[kaleidoscopeheart]

In December my husband admitted to having an affair with another woman. We have been working through this in couples therapy and also each seeing our therapist individually. Since that day though I have completely lost who I am. I was never a "girly girl" rarely putting on make up, usually putting my hair in a pony tail, and wearing geeky t-shirts and jeans. Now I dress up daily, wear make up, straighten my hair, and stopped doing anything that I used to enjoy like watching my favorite shows, writing, or doing anything that my husband has ever joked about in the past. Even sex has changed because I do things that I never would have before. If my husband or my kids are not home or not awake I end up just sitting and waiting for them to give me purpose.... Basically I am a mess and I have no idea how to come back to what I was. Is that even possible or am I stuck being this shell of myself for the rest of my life?

[MickeyCheeky]

Sorry about that - I think a lot of women share your feelings. I think it's possible though - how is your therapy going?

[Bill3]

It does take time for therapy to show progress. What does your individual t say?

[healingme4me]

That is certainly a huge blow to the life that you thought you were living. Subconscious motivations to halt being an image of what you once were seems based upon the traumatic nature of this experience. It could be a way of trying to prevent this from happening again, understandable and a below the conscious level reaction. Feeling like a shell sounds like depression. Considering your situation, of course you're going through a myriad of feelings. It's devastating.

[Sunflower123]

Keep working with your therapist and you'll eventually see glimpses of who you were and will start breaking that shell. You have to be the best, most authentic you not the best facade you can come up with. I'm sorry you are going through this. You must be a big jumble of emotions. Thinking of you with best wishes.