we here see of you....a wonderful and caring individual who is a hard worker. And who among us does not have some kind of problem in their lives they are dealing with? That is life.....for everyone! We do our best to get through and to learn and heal. You are no exception my friend. Love & Hugs sabby </div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> (((inacorner))) sabau, excellent posting....... inacorner, i also have a very hard time with relationships because i feel unworthy of being treated well and loved....... but as others have said, the fact that your bf has told you that you havent trapped him, and that he seems to really want to be with you, should tell you something.... and again, ain't no such thing as "normal". we all have our crap, whether we have an official diagnosis or not. hope you're feeling better soon......
__________________
"There's a dark side to each and every human soul. We wish we were Obi-Wan Kenobi, and for the most part we are, but there's a little Darth Vader in all of us." -Chris Stevens |
|
#8
Aug 19, 2007, 10:16 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Hi InACorner -- One thing I have felt concerned about as I read this thread and the one about wanting to get married to the bf, is how recently you disclosed being angry living with the bf's family. You disclosed your financial assistance, ways that your contributions appear to be disregarded, and that your bf had not always defended you as strongly as you might have wished.
Has all this been solved? It seems as if the story you are telling now is that everything is okay and that your bf is being idealized for "putting up with you"? Are you no longer financially contributing to the family? Are you no longer cleaning up after the irresponsible family members? Has a place been found in a closet for your things? Can you give an update about what what has caused what appears to me -- as someone very much on the outside looking in, knowing only what you disclose here -- what has caused the shift from I'm-very-angry to I-love-him-and-want-to-get-married. I'm just a little off-balance by all this.
__________________
|
|
#9
Aug 19, 2007, 04:09 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
yea im sorry i didnt give an update....actually things are alittle better.....i still pay....and with alittle muenvering on my part i was able to get that closet space and alittle while ago after having a really nice day with the bf i got home and we got yelled at and thats when i yelled back and told them whats what and what needs to stop and what needs to happen...i yelled but provided back up with my arguements....i love him ...he as an individual makes me really happy....its just so hhard to get used to being a minority...and apparently he does stick up for me...he just doesnt always tell me....its so hard being surrounded by a different culture....with a different language...and i dont always understand the things they do...and sometimes they annoy the heck outta me...and thats mainly because my mother made me hard and cold and i am finding it really hard to connect with people...including his family....because i never had a family...like one stupid argument we had was we tell his family where we are going....to them its common curteosy....as well as to alot of people it is curtoesy...however i was brought up that no body cares so why say anything....its a sign of weakness if you extend these sorta things to parental figures...or at least what they taught me...what you guys mostly witness (and this is my fault and i do deeply apologize) is an inner self battle between my abused self and the self that wants to be with the family and wants to move on and wants be a part of this family.....i might not make any sense...if you need more clarification ill try ....thank you for being so supportive...i must be so confusing to deal with ....thanks ((((((((((wantstofly)))))))))))
((((Bella)))))) ((((Sabau)))) (((Okiedokie))))) ((((mybestkids)))) ((((meander)))))
__________________
"You look at me, and you dont like what you see. But this is the price of living with you, Mother. " - White Oleander |
|
#10
Aug 19, 2007, 06:22 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Hi Inny -- I don't need clarification. None of my business, really. I just hope you are clear. There is still a lot going on in this situation. Marriage is a big step, and the problems don't just vanish when the wedding cake is cut, and then the bride and groom go off to live "happily ever after." The problems will be there, sometimes more intensely. And as Marianne Williamson has written, marriage means that no one is leaving the room when the shouting starts.
__________________
|
|
#11
Aug 19, 2007, 06:25 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Inny, I completely understand the problems that come up with families from different cultures with different values. Since my hubby is Romanian, there are huge differences between their thoughts and mine regarding a lot of different things. Luckily I don't have to live with the inlaws or I'm sure I would go through the same kind of stressors that you are going through.
I know that when I don't understand why Florin's family thinks for feels a certain way, I try to ask him where they get their thought patterns from, what drives them to believe in certain ways, or act in certain ways. And he also does the same with me when he doesn't understand my values and ideals. Keeping the lines of communication open are very very important for both you and your bf's family. Wishing you well my friend! sabby |
|
#12
Aug 19, 2007, 06:26 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
So glad that Sabau has some better insights than I do, Inny.
__________________
|
| Reply |
This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
|
Similar Threads
|
||||
| Thread | Forum | |||
| does anyone else feel this way? I can't feel the presence of God. I'd like to! | Sanctuary for Spiritual Support | |||
| I don't know how I feel | Dissociative Disorders | |||
| How can I feel better and still feel like feces? | Other Mental Health Discussion | |||
| when i feel the need to cut, i feel.... | Self Injury | |||
| I'm 18, but still feel like a kid | Other Mental Health Discussion | |||
My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.
Linear Mode
